For the sake of peace, I have endured much. I dated you and all was well until the 13 month when I started keeping mute ‘for the sake of peace’. You would snap at me for no reason. I would beg for your forgiveness for getting sad that you hurt me. You would ignore me for days and ask me to go and ‘think about whether I am truly ready to be a wife and mother’. You would point out that a good woman is a strong woman and not overly sensitive about non-issues. I would promise to be this good woman for you, for us. Never did I point out that a bit of improvement on your part would go a long way in helping our relationship as well. What was interesting is that you are younger than I by 13 months and I am naturally a strong willed woman. But with you, I became a shadow of my true self.

Before purchasing any clothing, I would imagine how you would look at me in them. If I felt you would hate it, I would drop it. I sought your approval like a little puppy with its owner. I abandoned my friends and family who all thought I was in ‘love land’. Hmm…love land? I was in horror lane. We only looked good in public. You would speak with your friends and colleagues for ages and with me, it was a mumble or two. But you hid it well. Well enough that the average person admired our relationship and longed for one like ours. Be careful what you wish for people. Not all is as it seems.

On the 29th and 30th of April 2011, we got married. My heart was heavy but I masked it well. Especially on the day of our engagement, I knew I was walking into a trap. But how was I to turn back? How was I to give up now? So I danced like I had just won a jackpot. I swayed from side to side, turned around and went down. I was the perfect bride. I was beautiful. I looked happy. It’s like God gave me one last chance to avoid a lifetime of pain. After all the guests had left on the engagement day, I called your phone, you didn’t pick and neither did you call me back and I really had to give you the ring you had forgotten with me. The groom should be with the ring!

Truth is, anyone could have delivered the ring to you. Even my father would have been happy to go to yours to hand-deliver it. But I chose instead to go myself. I got to your parents’ house where you stayed that weekend and you still weren’t there. I handed over the ring to your sister and made my way home. I kept calling you till 1 am when you picked up and immediately shouted, ‘Woman, why are you trailing me?!’ I explained why I had been calling and you replied that that was just an excuse and I could have given anyone or even waited till the next day. You went on and on, saying you would not take this kind of behaviour, you were at the club with your people and found it embarrassing that your friend had to tell him to go out to pick. Apparently, they had all witnessed it as you deliberately ignored each call since 10:00pm.

The next day, I married you anyway. I walked down the aisle with my father and he handed me over to you…


Watch out for Part 2!