Hello people,
How are ya? It’s been a really lovely weekend for me. Yes, I’m adding Monday and Tuesday to my weekend days though there was work on Monday for me. I saw movies on Friday (yep movieS-two of them (MIB3-total let-down and Dark Shadows-ok) to wait out the traffic. I went with a friend for his friend’s event and then another friend of his proceeded to pull my cheek as soon as we were introduced. I was livid but tried hard to contain and mask my irritation. Who does that? How can you be pulling someone’s cheeks? I’m genuinely confused. I understand that Children’s Day was just around the corner but odindin 5 9″ frame mi, getting cheek-pulled by a total stranger?! I didn’t like that one bit. I do know that I have cute come-pull-me cheeks but I’d appreciate a little bit of self restraint when we meet. Cheers *eyelashes*.
Ok, now to today’s post. I read this absolutely interesting post about a girl who had done absolutely all to get a man. I mean, she’d gone from church to church, attended events, started watching football, played manly games, all in a bid to pull a guy, all to no avail. Finally, she meets her dream man who was all the while, her next door neighbour! Her reaction when he proposed was totally hilarious. Read the story here: http://elizabethmartins.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/mr-anonymous/
Now, I have met a number of girls who do not miss any event. They always have this ‘this could be the day’ mindset and make sure they attend everything they get invited to, sometimes, even inviting themselves. They turn out looking dressed to murder. Short dress-check; sky high heels-check; hair-check; nails-check; bag-check. They are not hard to miss, according to my brother. You see them prancing around during the event, phone in hand, just in case ‘he bumps into her and they need to exchange pins’. They are and look desperate and desperate people make mistakes.
Desperate people are easy prey because desperation gives off a certain odour that is easily recognisable by a predator. I, honestly, do not see what the rush is about. It’s not about how quickly you marry but what you make of your marriage really. So instead of trying so hard to meet a guy why not spend time building yourself? You see 25 year olds who are not sure which direction their careers are heading worrying about when they’ll marry or why the guy they are dating has failed to propose. We forget: even after saying your vows, whatever problems you left unattended will still be there waiting for you when you get home. Only difference is they might have multiplied.
Now that’s not to say going out with the intention of meeting people is bad o no, but I think the emphasis, especially as a lady, should not be so much on looking like honey but being honey (if you get what I mean). On a random note though, how do people “meet people” in random short-term places like weddings, events, etc? I just don’t get. To the best of my memory’s limit, I have never met any guy that way. I would never give you my number, I would probably not even leave my seat to mingle so unless by Cupid’s doing, we are seated right beside each other, no chance! Anyways, different people have their area of gifting. Mine is certainly not mingling and mixing with new crowd. I just (usually) do not.
I think in the process of waiting, try and genuinely have a great time. Read books that build you up, read books on marriages, read books on people’s stories in marriage (the good, the bad and the ugly), read up on domestic violence and how some women AND men failed to see or accept the signs that they were about to fall into the hands of an abuser. Pray hard. Fast. Listen to your parents. They know more and love you enough to ensure you do not go astray. When you do meet someone (’cause you will…eventually), don’t go idolising him or her. Be nice, be good. Don’t make them pay for your ex’s crimes and wrongdoings but by all means, DO NOT act like you’ve just met Mr. or Miss The One so much that you forget to keep watching and praying.
If it works out and you do get married, keep watching and praying and being the best spouse you can be. If it doesn’t work out and he cheats, breaks up with you, starts dating your best friend, let it go and move on. Don’t act like your life is over, ’cause it really is not. God just helped you dodge a bullet. Think back on the relationship and do some self-analysis. Where you went wrong, learn and determine not to go that route again and for the things that went wrong due to no fault of yours, dust it off and let it go. Don’t slag off your ex. It gets so tempting to. Sometimes you will. But try and make a conscious effort not to. Remember, YOU chose him/her.
Paul urges us to be content in any circumstance we are in (Philippians 4:11). This cannot be done except by the power of God at work in our lives. In our natural, carnal state, we are simply not capable of having peace and serenity when things in our life seem so uncertain. However, through Christ, we are able to have peace, the type that defies understanding. Isaiah 49:23 says “They shall not be ashamed who wait for me.” I believe this means that although our patience on the Lord’s timing may seem foolish to those around us, and even to ourselves at times, God has assured us that we will not be put to shame by waiting on Him. What a relief! His Word also tells that those who “wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles.” (Isaiah 40:31).
Like my older married friends would say, enjoy your singleness, serve God as much possible, do stuff, go to the beach with friends, have as much alone time as you can get because a time is coming when all these might become luxury.
You that would usually have just yourself to worry about now have to add on a husband and child. Back in school, you eat when you want and when you are feeling lazy, it’s Indomie or you sleep like that, now you cannot, you have to get up and sort something out. You can’t expect your brothers and parents to sort stuff out for you anymore, you’ll be a full fledged adult *goosebumps*.
So inasmuch as marriage does have its really amazing sides which I TERRIBLY look forward to, I’ve made up my mind to absolutely enjoy my days as Miss Temiville and I strongly advise that all other single ladies AND gentlemen too join me in this resolve. And that my, beautiful people, is the end of my rant. I have much more to say, but I shall save it for another day.
Have a lovely week ahead (what’s left of it).
Temiville.xoxo
May 29, 2012 @ 22:31:16
Miss Temiville dear, dis is fantastic. More gric 2 ur elbow. Love u.
May 29, 2012 @ 22:34:19
love u too sis.xoxo
May 29, 2012 @ 22:31:21
Thanks for sharing this. However, i dont think there is anything wrong in mingling with people at an event/exchanging phone numbers. There are other benefits aside from having a relationship. I dont go out much. Am an indoor person, never had a girlfriend and still searching (though not desperately) for ‘miss’ right at 30!!!
May 29, 2012 @ 22:33:43
Hi Ade, I totally agree. Nothing wrong but better when not borne of a desperate need to meet The One. Nothing wrong in searching at 30! Keep praying and He will lead you aright!
May 29, 2012 @ 22:42:07
‘If It doesn’t work out…start dating your best friend”
May 29, 2012 @ 22:48:26
Well said :).
Not to sound cliche but there’s a song lyric which goes along the lines of ‘I didn’t know I was looking for love until I found you’ and I believe that’s the best state to find love. Like you said, its better to take you time and work on you first, the reason God hasn’t given you someone yet is because His still moulding you for that right person! So sit back, do you and he/she will come around when the time is right, and in the meantime, make the best of your freedom and have a good time…
Enjoy!
May 29, 2012 @ 23:42:43
lol…@ the guy that pulled your cheeks.. I cant laff.. I found myself laughing my head off.. I thought that was what Niaja adults did to children..lmfo…
I cant imagine someone doing that to me, i.e. a total stranger. I would have dodged at the sight of ur hand towards my face and maybe even made a little remark as in….. but perhaps in a jokey way though, not too embrace him too much or come across harsh)although, sometimes I can be pretty straightforward).
I think he was having a jolly good day and he could not resist those berry plumped cheeks.. lool..
I enjoyed the article as always
.http://lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/
xxxx
May 30, 2012 @ 01:18:47
@Temiville: I’ll give a big hug when I meet you. I love yo! Lool. Being desperate for companionship is not worth it. My folks and friends cant understand why I’m not in a hurry to be in a relationship at 30, with my good looks and amiability.
May 30, 2012 @ 01:37:11
Miss Temville….you are as a matter of veracity cum candour, one of my best writer. Your phraseology and zany semantics in writing is second to none. Welldone!!! I really enjoyed this missive more than a bowl of amala and obe efo (lol). This is effulgent and thought provokingly resplendent. As much as your context is marriage specific….i have applied the compendium of your message beyond marriage.
God bless you for this….hmmmm, enjoy your singleness ooo, cos we are soon coming to snatch you. Hope you know the “we”?
Warm Regards
Justin
May 30, 2012 @ 02:59:42
Nice read, Temi. May GOD continue to fill you, to overflowing, with wisdom. Had a good laugh as I imagined your immediate reaction to the cheek deal
May 30, 2012 @ 03:05:01
Oga, which levels, na? You be Engirish tisha? Haba, relax, na. Even our dictionaries are protesting to this nonstop consultation.
May 30, 2012 @ 03:39:59
Very nice post Temi. Totally agree wit you on all counts. 🙂
May 30, 2012 @ 10:57:26
lovely Temi. Been a while. Totally agree with u.
I started this year by going on a personal retreat (which i have decided to make quarterly anyways). I appraise myself based on some self developmental goals and targets i set for myself -spiritual, physical, social etc. For example, I have a June target to buy my violin which my violin teacher says i must own to enable me learn faster, I have a Read a Book a week challenge (i struggle there to be honest!), a friend and I are starting a mini fellowship for working girls in June by God’s grace, my self-development focus aims to focus on any topic i am ignorant about (right now, its understanding how men think) and I’m looking forward to my end of June retreat as I thank God i have been able to achieve quite a bit this quarter-all by grace! yay
My point: There are a 1million and 1 things single men and women can do with their lives – while waiting on God. Life is really beautiful 🙂
May 31, 2012 @ 12:18:39
The best things in life come to those who wait on God and are content to have him as their companion in the expectation that as long as they remain faithful to him through his word, he would surely lead them into his perfect will.The father of error is desperation and the mother is impatience. As soon as your life reeks of desperation, destiny-destroying error is round the corner.Unfortunately,the Holy Spirit who was left with us to keep us from error is regarded as no more than a phantom by many people.He is the only one who can give you sufficient rest in the fact that as long as you have committed your marital future into God’s hands through prayer and you are content with seeking the kingdom of God and its righteousness,God will surely lead you into his perfect will
Another failing of many nowadays is the fact that success and failure is still judged by the present.This just shows that we still do not listen when God speaks through those who have gone ahead of us.If we listen,we would understand the fact that contrary to the mindset many of us have,getting married is not an end but the beginning of a new phase of fulfilling divine purpose. Getting married is just the beginning and the mere fact that someone got married before you does not mean his beginning was right.The concentration should be more on seeking God’s kingdom and its righteousness through living for his purpose and you will see that he knows far more about marriage than you do.Concentrate on staying in your own lane in the Race of life cuz at the end of the day,it is not of him that wills 2 marry or one that runs into marriage but of God who has mercy on the couple and gives his blessing.Let God guide and lead. If he could lead your parents who had only scraps of moral values as yardsticks of getting married,why won’t he lead you who has the opportunity of knowing what his word says?? Abide by godly principles in all areas of your life,continually fellowship with God and watch God lead you to the spouse he has prepared for you
May 31, 2012 @ 12:24:28
more on seeking God’s kingdom and its righteousness through living for his purpose and you will see that he knows far more about marriage than you do.Concentrate on staying in your own lane in the Race of life cuz at the end of the day,it is not of him that wills 2 marry or one that runs into marriage but of God who has mercy on the couple and gives his blessing.Let God guide and lead. If he could lead your parents who had only scraps of moral values as yardsticks of getting married,why won’t he lead you who has the opportunity of knowing what his word says?? Abide by godly principles in all areas of your life,continually fellowship with God and watch God lead you to the spouse he has prepared for you
Jun 01, 2012 @ 09:20:02
I really love your blog Temi, you write so well and you speak the truth. I only wished you bogged more often, but i understand its not easy! Good job anyway!. Trust me when I say your blog touches a lot of people. God bless You!
Jun 01, 2012 @ 10:28:43
God bless you too Anne!!! Thank you! I’ll try to blog more often. x
Jun 01, 2012 @ 10:17:17
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Jun 07, 2012 @ 16:32:31
You hit the nail right on the head! Now-a-days girls my age (around 21) are seriously seriously man hunting. I am not saying I am not either, but I really do take singleness as a blessing. A time to develop my weaknesses and discover my strengths. I love your blog btw 🙂
RennyVonne.com
Jun 14, 2012 @ 18:52:12
God save you sha. I was going to write this off as an attempt to sound blase maybe after some bad experiences, but you redeemed the write-up towards the end. Nice one.
Oct 09, 2013 @ 18:19:23
hi Temmy. Welcome back to blogging, I missed u. Really. Like u, I wouldn’t go around mingling.;i’m jus too shy to take dat step. Ok to d point. I read dis post when it was first posted, and I was in agreement with what you wrote (considering i’m enjoying and living d single sisters life wella @25) , fast forward till last week, i’ve jus been tired of the single life (i dunoo why), i’ve been feeling jus there, tired (i dont even av words. do u ever come to a point where ure like; bobo where art thou? that is d feeling i’m having) so I jus got in now, and went thru ur latest post, got here and I guess God jus directed me to d ‘waiting on God post’, i’ve read isaiah 49:23 and its so apt. i’m grateful God has used u to talk to me today. Have a lovely night, and I pray u get d job just reserved for u. Amen