My experience on Friday the 21st…

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Hi guys,

I had a lovely day on Friday the 21st. I was especially excited about seeing the weekend begin and at about 5:20 or so, I left work and headed towards Ajose Adeogun. As I turned into Mobil from Ozumba, an Okada came from NOWHERE and hit me hard! My number 1 thought was ‘Jesus, I’m not going to add manslaughter to the list of my sins’.

Scared, shaken, angry, I parked in the middle of the road got down to assess the damage done, not even to the car but to the bike man in particular. I was scared that this man had killed himself. As soon as I saw that he was alive, breathing and actually fixing his bike, I screamed at him in a way that shocked even I. It was as though someone came out of me to vex and I was calmly observing the goings on. I was livid.

‘How dare you ride your bike like that?!’ ‘What if you had killed yourself? You didn’t even check the road. You’re lucky nothing happened to you!’

Our typical pocknosey Nigerians had gathered- most people were on Team Temi and they were asking me to calm down and take it easy. I decided to heed their advice and gently started walking towards the car. Just as I turned, the only member of Team Okadaman, one white man, said ‘Calm down, you are a lady. And it was your fault, you were overspeeding’ I saw RED! Let’s just say he received the remaining part of the venom I was trying to swallow. I was outraged.

What does ladylikeness have to do with this? If he had killed himself and I was bundled to Alagbon police station to write a statement and be detained, would they have treated me like a lady?

A few minutes after, I felt bad that I wasn’t calmer and that I didn’t exhibit the fruit of the Spirit sha. But okada men make it hard to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, really. They do not obey traffic laws, they don’t obey traffic lights, they are just totally impossible!

Dear Lord, please this is to remind you of my earlier request for okadas to be banned in Lagos and for them to be provided with even better and less endangering jobs. Thank You Lord.

Drive safely guys. I pray none of us will harm or be harmed as we go about our daily activities in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Temiville.xoxo

The Art of Love

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Love is patient;

Sometimes you are slow; slow in responding to my messages; slow in asking me what bothers me; slow in telling me you love me. Sometimes when I say ‘I’m fine’ you ignorantly believe and never persist. You don’t magically read my mind understanding my every nervous blink, my sudden frown, my silent tear or my hidden worries but I love you by being patient for love is patient. Sometimes you are impatient with me and I am ever so tempted to flare up and lose my patience in return but I hold back for I love you by showing patience. Sometimes you do things that make me wonder why I am here with you. But I know I heard Him right when He told me you are the one. And so I am patient for I love you and my love is patient.

 Love is kind;

I itch to pay you back in your coin at times. I burn to let you know how it feels to be hurt. I want to starve you and make you beg.  But I love you and love is kind. I want to tell you your younger cousins cannot stay in our home for more than 2 weeks but I know they need to stay longer and I also know how much they mean to you. So I let them because I love you and my love is kind.

Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude;

I want to let you know how intelligent of me it was to give you that business contact that has now worked well. I want to flaunt my wisdom in your face. I want to make it clear that without me, you might not have attained this height. But then I remember: no more are we twain. For what is yours is mine and your success is mine and I love you.

Love does not insist on its own way;

I don’t  understand why we can’t have brown and cream interiors. I don’t see the need for a brand new car when cars from the States are just as good as new without the price tag. But I now know that I cannot view things with my two eyes alone but now with four. I have learned to think for two and not just for myself and what seems right to me because I love you and love does not insist on its own

Love is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I could go on and on about how many things my flesh want me to do but my spirit chides me gently, telling me it is wrong.

I have learned the art of love from He who loved me enough to send His son to die and from the son who loved me enough to accept such a seemingly ludicrous plan. I have learned love from a God who keeps taking me back even when I consciously, knowingly, purposely go astray.

I have learned the art of love from a mother who has sacrificed her everything to make me what I am today. A mother, who would rather starve than watch any of her kids lack even things we know are not essential. I have learned love from a father who would spend three nights neither eating nor drinking but rather praying to God for his children’s well being.

I have learned the art of love from you, from your openness, your kindness, your giving nature, your understanding heart. How then could I not totally, completely, helplessly love you?

Love is not this feeling I feel. It is this decision I have made and to which I  will stick. It neither depends on how I feel nor does it hinge on how you behave.

I have learned the art of love and I am practising it like my life depends on my performance…

I Corinthians 13

***Hi guys, no better place to learn about love than from the Bible. No better teacher than God. Guys let’s learn to love the way God loves. Not just in the romantic sense, as it expressed in this poem but also in our day to day dealings. God bless you!

Have a great stress-free week!

Temiville.xoxo

A muser prays…for her future

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As I love, please let it be with someone who loves me back

I love You Lord so let it be with someone who loves You too

I love hard, Lord, let him love harder

***

I don’t ‘look at men’, Lord let his eyes be fixed on me only

Let the wayward girl who only finds taken men attractive be repulsive to him

Let the friends he has who want to lead him astray either change or be gone!

***

Let his mom love me as her own

Let his father take me as his seed

Let his brothers admire me as a jewel

Let his sisters not feel threatened

Let them believe they have gained a sibling and not a competitor

***

I blind the eyes of every husband snatcher

Lord if they remain obstinate, let evil befall them

No matter how hard they try, they will not succeed

Lord let his love for you ensure that he never cheats on me

Let his love for you be sufficient to ward against infidelity

Lord, I will never cheat neither will I stray

My love will be enough for him

His love will be enough for me

***

We will be fruitful in child bearing

We will be fruitful in child rearing

Our children will be taught of the Lord and great shall be their peace

Our son(s) shall be God loving, God fearing, responsible, stunning

Our daughter(s) shall be the same

They will not bring us shame

They will not bring You shame

***

Father, I come against pot belliedness

I declare that he will remain fit and trim

Father, I come against being anything more that a size 10

I will only balloon to a size 12 in pregnancy

After two months may I promptly lose the extra weight

***

Dear Lord, I come against sickness and disease

You have taken our sickness upon You

Therefore the devil has no right to place infirmity on us

Our children shall be healthy

We shall be healthy

None of the sicknesses of the Egyptians shall come upon us

And we shall neither cast our young nor die young

Instead, we shall live to ripe old ages and fulfil our days

***

Heavenly Father, we shall not lack

We shall lend to the nations

We shall be givers, paying our tithes and giving to others

***

God you know I have other prayers to say but I shall stop here (for now)

Please answer even my unsaid prayers as you know my requests

For in Jesus’ name I pray!

Temiville.xoxo

A muser prays…for her nation

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Lord I love my country

But when I look around, I am hurt

You said in Your word that I should make my request known

So here goes…

If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Lord have mercy on us

Forgive our iniquity as a nation

In wrath, remember mercy oh Lord

Let mercy triumph over judgment

***

Lord uproot every selfish leader in Nigeria

From the President to the Local Government Chairmen

Anyone whose aim for coming into office is on self aggrandizement shall be unseated

Put in their stead, men and women who fear You and will do Your bidding

Father, the local government elections are taking place on Saturday

Let only Your candidates win

***

Righteousness exalts a nation

Sin is a reproach to any people

Lord let righteousness reign in this country

I know this starts from individuals so I begin with myself:

Let me begin to see sin the way You see it

Let me stop thinking I can do that wrong deed and seek forgiveness later for ‘God understands’

Let the fear of God, the love for and of God be firmly placed in my heart

Let me put others before me

***

Father to every past leader that has siphoned public funds,

Let them know no peace unless they restitute

Help us to use our wealth for our own good as a nation

And not use it to harm ourselves

***

I come against terrorist activities in this country

It shall not prevail

Terrorism is not just from Boko Haram

It includes selfish leaders who terrorise the people

Lord save us from their hands

Let genuine love reign

***

Lord touch the hearts of the human principalities and powers behind NEPA (PHCN)

Let them release this country from darkness

All those diesel importers/sellers who have vested interest and are consciously ensuring the darkness of this nation shall be put to shame

Let there be light in Nigeria!

***

Lord, the traffic in Lagos will make a grown man weep

Father have mercy

Free the roads and let there be orderliness

Let people stay in their lanes and stop being so impatient

Lord eradicate okadas and provide other honest great jobs for them

***

Let Nigeria regain her lost glory and let that green passport start being a  thing of pride

For in Jesus’ name I pray!

Temiville.xoxo

Ghana/Whether na 1 million, whether na 1 billion…

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Akwaaba people!!!

Here is a picture of me in Ghana…

The bride had rented out the accommodation. Check out its website: http://calabashgreen.com/

They were so courteous and gave us an excellent service. I look forward to going back so much.

***

The other day, someone put this up as their BB status: Whether na 1 million, whether na 1 billion baby you got me.  I laughed when I saw it and thought to share. A few days after, I started thinking about it. So the actual songwriter said ‘1 naira/1 million’ but my people have decided to remix it to suit their own purposes. Let’s imagine 1 naira means being broke. The point is that they do not wish to be with a broke person.

I’m a firm believer in the following principles:

-money is not everything

-love of money is the root of all evil

-love conquers all

-my love for you is irrespective of your financial status

But then, my friends and I were having a tete a tete and then this question was posed:

-if someone with no degree, no job, no enterprise walks up to you and asks you out, will you look beyond his financial state and date or even end up marrying him?

There was a lot of ‘God forbid’ ‘how now?’ ‘how will we even meet?’. Even the noblest response was something along these lines, ‘well, I’m not particular about what he has now but I’m certainly concerned about his earning power prospects or lack thereof so maybe not’. I might need to add that these girls are all personally comfortable and not leeches looking to suck a man dry so there’s no issue of gold digging going on. It’s more like gold keeping/maintaining.

Can you date someone with no visible prospects whatsoever ‘for love’?

PS: This also relates to guys.

Muse with me!

Temiville.xoxo

Wow!!!

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Thank you!!!

Thank you guys so much for all your views and comments on my  last post “The love I never had”. You embarrassed me with your attention and responses. I am actually overwhelmed. I had almost double the highest number of views I had ever recorded on this blog on Friday. Wow!!! Thanks people! I pray God will bless you so much you will constantly be overwhelmed with joy in Jesus’ name. Yes, I am so happy I have to pray for you guys, lol!

For the lovely new subscribers, welcome aboard!!! I hope you enjoy musing with me. As a form of kick off I’d like to place links to my most viewed posts over the months. WordPress has this new feature so I thought why not let every newbie read favourite/popular posts and also refresh my good old buddies’ memories of past posts. So here are the top 10 posts (according to WordPress!):

This Life Sha (Part 2)

Where do we draw the line?

Feyisayo Adelekan

Where do I turn?

Had I known

Never again!

What would you have done?

Things are not the same as before

Too tall for a girl

Lukewarmness…Why can\’t I \’just there\’?

Hope you enjoy browsing through!

***

The whole Friday experience had me thinking and I’d like to share my thoughts…

As bloggers, there’s something that means a lot to us-views and comments. A lot of people claim the existence of a dichotomy in blogosphere: the old school bloggers (those who blogged just to pour out their thoughts and views. These supposedly do not care for views or comments) and the new generation bloggers (those who would yarn anything for comments and views). I beg to differ sha. I think we all care for views. If we didn’t we would simply type up posts in our Document folders and never publish. It feels good to know people out there are stopping by and it feels even better to see that comment which shows they cared enough by taking out time to type their responses.

I have done MAD research on some posts which barely got 4 comments, lol. Seriously. I would Google, Wikipedia stuff and after all my thoughts being poured out, only a few hundred people would view and maybe max 5 comments. Now on  Friday, I did NO research. Maybe one just to confirm the spelling of a word. I just poured out my thoughts…

Now you might be wondering where it is that I am going with this… The Bible says in Romans 9:16 that: So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. Now picture the posts I wrote with the hope for views and from lots of research and sweat as ‘willing’ and ‘running’ and still nothing-few views and comments and feedback. On Friday, I put little effort and got an amazing and unexpected result.

Point is, in life, it is not always about how much sweat you put in. Whilst I do not discount the importance of hardwork, this passage in Psalm 127 comes to mind: Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It’s less about working hard and more about working smart. What smarter way is there to do stuff than to place it at God’s feet? None, I’d say.

No matter how many hours you spend on that dissertation, only God’s grace can help. No matter how much you try to impress that girl/guy, only God’s grace can help. No matter how great you write that report in order to win your boss’ approval, only God’s grace can help. Dare I add that no matter how much you try to be a good, sinless Christian, only God’s grace can help. Let’s learn to lean less on our efforts and more on His grace. His grace is sufficient!

On a slightly related note, I came across this video and it really had me laughing. The babe warns against women cooking in order to encourage their boyfriends to marry them. In a way, I see her point. Unless God says that’s your man, no amount of cooking, pounding yam, making banga, washing clothes, scrubbing bathtubs can ever make him propose. He’ll end up with the girl who refuses to lift a finger until he blesses her finger. Be wise, don’t be an Ekaette! LOL!!!

Have a lovely week and God bless you all!

PS: I came across this blog and absolutely love it!!! Enjoy http://www.inyamuakut.com/

Temiville.xoxo

The love I never had

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I’d always loved Onus. He was what everyone would call the perfect man. Every female loved him. The three month old gurgled and laughed at his every tickle. The three year old cried excitedly, ‘Uncle Onus cawwy me!’ The 13 year old thought he was the best big brother figure in the world. I mean who else will let you drive their car from the car park to the gate. The 23 year old was in love with him. The 53 year old wished him to be her son in law. He was just almost perfect.

We were close. Too close. Despite this closeness, he kept details of his relationships to the barest minumum. The only give aways on his love life were the ‘I’m with her’, ‘we’re having problems’, ‘it’s over between us’ statements. I never probed.  He’d always been a man of few words and this is among the qualities that endeared me to him. It always felt like there was more to him than he gave off and there was.

He was with Slyvie for almost 4 years. Theirs was a rocky relationship, off and on. Secretly, I was the happiest person on earth when he announced to me that they had finally decided to go their separate ways. She had found someone new and although he was still single, he had a few ‘maybes’ on the side and wasn’t too keen on anything serious for now. I was very elated by the news though I hid it well. I comforted him and called on him as often as I could manage. He seemed to be dealing with the break up quite well.

Why couldn’t Onus just see that I am perfect for him! Veronica and Simeon my other best friends said it was my fault that Onus just couldn’t see me as a potential. I was not sexy. I would drive to his house in my unbathed body wearing yesterday’s clothes. I would fart in his presence and carry on talking like nothing happened. I looked at the line up of girls he had dated. Ayomikun was the least pretty and she was pretty. Well, maybe not pretty but what she lacked in facial beauty, she made up for with her toned, athletic physique. Shola was the most beautiful and she was always well put together. His most recent ex, Sylvie, was the most intimidating of the lot. She is mixed race so in a way hers is an unfair comparison.

I decided to take the advice I was given. ‘First ditch this ‘Team Natural’ business and invest in a relaxer. You don’t even need to fix. Just have straight hair. Wear less boot cut jeans and more skinny ones. Add on a few heels and for the love of God, shapen those brows that are threatening to merge’.

This makeover cost me my entire salary for the month of August. I went to shops in Adeniran Ogunsanya and bought some fitted skirts, skinny jeans, sheer blouses, high heels and even make up! I never used more than powder and lip gloss but now I had a full make up bag along with some training on how to use my new purchases. God bless that attendant who took out a whole hour to show me how to use a mascara, eye pencil and blush!

My next stop was Make Me, also in Surulere. Blessing almost passed out when she saw me holding a pack of relaxer.

‘You are not planning to use that, are you?’ she asked.

‘Actually, I am’.

After almost 10 minutes of finding out if I was sure, she put the first scoop on my virgin hair. I had been natural for 23 months. But if having natural locks was making me lose out on what could be the best thing in my life, then it’s gotta go. I must admit the result was impressive. My hair had grown so long. I had them put rollers in it and straighten the curls out after. My makeover for Onus’ love was almost complete.

We attend the same Church in Yaba and so the next day was supposed to be my day of showing forth. I picked out skinny brown pants Veronica had given me six months ago which I just didn’t know what to match it with. I decided to wear one of my new sheer blouses, the cream one. As much as the idea of colour blocking intrigued me, I was going to play safe today.  I completed the look with my four inch beige platformed shoes. After almost 30 minutes of making up, I was ready to go!

It was a Sunday morning so I figured if I tell a lie, I could go to Church and ask for mercy and so I told a lie. I dialled Onus’ line. ‘Hey dude, wassup? (Shoot! Veronica warned me against calling him ‘dude’. Too tomboyish, she said. ‘If you don’t have the courage to say ‘babe’ then just call him his name’)

‘Hi Temilade, how are you doing?’

‘Good good. Onus, my car is having issues (I figured saying ‘issues’ made it less of a lie)  and I was wondering if you could come pick me up to Church or maybe Aunty Gbemi can drop me at yours on her way to her Church’.

‘No issues. I’ll come get you. 9:25 cool?

‘Yes. That’s fine’.

It was 9:05. So I spent the remaining 20 minutes refreshing my makeup . I added more blush then reduced it then added a little more. I dabbed on red lipstick thinking my nude colour was too boring. And then, I went to the living room and looked at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror for almost 3 minutes. Just as I was smiling at my reflection, a BBM came through. It was Onus telling me he was outside.

I quickly picked up my clutch and my Bible and jotter and almost tripped as I reached for the door. Mental note to self: you have to walk carefully in these instruments called heels. As I asked Musa, the gateman to open the door, I patted my hair down for the umpteenth time staring at my reflection in my little sister’s Picanto. Calmly, I walked to the gate and opened it to see Onus’ tinted red Mazda. I carefully navigated myself to the right hand side and opened the door ready to place my heeled left foot in. To my shock, a girl was seated there. Not just a girl, a beautiful girl. Onus had outdone himself this time.

I sheepishly proceeded to the back seat. I had to move an overnight bag in order to be able to sit properly. I also had to ask the girl to adjust her seat as my legs are quite long plus the heels added more inches. To make matters more awkward, the babe goes, ‘can you stretch out your legs to the back of Onus’ seat so that way you are less discomfited?’ Discomfited? Who uses such words except in books? I wonder internally.

After a few minutes of putting into action her suggestion, Onus says, ‘Lade, meet Ibiso, my girlfriend. Ibiso, this is Lade’. She turns around and gives me the brightest smile I have ever seen. ‘Hi Lade, I have heard so much about you’.

I was mute.

 

***

Disclaimer: *a piece of art on a lazy Friday morning*

Stay blessed!

Temiville.xoxo

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