Just one is not enough mehn!

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It’s Friday again!!!

To be honest, I’m really not one of those who get particularly excited about Fridays. Truth is, it feels good to have a good lie in on a Saturday but that hardly happens for me so what’s to be so excited about? I will still wake up at 5 am tomorrow. I will still get out of the house at 6 to join the jogging group. I will still study so yeah, thank God it’s Friday but aint nothing special.  Just not to sound too anti-TGIF, I took it upon myself to bring you some interesting TGIFriday photos. Enjoy…

This though, lol

I don’t know if I have mentioned this already but I’ll go ahead and let it out: Wednesdays at TPH are amazing!!! This Wednesday, I really did not feel like going to Church. I just wanted to chill. I wanted to do anything but go to Church. To make Church look even longer, I was going to have to stroll down to the Dome (it’s only about 10 minutes’ walk but still). After much internal debate, I carried my Bible and started my waka to TPH. That, my dear readers, was a decision I really thank God for helping me make. By the way, whenever there’s something good you need to do but you find yourself struggling, like Nike, just do it. It will end up being a very wise decision. This pertains especially to things like giving (to charity, paying your tithes, giving a more generous offering), going to Church, praying before getting up, calling a friend who just pops on your mind etc.

So I went to Church and took a seat and since we had been told that Pastor Rapu would be ministering, I was waiting patiently for one deep, ‘ooh ahh hmm’ inspiring message. But what happened was totally of a different dimension. It was worship all through! I mean worship all through. No, ‘let’s open our Bibles to… as service is about to start’. Worship was service. Service WAS worship. It was amazing!

Another side note: there was something on my mind as worship went on and it threatened to hinder my ability to go into His presence and stay there. I kept looking at my phone waiting for this call and I was sooo distracted. Note of advice: when you are expecting a call or worried about someone or something, if you, like me, don’t have enough strength to cast it aside and focus solely on God, pray to God for grace, excuse yourself, go outside,  make that call, come back in, put that phone on ‘All alerts off’ and FOCUS. No use trying to be strong when you’re not.

What Pastor Rapu spoke on after the service ended is worthy of a separate post and I will do just that soon. Here is a brief introduction however:

Idolatry must be stamped down upon. You cannot serve two masters. Idols are not just the Baals, the Sangos, the Mammons (money). It is way broader that those. Just as the prophets of Baal were disgraced by their god in the book of Kings, so will anything you ‘worship’ except God end up disgracing you. I identified at least three idols I was battling with which God is now helping me deal with. Identify yours today, acknowledge your weakness in addressing them and ask for the grace to overcome them. God help us all. Amen.

On a random note…So my friend and I were doing some domestic financial analysis the other day, here goes…

In Nigeria today, for a young person with a bit of work experience (between 1year-4 years’ experience)

-an okay job is one that you earn N150,000-N200,000

-a good job = N250,000-N400,000

-a great job = N500,000-N750,000

-a marvelous and amazing, worthy of testimony on a thanksgiving Sunday job = N800,000-N1.5M

-an ‘it’s a lie, it’s not possible, I don’t believe until I see the pay slip’ job= N2M and above.

Now, let’s imagine a scenario whereby you have a great job and you earn 500k per month. You are also married and you have 2 kids. Let’s do a quick but rough estimation of expenses incurred annually/monthly leading a relatively middle class lifestyle (the middle class is blurred in Naij to be honest).

Quick Info

Dictionary definition of Middle class: a class of people intermediate between the classes of higher and lower social rank or standing; the social, economic, cultural class, having approximately average status, income, education, tastes, and the like. 2. the class traditionally intermediate between the aristocratic class and the labouring class).

(I came up with most of these figures but they are as close to reality as you can get)

-your kids (Aramide and Ese as you are Delta and you marry Yoruba, hehehe) are 4 and 2 and are going to Corona VI (N800,000)

-you live in a 3 bedroom flat in 1004 (N3M)

-you have a car, your spouse has one too (N4M-unless you take loans in which case your situation is even worse)

-you intend to go on annual vacations with the entire family (not Jand, I mean real vacations-2M)

-you hire domestic staff, driver-N30k p/month, house help-N10k, cook- N30k)

-you feed (can’t come up with an estimate, hmm let’s say N150k)

These are just a few of the expenses.  Some might be unnecessary e.g. house helps and cook if you are a super woman.

How on earth are you supposed to do all this on just your own incomes as a couple? Point is: you need to have at least 2 streams of income. Ideally you should aim at MULTIPLE streams. Dependence on a job is not the way forward. It is not going to give you the life you desire. We need to start thinking up ways to sustain ourselves beyond the monthly bank alert from your work place. I get so inspired by young people who have identified this truth and are running with the vision of self employment or at least ‘something by the side’. Identify your area of gifting, hone it and let it begin to speak for you. After all Mark Zuckerberg has one head.

Have a great weekend!

Temiville.xoxo

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Wedding Issue

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I LOL at myself as I write this post. It’s going to be a really quick and unedited one. Here goes…

I am seriously considering a destination wedding, maybe I’ll be getting married in The Bahamas. This is my proposed list of attendees:

  1. Myself
  2. My fiancé
  3. My dad
  4. My mom
  5. First brother
  6. Second Brother
  7. Third Brother
  8. Fourth Brother
  9. Fiancé’s  six or max 8 guests consisting of IMMEDIATE family members
  10. One Chief bridesmaid and one Best man (no entourage)
  11. The officiating Pastor

We will now come back and have an intimate reception with just 50 REAL friends and family at a lovely venue in Lagos. If you are a family member or friend and you have to remind me that I was this short when we last saw, you are NOT invited. It is a wedding not a reunion!

No husband YET o but when I looked at a wedding planner’s excel spreadsheet and all, I lolled! Hahaha. Even if I had so much money, I would just jejely use it to buy a house/put money down on mortgage, invest in property, set up a fund for my kids’ education at Cambridge and Harvard or do something else. 3 million for a cake?!!!! Cake that is not even nice , lol (I hate fruit cakes) It’s all just funny to me.

I guess when I get to that bridge, I shall cross it.

For now, all I do is LOL!!!

Lord help us all.

Temiville.xoxo

MONDAY: Learning to be Heaven-focussed

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Hope you had a fab weekend people! Mine was good.

I spent 45% of my time studying. I don’t have any professional tests or examination to write but I just felt the need to familiarise myself with the financial world and so I got to reading.  As most of you know, I have a diverse background. Back in Secondary School, I was a science student with the hope of becoming a Neuro Surgeon. After much consideration, I decided Medicine was forced on me and not really my dream career so I studied Law and then I went on to my Postgrad in something else. This means I can pick up Ababio and get his drift. PN Okeke is not altogether alien either and I can easily analyse Julius Caesar. I love Law and politics is my thing. But now working in the Financial Services industry has brought the next challenge my way and I cannot carry last, no sireee! It has not been easy breezy but God has been my guide.

Nothing is impossible with God *straight face*

 

Very early on Saturday morning, I went to Ikoyi to join a jogging group. Good Lawd! My muscles have still not forgiven me. We jogged from Bourdillon and up Falomo Bridge into VI and then back. It was shame that kept me going. That was my fuel. If not, I would have called a cab to go back into Ikoyi. It’s really a nice feeling you get after a proper work out. You cannot endure miles of jogging and then eat stupidly. I’d like to say I’m jogging to be fit but that would be a big fat lie! I’m jogging and depriving myself of Coke to lose weight…just because.

Sunday service was interesting. Pastor Moses spoke about ‘Opening the Gate’ and that topic honestly deserves a blog post of its own. One thing that kept ringing in my head is how the focus on making heaven seems to be growing dimmer and dimmer. Don’t get me wrong. There is still that constant zeal to do good and live righteously but when I pondered on it, I realized that my goal was majorly because of the benefits to be derived HERE on earth. I think about staying righteous so that good things don’t elude me. I’m polite and courteous so that I receive it back- no one likes insult. Most of my motivations for doing the right things were due to what can be gained in this life through God’s grace. Though this in itself is not a bad thing, a higher level of thinking would be to stay focused on heaven and life after this. I pray God will help us to live a life that takes into constant consideration that LIFE IS JUST A PASSING PHASE.

Have a lovely week ahead and God bless you!

Temiville.xoxo

It’s over now…

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My ex and I had been having off and on moments but generally, we were a happy couple. The thing is this: I am a strong willed girl. I am not easily influenced and I can be very forthright, dishing out my opinions whether or not you ask for them. Some love me some hate me. People are hardly ever indifferent to me. I have a presence everywhere I go-a strong one. For a girl, I guess it means that I need God’s special grace to be submissive, have a meek and gentle spirit and the whole Proverbs 31 works. I take after my dad. We are close but when we argue, even my mother excuses us.

I met Yimika through my friend and I was especially drawn to his calm and reserved nature. I also liked the fact that most of the time, I had my way with him. He might put up a show of disapproval but in the end, it was always done how I wanted it done. We had arguments-many of them and I always ‘won’. Yimika was so gentle to the point of apologising when I was wrong.

We had one of our famous fights but he offended me this time. I took it really personal and said some hurtful things to him which I knew were uncalled for but I guess the Leo in me never permitted me to back down and apologise. You know one of those situations where you believe you guys are tight enough to receive stingers from each other…yea, that’s what I thought. So I dropped the phone on him and hoped he would come round and beg me. He always did. You see, Yimika was like that. He’s Pisces. Pisces are like that. They want peace and would sacrifice their pride and ego on the altar of love and romance. It had always been like that for the 8 months of my relationship with Yimika.

 Anyways, one week of not speaking went into 2 and 2 weeks easily became a month. It was already July and Yimika and I had not spoken in a month. Eventually, I realized I was hurting no one but myself so I went to his house to see him and talk things over. I noticed changes right from the gate. The mai-guard who will usually greet me in a cheerful and bubbly manner was a bit formal. My friends think I exaggerate when I told them this but I could have sworn that Limo, the dog barked angrily at me too.

To cut the tale short:

–          It is over between us-he says he cannot be with someone who constantly brings him down. Now, I had absolutely NO idea I do this. I’m just a very assertive person. And he can be really chilled a lot of the time. So I assumed that what made him like me is because we are different. I thought he was loving the fact that I take charge.

–          He is still single but has decided that there is no need for us to see any longer at least not until we are both totally over each other.

Thinking back, I do realize I might have taken him for granted once or twice but he NEVER complained. How was I to know it was all building up? Now he lists out all my faults and I wonder: why are we in a relationship if you can’t steer me on the right path? Why must you wait till you can take no more and then you explode?

I’m not really trying to win him back because to be honest, I’m a firm believer in the principle: what is yours is yours. But I really would like to pass across two lessons:

-When you’re unhappy in a relationship, tell your partner. Please don’t chill and then break up because you are ‘fed up’ when the other party had no idea something was wrong in the first place.

-Never ever take quiet people for granted. They are DANGEROUS. You might think you can easily walk all over them but the truth is this: they record every step you take over them and they are storing it safely in a box, once it is full, no amount of pleading can take things back to the way they once were. All I had to do was look into Yimika’s eyes to know it was over. Hopeless. He was done.

Anyways just thought to dish out my own nugget of wisdom and hope someone learns without having to experience it firsthand.

***

Let’s call the writer *Busola*. What do you guys think of Busola’s situation? Should every loud, assertive, no nonsense girl aim to be calm and gentle or did God create us all differently for variety sake? Are you a quiet person or do you know any quiet person? How do you relate with them in peace without being too boring or cautious?

Random Info: I am Pisces but I really would not consider myself ‘dangerous’ or unforgiving. The younger me used to find it difficult to let people know I was offended and I did have the tendency to sacrifice myself for peace sake. But now, I’m more refined and mature in my approach. I am still sensitive but I’ve learned to speak out rather than expect people to read my mind.

About me…

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Hey lovelies,

Been away for far too long. Miss blogging but work has been time consuming (as it should be) but interesting.

I have some long posts coming up soon but thought to test the blogging waters with this…

Have a lovely Friday.

About me…

1. Do you have any pets?

No. Not by choice though. I’d love to have 8 dogs in my home. Hopefully, Oga will agree to it.

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.

Right now, I have beside me a bottle of water, my hand cream and my diary. There are loads more stuff but I choose to write those three.

3. What’s the weather like right now?

 Cold. Bone hurting cold. And no, I’m not in England. I’m in Lagos but Jand aint got nothing on my office temperature. It is as though we are hell-bent on making you think you are abroad once you step in. I have to have a blazer on or a cup of latte to warm my fingers most times.

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?

Yes. No, I have never crashed. And I will not in Jesus’ name.

5. What time did you wake up this morning?

5 am with a slightly heavy heart. I’m good now though

6. When was the last time you showered?

Erm. For real?

7. What was the last movie you saw?

I think it was the Apes one.

8. What does your last text message say?

Y’ello! Get a FREE Modem and enjoy…bleh. Some random text from MTN.

9. What’s your ringtone?

King of kings (He’s a Wonder)- Loud.

Re Ma Si/Nobody like You-Phone Calls Only

10. Have you ever been to a different country?

Yes.

11. Do you like sushi?

Yes. The eater friendly version.

12. Where do you buy your groceries?

I don’t. If I have to buy my Crunchy Nuts (the only thing I alone eat), I get it from Goodies.

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?

Yes I have. All manners.

14. How many siblings do you have?

3 official. 4 truly truly.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

Both.

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Check my post on the 20th of February 2011. Therein lies the answer.

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?

Glasses but rarely.

18. Do you color your hair?

Nah.

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.

I’m planning to organise a presentation and then rest in preparation for my group jog tomorrow.

20. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday evening at about 8:30pm. No details.

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?

Pepperoni-loads of ‘em.

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?

Cheese burgers

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?

  Yep.

24. What is your eye color?

Brownish blue.

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?

Excuse you?