Gracing the Catwalk

The story of Esther was told in a new dimension on Sunday at TPH by Mrs Rapu. I was intrigued by the way she explained the story in a way that I had never even thought of before.

King Ahasuerus reigned over one hundred and twenty-seven provinces, from India to Ethiopia (Esther 1). He was an extremely wealthy king and his wealth was acknowledged by all. He decided to show off his wealth and possessions. After showing off all he could, he decide to have his wife, the beautiful Queen Vashti parade her beauty in the presence of all his guests which included kings and princes of other kingdoms, principalities and provinces. But as the story goes, Vashti was busy entertaining other women and doing her own thing. She decided to defy the king’s authority and refused to comply with his wishes. This got the king very mad at her and his advisers immediately decided to advise him to have her dethroned and replaced.

Today, we study the story of Esther not from the point of the beautiful and obedient Esther but from that of Vashti, the queen who got comfortable, who relaxed and who forgot that her husband was the king who issues a decree and it gets established or you get punished. Imagine this analogy whereby God is our King Ahasuerus and we are his bride. The world in which we live is the catwalk. He wants us to go around parading our beauty: our obedience to His words, our love for others and generally our beauty. He wants the world to see out behaviours and ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ over how well put together we are, over how good natured we are, over how kind we are, our level of patience, joy, peace, long suffering, meekness,  humility, respect, etc.

But do we answer His call? Are we Vashtis, blatantly ignoring the call of our King, busy with life? Are we already too familiar with God, believing God will understand, He is love and His mercies endure forever forgetting that the same Lamb is a Lion and the same Lover of our souls is a Consuming Fire? Have we started taking grace for granted quoting Romans 5:20, ‘²⁰Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound’ whilst totally ignoring what follows shortly in Romans 6:1-‘What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid.’

Have we grown so accustomed to sinning with the plan to ask for forgiveness afterwards? Who do we think we deceive? God cannot be mocked. God cannot be fooled. He knows all. He sees all.

 

This life is a catwalk. The roads on which we drive are catwalks. Our workplaces are catwalks. Our homes are catwalks. Our relationships are catwalks. We have the opportunity to daily represent God and make Him proud as He points us out: ‘There goes Ijeoma doing my will’, ‘Look at Rita making me proud’, ‘Watch as Damola handles that situation with love’. We need to have this thought on our minds everywhere we go.

But there is a truth I have come to discover: by strength shall no man prevail. Many a time I have listened to a sermon that had me charged in my spirit and then I vow to work hard as ever to be as good as ever. As soon as I wake up and start my day, things fly in my face that absolutely FRUSTRATE me and before I can say Caramel Latte three times, I’m already back to my normal fleshly ways and I get even more frustrated that I could not hold on to my vow for up to 4 waking hours. That was in my days of ignorance, my days of thinking I have the power to do good in me. No I don’t. I need grace. I need strength. And all these, I can only get from God. We need to lean on God and on His ever sufficient grace as we grace the catwalk of life.

That is the irony of walking with God. You don’t do much walking. He practically carries you all the way. You need, however, to realize that you are weak and you need help and you will be surprised at the way He will rush in and help you.

I pray God will carry on strengthening us in this walk so that we do not fall and disgrace the designer…

Have a great day people.

Did I tell you guys I’m a bridesmaid this Saturday?!!! Well, I am going to be a bridesmaid and I wish the lovely couple a great day and more importantly a happy and fulfilling marriage.

Temiville.xoxo

Watch those seeds!

Hey folks,

It’s Wednesday! This year is flying by mehnnn! I shall be off to do my fitting for my bridesmaid’s outfit in a while. Can’t wait! It’s going to be an amazing weekend. I feel it in my bones. Oh by the way, I lost a few kilos…I think 0.85 not too sure sha. But I am celebrating every progress! Free me!

So the tailor is on the mainland. When I gave my measurement out, I added a few inches here and there. I’d rather the dress be too big than too small. I can’t stand tight, ill-fitting dresses. I do hope it turns out too big! I shall be exceedingly happy to have it slimmed down to my size.

I saw ‘My name is Khan’ yesterday and I wept! I was pre-warned but that didn’t help. It’s a beautiful movie and you should see it too.

Now to my post of the day…enjoy!

***

Give, even when it seems hard. I’ve looked closely. Most people who have, give. They might not give to all and sundry. But they always channel their resources somewhere.

The company where I work is an example-millions of dollars go out each year as charitable contribution and yet, they are thriving in the midst of the recession. The young boy who gave out his loaves and fishes must have gotten a lot back when so many baskets were left over. I’m sure even the thieving Judas would have allowed him have at least 1 basket for his trouble.

The law of sowing and reaping is as long as time itself. In Genesis 8: 22, the Bible says, “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” It is a law. It is a principle. It works for both believers and unbelievers. Galatians 6:7 says “Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”

Aside of money/material things to which we usually attribute this law, let’s look at things in life generally. The Bible says that a man with friends must show himself friendly, Proverbs 18:24.

You don’t call people and then you wonder why upon getting back from work after forgetting your phone at home, you have no missed call, no text message, no tweet mentions, just 4 BB messages which turned out to be disappointing broadcasts, 3 of which were the same. This is only to be expected. You have to sow concern, love, care, calls, texts into people’s lives to receive them back.

I have this friend, let’s call her ‘Oghene’. Oghene has so many many friends it’s unbelievable. I later found out her secret. Oghene is so caring it’s unbelievable. She spent a few days at mine and I was humbled by how many phone calls she made, some for few seconds ‘just to check up on you’ type of calls but they clearly went a long way. Her phone likewise didn’t stop ringing. From one call to one BBM to one text. She has also mastered the art of leaving her phone aside to get things done and then getting back to people.

The other day, I was having a chat with a mutual friend of Oghene and I and we were saying how Oghene’s wedding will end up being like a carnival because so many people would go out of their ways to celebrate with her. This is the principle of sowing and reaping at work. It is applicable to respect, regard etc.

The interesting thing with sowing is that that the law of multiplication applies: you tend to get more than you gave. If you sow bad stuff, the bad stuff you receive back will overwhelm you. A few seeds of orange make a big tree yielding lots of fruit. Watch what you sow.

Do you sow discord amongst friends or do you seek to douse disagreements? Do you sow love wherever you go or do you have an acidic attitude? If you have a rash/brash attitude and still have loads of friends, it is likely you have something they want and are willing to endure and put up with your excesses just to acquire it. Once they’re done, they’re gone! I pray God helps us in this area.

The book of Samuel is quite an eye opening read and there are so many things I am gathering from it. I can’t wait to do a proper series on it!

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

PS: forgive any disjointedness as the unedited workings of my overactive mind!

I love the life He gave me

Hi people, How is it going? How have you guys been? I want to use this opportunity to say a huge ‘THANK YOU’ to all of you. I appreciate your views and comments. They are all truly inspiring and I learn from them each day.

Regarding my last post on the use of human hair, I have decided that I shall soak my purchases in the Blood of Jesus. A friend of mine BB-ed me after reading the post and said ‘Temi, I was going sow some packs of 12 inch Brazilian hair into your life but after reading your post, I don’t think you’ll want them’. My people, I protested! Lol. Stop am, I said. Anyways, like Abiola summed up, it is a conviction based thing. I pray over it, I fix it. No demon can dwell in me or on me. I am covered in Jesus’ blood. Please, if you are having guilty pangs upon leaving the salon after fixing your hair, please remove it o-may be you are being convicted otherwise. Remember, do not silence the Spirit speaking to you by looking at someone else’s story or lifestyle. I do not always condone relativity-but in gray/grey areas like these, I think ‘to each his own is my motto’. The same goes for things like wearing trousers as a woman etc. Do you and I do me but Modesty is always the way forward, I strongly believe.

***

This past week was quite trying for me on different levels. Challenges arose in my dealings with people that threatened to shake me. I looked unto God for assistance and He is coming through for me-I say ‘coming through’ as it is a process. It is very important to learn people relations. The interesting thing is this: you never graduate from this particular course. You undergo different modules but the course is a lifelong one. Sometimes you get the test and then you learn the lesson after other times, if you are lucky, you learn and then you get tested on what you have been taught. Last week, the former was my story.

I was faced with the issues and I just had to deal with them the best ways I knew how and now God is teaching me how I could have been better. I run a non-anonymous blog and this limits how open I can be on personal matters which involve other people but I shall try to share the lessons without the details of the experience as much as possible.

Lessons Learned

-In life, people will offend you and you will also offend people.

Whichever side of the divide you fall, patience, calmness and tact can NEVER fail you. Even when you know without any figment of doubt that you are in the right, keep calm and hear the other party out.

When I say hear them out, I do not simply mean just that. I mean listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. even if you think it’s from the dungeon. Just try and…let’s say ‘empathise’. Try and get them. Why are they thinking like this? Why is this their reality? How could I possibly have helped them formed this reality? Could their understanding of what is be in any form or shape true? How can I help things become better?

This helps build and strengthen relationships. Being defensive breaks relationships and if you are dealing with certain types of people, it could break the relationship irreparably. Try and be the bigger person as much as you can help it.

-Be clear on what you can or cannot do.

Never be ambiguous. But as you do so, do it with wisdom and love and not rashly or brashly. Like it is said, some people will tell you to go to hell in such a sweet way, you will search for the train times there. Even when saying no to people, you don’t have to say it like a Cruella D’evil. Obviously, this lesson is situation/circumstance-dependent. If you are in a relationship and you are saying no to a guy/girl going too far, I don’t think too much sweetness is necessary (I shall expatiate in another post).

-Always have this thought somewhere at the back of your mind: I might be wrong.

Always speak in a manner whereby if you find out that you were wrong all along, you would not look like a fool or a big fool (depending on if you are an OBJ or an IBB).

-Be assertive.

In life, people seek to take advantage of others. Don’t be a victim-not unless this is a conscious art of ‘playing the fool’.

-Learn to say (and mean) ‘I’m sorry’. Conversely, learn to accept others’ apologies to you.

Don’t be the type who people need to go through various stages in order to be truly forgiven by you. Yes, with some people, merely saying I’m sorry would not cut it. Tyou need to grovel and beg for their mercy. you need to explain what it is that you are sorry for, giving good reasons why you are wrong and swearing never to repeat it again. Trust me, with some people, forgiveness needs to be earned. Thank God God is not man sha.

–Most importantly, be in constant communication with the Holy Spirit.

Never act or speak on impulse. Think. Consult with the Holy Spirit on your choice of words. When sending a message as a response (avoid this as much as possibly), read it over and over AND over and imagine you are sending to a large audience. I pray God will continually give us guidance in this world.

I came across this song and video and I think it is really beautiful and encouraging especially the video. 

No matter what you are going through, love and appreciate the life God has given you. Don’t take your life. Don’t think of taking your life. Whilst some have it better than you, loads more have it worse. I’m not trying to console you but be thankful for and appreciate what you have as you prayerfully ask God for better.

Have a lovely week ahead.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

What kind of human hair have you got on?

What have you got on? Brazilian/Peruvian/Indian Hair?
Hi people,
How is it going? My week has been filled with all manners of emotions-all manners I say. I attended the funeral service yesterday but didn’t have the heart to go w ith them to the cemetery. Bloody sad is what it is. But like I am quick to add, no matter what, let us lead death-ready lives, day in day out. As you sleep, though we say ‘I shall not die but live’, be prepared for eternity all the time. Never for one minute slack on your walk with God. It is not always going to be easy but his grace is surely sufficient to see us through.

 

I attended Wednesday service at the Water brook in Oriental yesterday and it was Pastor Tony Rapu himself that ministered. It was so interesting and there was a lot to learn from him. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The only thing was that I had to strain my ears to hear him sometimes as he speaks very softly.
Today, I want to seek your opinion on an issue that worries/bothers/intrigues me: human hair.

These days, everywhere you turn, of 10 females; at least 3 have on another human being’s hair on her head. It has evolved from being a fashion statement to a basic commodity of life. It is just natural to fix Brazilian these days. So natural is it that they even come in lengths as short as 8 inches so you get a very ‘realistic’ look from it.
The other day, I was having a conversation with a male friend after seeing a documentary on the BBC about where the hair comes from, the gods to whom they are dedicated and the process of actually sourcing these hairs from the head of the original owner to the packs that are now sold at exorbitant prices. To say that I was shocked is to put it mildly. Here is  a summary of the documentary’s findings.
It is no breaking news that Indians practice idolatry and it is to their gods that they sacrifice their hair by shaving it off as a sign of reverence. It is then this offering that is washed and packaged and then sold on to the end users.

What exactly am I saying? I have seen people (deliverance ministers) who claim that demons from these gods hide themselves in the hair. Remember, the hair was sacrificed to them and as such they have a legal right to it. As soon as you fix it on your head, they latch themselves you. Even long after taking it off, they remain a constant fixture in your life.  During the period you have it fixed on, for instance, when you attend a job interview, instead of seeing your glory and abilities, all the interviewer sees is the demon on you and this leads to all manners of lost opportunities because another’s destiny is laid upon you. We all know the significance of the head right?

 

Well if you didn’t let me quickly attempt an explanation:
The head is the most important part of a man’s body (spiritually). When a baby is born and the elders want to pray for the child, they lay their hands on its head. When you grow up and you need to be prayed for, you kneel down and the person praying lays his hands on your head. It is a channel of blessing. Even the Bible speaks on the laying on of hands in order to spread the anointing. When David was to be anointed king, it was on his head oil was poured. See also, ‘Take thou the anointing oil, and pour it upon the head of Aaron, and anoint him’ (Exod. 29:7; 30:30). You remember Psalm 23? Thou anointest my head with oil? Those are just a few examples. Even Yorubas will say:

For good: Olori ire-fortunate one. Literal translation: he who has a head of blessings

For bad: Olori buruku-unfortunate one. Literal translation: he who has a head of misfortune

Therefore, what you place on your head is without doubt, very important. By using human hair, are we falling for the devil’s gimmicks to erode our destinies? Or is it only for mere aesthetics? If we condemn this, do we not also condemn the act of vintage thrifting for example as you are basically putting on what another person has put on before? Could we even be wild in our imagination and condemn buying used cars too? Or heart transplant perhaps?
Can we buy these human hairs and soak it in the Blood of Jesus asking for His blood to purify it and cleanse it from any attachment to evil powers and forces?

What is your take on the use of human hair?

PS: I presently have on 18”, 16” and 14” Brazilian hair so I dare not judge.

Temiville.xoxo

Death!

Death!

I’m not afraid of dying. I really am not. But I guess what worries me is what will happen after. How it will be when I get to heaven (yes keh, I am sahtainly going there). Will it be scary with all sorts of strange beings aka angels? Will God be so big and huge and look so intimidating with His big feet that cover the earth or will He really be like one of us? Will I see David and ride along to his mansion? How shall we transport ourselves within the borders of Heaven? Is there a real life there or will we worship all day. What will Jesus look like? Is he tall? Does he have an accent like Benjamin Netanyahu or will He be able to blend with me easily?

How will it be really? What is death? What is life? What what what?

A high school mate died less than 2 days ago and I am still in a state of shock. I don’t know exactly how old he was but I can bet he was 26 years old max. Now he is gone.

Aside of the shock of it all, I began to ponder: what does life really mean? What is death? Where does it all end? Does it all end?

Young people are dying this year, it is alarming. Let’s pray for protection. Aside of this, let’s pray for our souls-that we may not be lost. That God’s power will be real in our lives. That without shame, we shall stand for Christ till our dying day. As I type, my fingers are cold-not out of fear but out of the re-realization that life is fickle, is fleeting, is transient, means little.

I want it that whenever our Maker deems it fit to call us home, we are ready. Let us be able to say each moment without doubt that if we die today, we are going straight to heaven, with the hosts of heaven standing at attention to welcome us home.

Rest in Peace, K.I. You were always the calm one. You deserve peace.

God bless you guys.

Temiloluwa.xoxo

My boyfriend and his ex are best friends!

Quick Question:

My boyfriend and his ex are best friends!

Ok, so on a jealousy scale of 1-10, I would rate myself 1 as I hardly get jealous. I’m very friendly, open, understanding and so it is easy for me to let things slide. It has worked for me in the past as I build so much trust in my relationships and for some reason, none of my 3 exes cheated on me (not that I found out anyway). Maybe there is this law of ‘Labeling and The Self-fulfilling Prophecy’ that takes place whereby because a guy knows that you trust him, he does not want to let you down. The point however is I’m a trusting girl and I’m a fun and free person so I don’t give any guy close marking and this has worked for me in the past. I have loads of friends and prefer having a life outside my relationship so I’m generally not clingy.

***

I started dating Okechukwu in February and frankly, I have nothing wrong to report regarding the way he treats me. He is everything I have wanted in a man and I won’t even bother trying to list out his many virtues. I love and appreciate him. There is one issue however: his ex, Lillian.

They broke up in 2009 after 2 years of dating. As soon as they broke it off, they both started dating other people but by early 2010, they were back together only to break up again in October of the same year. But since their ‘break up’, nothing much has changed in respect of the frequency of their contact and in fact,  their friendship seems to have gone stronger.

I didn’t know either of them until New Years’ Day this year where I met Okechukwu at a mutual friend’s party so a lot of the initial information I got was based on ‘gist’. My friend, Salewa who knew them from living in Omole Estate with them gave me stories of how tight they were and how no one can really put their fingers on any changes in the way they relate since their breakup. It is as though nothing had happened.

Now, let’s disregard all the gist I have heard and focus on what I have seen with my own eyes. Lillian and his three sisters are practically best of friends. They all went to QC together and so were friends even before Okechukwu started dating her. In fact, as you probably guessed, they met through his sisters and her frequent visits to their home back in the day. This was since 1996 so basically, Lillian has known their family for 15 years. They have all blended in nicely so much so that their parents are friends too.

I have several instances of where their ‘harmless closeness’ has gotten on my last nerve. For instance, there was a day I came to Okechukwu’s as early as 9 am on a Saturday as we were supposed to attend my cousin’s wedding together only for me to find Lillian vacuuming the living room in her night gown, her REVEALING night gown. His sisters too were doing one chore or the other in their nighties too which probably were revealing as well but still, all I could see was Lillian and her indecent look. I couldn’t help having a frown all the way to the church. I later found out that sleepovers are the norm with them and her parents, once they find out that she is with the Ezes would not even bother about her anymore. I was less than pleased with this revelation. I told Okechukwu and all he could say is that they are more than exes, they are family friends too and that I should stop seeing her as Lillian, his ex girlfriend and more like Lillian, his sisters’ friend and their tight family friend. 

I don’t know why but this bothers me a whole lot. She is single as we speak and I know how they went back to each other even when they had both ‘moved on’ into other relationships. Aside of being family friends, they are close friends. They call each other about everything. We would be together and bang!, she would call him to rant about her car AC that is not getting so cold anymore. He too has made some calls to her in my  presence that makes me reel in anger. The other day, he called her to moan about his monthly targets at work and how he is yet to meet them. They talk about the most important things; they talk about the most mundane things. And all these scare me. I have this feeling that I am deceiving myself and that they will still get back together.

His dad, mom and sisters are all very nice to me. But they have a different type of relationship with Lillian. Lillian is an only child and is practically like their fourth daughter. They laugh with her, share so many memories, they know all the people they gist about (which I have absolutely no idea about). They know each others’ relatives and vice versa, his mom scolds her like one of the girls and sometimes the girls even fight like sisters do. All these worry me a great  deal and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I know he cares for me but I don’t know how I can be totally at peace with such a strong bond between them.

On my birthday last month, he got me the most amazing and thoughtful gift ever. I was so impressed with it but as soon as I found out that Lillian picked it out for me, I immediately hated it. He got mad at me for my reaction and said I have to accept that Lillian is like his sister and it was as good as his sister picking out a present for me. I didn’t think so. I don’t think so.

I could go on and on about how tightly knit their little clan is, how Lillian features in so many pictures in their family album from when she was just a teenager,  how she has loads of pictures wearing aso ebi with them, how even on their dad’s iPad, her pictures are littered everywhere under ‘Kids’ folder, how his mom can call her to help her buy something and bring it over to theirs (they live a few streets from each other in Omole Estate) without thinking about it twice, how she picks up their landline and almost every time I have witnessed this, she knew the person calling and they gisted for a while before passing the phone to whomever was being called, how his parents contributed towards her grandma’s burial. It is actually upsetting. I feel very irritated by it all but he seems to think I’m being unreasonable and jealous.

I don’t really say more than ‘hi’ to her though she seems to be going out of her way to be nice to me. I feel she is being condescending as though she sees my discomfort with the whole situation and takes pleasure in it. I feel as though at the end of the day, I will be the fool.

What do I do?

 

That was the question I promised to post yesterday. What are your thoughts on this guys?

NB: Not my personal story… 😀

Temiville.xoxo

Wisely behaved

Hello people,

Thank you for all your responses concerning Molade’s situation. They have all been very enlightening. Today, I have another question to pose but before I do so, I want to give you a quick summary of my weekend.

On Friday, after work, I hung out with a friend and had random convos. On Saturday, my mom and I went to Ogba to look for a tailor as yours truly cannot really boast of having traditional outfits. The ones I have have all been well worn.  We found one tailor there and the dude is charging me 4k for a dress and a blazer. I think that’s pretty cheap. It’s way better than the 8-10k Island tailors charge so as long as dude delivers, he is going to be my new tailor. This is very similar to the style I picked. It is 60s inspired but the skirt of mine is fuller so they’ll be putting that net thingy inside. Forgive my lack of familiarity with all the fashion lingo.

I also bumped into a dear friend. She was an e-friend until Saturday. She is one of my blog readers with whom I exchange emails and she recognized me in the market! It was absolutely amazing seeing her. From relating with her over the months, I have learned a lot and I am so glad to have finally put a face to the name.

There was a Fundraiser held for Kechi Okwuchi on Saturday. Although I was unable to attend, I learned that it was successful and at least half of the required amount has been raised already. This is really great news. I trust God will perfect His healing on her and give the surgeons the wisdom to carry out the procedure. Please visit her website here and help donate whatever you can. Nothing is too small.

On Sunday, I went to church and we were taught from the story of Isaac, Esau and Jacob and about how Esau lost his birthright due to the fact that he placed more value on immediate gratification as opposed to future benefits. I’ll blog about that soon.

Later in the evening, I watched Big Brother Finals at a friend’s and saw Luclay get robbed of his win. I’m sorry but Wendall? I’m still confused.  Just before bed, I was reading my 1 Samuel and then came across something that really had me thinking.

In 1 Samuel, we are introduced to young David who bravely volunteered to fight the giant that had even the trained soldiers frightened. Upon his victory over Goliath,  David was dining with royalty. Saul took him in as a member of the royal household as we are told in 1 Samuel 18:2. The king’s son and heir to the throne, Jonathan, loved him as a brother, 1 Samuel 18:3 and he also became commander-in-chief of  Saul’s armies (1 Samuel 18:5). These were enough to make him get carried away and begin to misbehave but the bible repeated it 3 times that David behaved himself wisely.

And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 1 Samuel 18:5 (KJV)

And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the LORD was with him. 1 Samuel 18:14 (KJV)

Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him. 1 Samuel 18:15 (KJV)

When we assume a small position of leadership or authority, how do we behave ourselves? Do we get so consumed with our new found fame and glory, forgetting our humble beginnings? It is important that no matter how elevated we are, we stay grounded. This is the only way we can maintain the position bestowed on us and even climb higher. Never let it get to your head. It can fly away as quickly as it came so stay grateful and humble.

Just thought to share.

Have a fab month!

Temiville.xoxo