And they muse too (Mosope)

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Hi people! How are you all doing? Hope you had a lovely weekend. I’ve been blog-stalking these days, it is so crazy. Last week Saturday night/Sunday morning, I spent odidin 4 hours reading blogs!!! I recently added more blogs to my blogroll.’Fomz introduced me to one blog a  few days ago and I’ve been stalking the poor girl since then. Here it is—> Chichi’s blog. I also enjoyed reading (my usual) Naija mom’s blog post where she wondered whether wisdom comes from age and experience. Very real bloggers, I must say.

Anyway, on to the matter at issue…

I was having a random convo with my girl, Sope (the fine geh on top who looks like she’s lost musing) the other day. We were talking about my recent post and before I could say ‘Rose of Sharon’, this babe was giving me some insights into the Word in a way that I found new and interesting. I had to ask her to permit me to blog about it and share it with you guys. It was from 2 Kings 5-the story of Naaman the leper. I’ll give a brief introduction before I go into Sope’s nuggets of wisdom. Enjoy!

Naaman was a big boy in those days. I mean, he was like a general and had won loads of wars. He was fit (in every sense of the word). He was strong. But/shugbon/however, he was a leper. Being leprous in those days was bad mehn. Lol, not like it’s any better now but then, they used to chase lepers out of the land. Naaman still being in the land and being so close to the king is proof that he was one of the cream people in the land. His leprosy was his only problem and it was a big one.

Slave girl advises them

 

His house girl from Israel who knew wassup told him to go and see Elisha in Samaria. Elisha tells him in verse 10, ‘Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean’. Naaman was burnt. He was livid. Why dirty Jordan? Why not the springy clean rivers in Damascus like Abana and Pharpa? He was not having it! Anyways, he finally did it and became whole again upon his servants’ advice.

Naaman is made whole!

***

Sope noted that Naaman wanted wonderous signs and miracles before he could believe and this is akin to our miracle searching Christianity these days. She said that we are quick to believe that a ‘movie star’ man of God would heal us than for us to call to work the power that is within. We search for miracles without realising that the miracle is already complete and all we really have to do now we is to tap into it.  We come so far, like Naaman, to our place of deliverance only to get there and our faith would fail us.

She emphasised the importance of that prayer ‘Lord, help my unbelief”. It is  ‘sooooo key!’, she exclaimed. Despite the fact that ‘Naaman lived in a time when God saved Israel from destruction through a stammering man with a wooden staff, he could not believe enough to baff inside river’. Now, that had me lolling =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=))

To Naaman, it was foolishness to obey Elisha’s instructions. But, God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise 1 Corinthians 1: 27. Guess that’s why the Bible in 1 Corinthians 3: 19 says that our wisdom is like foolishness in the sight of God.

‘Sope served up the truth of the Word with so much humour, it was refreshing. There are some parts that I can never do justice to so I’ll just go ahead and let y’all read the conversation.

Participants:
————-
Faithville =>, ‘sope

Messages:
———
‘sope
No more crumbs…: But thank God as always for wise counsel
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Showing that it can come from the most unlikely sources
Faithville =>: Trueeee
‘sope
No more crumbs…: The spirit at work is still what allowed Naaman (Captain of the guards) to listen to his servant who told him
‘sope
No more crumbs…: O boy, e pay u make u enter that water
Faithville =>: Lolzzzzz
Faithville =>: Sope oh!
‘sope
No more crumbs…: This Elisha guy is a big stuvs oh
‘sope
No more crumbs…: If e no work, e no work be that but at least u tried
Faithville =>: I’m feeling you!
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Its not easy for Naaman to have heeded the voice of the servant now
‘sope
No more crumbs…: So make we open ear well well

***

God had mercy on Naaman. The lord who stood by the king’s side who doubted Elisha’s prophesy that flour would sell for a shekel and two measures of Barley, for a shekel was not so lucky  (2 Kings 7:1-16). Speaking based on his understanding, he answered Elisha thus, ‘Look, even if the LORD should open the floodgates of the heavens, could this happen?’ ‘You will see it with your own eyes, but you will not eat any of it!’, was the pronouncement Elisha made on him straightaway.

The lord in the land was feeling like an economist and spoke  but he forgot that the Lord of lords does not operate by the laws of this world. He hadn’t particularly said anything that was soooooo bad like that like that. Sope asked, ‘What did he say that Naaman didn’t say?’ But he was not so lucky. He died at the gate with just enough time to see the promise but not experience it. Like God has said in His Word, ‘I will have mercy upon whom I will have mercy’, Exodus 33:19. She went on to compare it with Gehazi who decided to collect presents from Naaman after Elisha had refused them:

‘sope
No more crumbs…: On another note, Elisha’s servant that went to collect silver- ha ha ha
Faithville =>: Lol
Faithville =>: Lol
‘sope
No more crumbs…: They just used Leprosy to ba aye e je (to destroy his life)
‘sope
No more crumbs…: As in- were u deaf when Oga said that oga Naaman shld go je je
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Before u ran after him
Faithville =>: Hmm
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Quite cruel of Elisha tho- as in… A good telling off would have sufficed
Faithville =>: Ahh
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Which one be leprosy in there
Faithville =>: His spiritual daddy, Elijah did worse!
Faithville =>: Na fire e for call
‘sope
No more crumbs…: abi oh
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Guess he learnt from the best
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Ha ha
Faithville =>: Hehehe
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Guess the moral there was – not collect a price for ur anointing
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Elisha understood that
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Servant did not
Faithville =>: True
Faithville =>: Thanks so much Sope real insightsss
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Anytime
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Reading Oseremi and Onose’s story now
‘sope
No more crumbs…: Lol

***

I learned from this brief conversation  I had with Sope that God cannot be understood. He will work as He pleases so no use trying to put him in a box. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). I also learned that the way God will appear to us is not always in the manner we are expecting. For example, 1. The information about where Naaman could find healing came through an unlikely source- a slave girl, 2.  He was asked to wash himself in a very dirty water.

Also, I can see humility as a theme running through here. If Naaman was absolutely stuck up and full of himself, there is NO way he would have received his healing. We never know which avenue God will use to bless us. Ladies, don’t look down on that guy because  he is not bunz enough and appears swagless. The swagless and unbunz of today maybe the hawrie of tomorrow who will propel you to your divine destiny.

I just pray that God will increase our faith and our humility and teach us the right path to tow and that we too will follow His leading.

PS: If you feel like you wanna share something (spiritual or otherwise) through this platform, send me an email on caramellatteaddict@yahoo.com.

On my usual random note, ANTM Cycle 15 is almost over and Ann whom I went on and on about in  this and this past blog posts of mine, made it to Final Two!!! I hope she wins though it would be a pleasant shocker giving that dreckitude runway walk of hers. I love Ann to bits but the girl can’t walk to save her life!

Here she is as photographed by Matthew Rolston

Ann

Here’s the latest Episode which was basically a recap of the entire Cycle so far…

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

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…And another one: Double Portion

22 Comments

Hiya!

Ok, I’m sure you’re wondering how far with me. Two blog posts in two days??? Well, I’m on a roll baby! Some weeks are just bleh/dry/nothing to report mode. Not this one hehehe.

Today, I was browsing through my blue old rugged Bible and I dwelt on the whole Elisha/Elijah/Double portion and decided to do some blogging on it.  So here we go…

I find the story in 2 Kings 2: 1-15 very interesting. It has so many themes running through it ranging from perseverance, determination, love to victory. I’ve decided to blog about it today to share my thoughts and also see what you think of it.

The story is about the home going of Elijah, one of the greatest men in the Bible (whenever you hear the prayers like ‘by fire, God that answers by FIRE!!!’ or ravens bring someone their best food just remember Elijah).

I think of him as a no nonsense man. He was never smiling when it came to doing God’s business and he never spared the enemy. No matter how seemingly outrageous/wicked/harsh his request were, God ALWAYS honoured it. Hence, my resolve to be careful with men of God. I know no baseless curse will stand etc but please, it’s not on my body that the experiment would be performed. I don’t want to try any man of God before he commands leprosy on someone. Anyways, I digress.

Seeing Elijah get caught up

Elijah had been mightily used of God but it was time for him to pass on the baton to a new generation. Elisha was hungry for power from God and he was willing to follow this hunger to fruition. He was ready to pay the price for the prize.

In verse 1, we see how Elisha went along with Elijah.  In verse 2, despite Elijah’s plea/admonition for him to stay back, his mind was made up. This reminds me of the whole Ruth (Abokoku) and Naomi situation. This shows that a strong resolve usually gets God’s attention.  Anyone can wish upon a star, hope, dream, even pray once in a while. However, when the time arises to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the unserious from the determined, one’s resolve is what matters.

How willing are we to go along with the Master? From the Word, it is not evident that Elisha was after the whole double portion from the onset. He could simply have followed on due to the deep love he had for his master, Elijah. This is my guess.

Elijah was moved by the level of faithfulness and commitment demonstrated by Elisha that he just had to give him a parting gift. He could not bear to see such staunch loyalty go unrewarded. Therefore, the request in verse 9 was simply a fringe benefit of Elijah’s devotion.

It would interest you to know that God had already selected Elisha as Elijah’s replacement in 1 Kings 19: 16: Also you shall anoint Jehu the son of Nimshi as king over Israel. And Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel Meholah you shall anoint as prophet in your place. However, as His Word says in Hebrews 11:6 , He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

In those days, by law, firstborn children received a double portion of their fathers’ estates, Deuteronomy 21:17: But he shall acknowledge the son of the unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his and in verse 12, Elisha called Elijah, ‘My father, my father‘. He was therefore in verse 9 only asking for his rightful inheritance as a first born! When then did Elijah consider his request to be a ‘hard thing’ (verse 10)? I believe it is because it was beyond Elijah’s jurisdiction (power for the lay people ie non-lawyers hehehe) to grant such a request of anointing. Only God can anoint, raise up a prophet and give positions of power and influence.

At a first glance, Elisha’s request seemed selfish, ambitious and proud but the truth is that it is most humble in nature. He understood the fact that Israel was in dire need of a man of God who would deliver the Word of God and do His will. He also appreciated the fact that if he was to be that person, he, of himself, was unable to do it as he did not possess such power. He was not asking for power, wealth, position etc. He was simply asking to be led by the Spirit of God, to be a son of God (Romans 8:14).

The condition in verse 10 was for him to remain faithful to the very end. It is this same power of the Holy Ghost that we need today. We have to understand that we are unable to operate in the machinery of human wisdom and power.

AW Tozer commented that without the ministry of the Holy Spirit, 95% of what the early church did would have been impossible (make that 100%). Sadly he noted that if the Spirit were removed today, 95% of what we do in the modern church would continue unabated!!!(Tozer and Synder, 2009).

I had to dig out his picture!

We need the infilling of the Holy Spirit but are we willing to follow our Elijah from Gilgal to Bethel to Jericho past the mocking prophet to Jordan through the sea and see him taken up? We need to experience God, not just have stories fed to us from the pulpit of others’ experiences.

When we pay the price, others will know that indeed there is a difference just as the prophets’ sons knew that there was a difference on Elijah without him having to utter a word. They even rightly identified that it was indeed the spirit of Elijah resting on him. No need to speak much, if you’ve been through fire, people will smell the flames.

I pray that  God will help us to identify our Elijahs (be they actual people or situations) and remain faithful to the end through the help of His Spirit in order to obtain the double portion.

I found a lovely video about the Elijah/Elisha story by George Bloomer…

Days of Elijah ( love this version by Paul Wilbur)

Lovely song of thanks to God even as we reflect on His mercy and grace from January to this day

On a random note, I have been stalking Jaycee’s and  Aunty Bukky’s relationship blog recently and I think you should too.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Never again!

43 Comments

Aloha people! Kilon pop? Hope y’all are enjoying yourselves. I am loving these last few weeks of the year and my heart is absolutely filled with gratitude to God for His constant love. Our God, indeed, is an awesome God.

I’m going to share something with you guys today and pretty much seek your opinion on the issue. Here goes…

*******

A friend, Oseremi calls me and has a full length rant about how she is breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 months. After narrating the whole story of how he was still in love with his ex, she ended by solemnly proclaiming,

‘Never again am I going into a relationship with a guy whose last relationship was longer than 3 months…okay, max 10 months! For real mehn, they are just bad news, constantly comparing you with his ex, giving stories of how much fun they had and other randomness of gists you really don’t care a hoot for’. She went on and on.

Hmmn. I feel bad for her because I know she is not one to enter into a relationship lightly and she she had jejelly been single for 4 years because her motto is ‘There really no point being with someone you are not 100% sure of’. The person she was finally ‘100% sure of’ came in the form of Onose. I kinda suspected sha that the guy was a ‘no no’ but trust me, it is not from my mouth that you will hear that the teacher’s mother has tooth infection. So I did what I know to be wise and instead, prayed for her that she should see the light.

What exactly was the problem with Onose? Well, nothing in particular. In fact, he is a correct person. He’s extremely friendly, God fearing, dresses well, speaks well, the whole works but there’s just one ‘however’. His Facebook is sprinkled with photos of himself and his ex which he has point blank refused to delete. He claims they remain ‘bosom’ friends and therefore, it will be wrong to delete the pictures (and one video sef). To add extra heat to the already burning situation, Onose and his ex, Miriam abi Mariam (I’m not certain) were together for 3.5 years! That is long mate! Even after 8 months of break up, her pictures are everywhere, his laptop, his phone and his Facebook. Well not everywhere, just those three very important locations.

Happy looking pictures all over FB!

I’ m no soothsayer or fortune teller but really, you wouldn’t have needed those to know that Oseremi was heading nowhere with this relationship. Onose and Miriam were still as close as ever. They would call each other when the other was in trouble etc.

It was this same Oseremi that gave me the gist of how one day, Onose received a call from Miriam when they watching Inception in Odeon. He ignored the call at first and then he received a text that read, ‘urgent, abeg pick!!!’. Our brother did not even chill to receive the call, he left the cinema hall to go outside to call her. According to her, he left when the first dream started and did not come back until when the girl agreed to go into the dream (or whatever, I never understood Inception anyways). The point is that they spent ages on the phone whilst he was supposed to be on a date with a girl who barely just said ‘yes’.

My friend, understandably, was seething however as a sharp girl, she knew better than to nag. When they were going home, she asked him what happened. He said Miriam was having issues with her dad and was getting frustrated. As he was about to drive, his phone rang again and yes, you guessed right, it was indeed Miriam. Our dear Onose prayed and prayed and prayed for Miriam on the phone. I think she said he even spoke in tongues, ‘I can assure you, it will all be fine. You go and talk to dad, I know him. He will relax’. At that point, Oseremi was weak.’ ‘Dad’ keh?’, she wondered.

Anyway, the overall point is that she eventually got the hint from him that he was not exactly over Miriam. She then broke up with him  on the grounds that he and his ex were behaving like they were still in a relationhip. The sad part is that he didn’t even beg or protest. He didn’t deny it either. He just said, ‘I understand’.

All I could do was listen to her speak and then do what I know to do which is pray. I said a short prayer for her and in my prayer, I thanked God that she found out now and not 2 years into their relationship. She felt better after we spoke but the whole thing got me musing.

********

I personally don’t think Oseremi’s decision never to date a guy whose last relationship is longer than 10 months is the solution to all this brouhaha. Although, I know exactly where she is coming from. I believe she did not take out enough time to get to know him. I believe in praying. I also believe in watching. I, as a third party, could tell that Onose was still into his ex. Come on! The Facebook issue was a clear give away. He constantly posts things on her wall like ‘have a good day’, ‘how is Rita (Miriam’s sister), tell her I’m sorry I could not make it to her grad, I called but she did not pick’. In fact, her entire clan was his friend on Facebook. He called her father ‘dad’. What other hint did she need, really?

Like I said earlier, it could have been worse. We bless God for every little blessing…

***This is an approved blog post by Oseremi***

On a different note, in the spirit of the end of the year, I thought to share my best ‘end of year’ song… Enjoy

Who remembers these lyrics? Deeper Life in Gbagada used to sing it loads towards the end of each year,

Another year is dawning, dear Father, let it be
In working or in waiting, another year with Thee.
Another year of progress, another year of praise,
Another year of proving Thy presence all the days.

Another year of mercies, of faithfulness and grace,
Another year of gladness in the shining of Thy face;
Another year of leaning upon Thy loving breast;
Another year of trusting, of quiet, happy rest.

Another year of service, of witness for Thy love,
Another year of training for holier work above.
Another year is dawning, dear Father, let it be
On earth, or else in Heaven, another year for Thee.

As you know, I no dey carry last in Yoruba Movie watching…
Loving this one at the moment though I have been told I shouldn’t hold my breath in anticipation of a great ending…

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Lukewarmness…Why can’t I be ‘just there’?

45 Comments

Hi lovelies!

Hope your week is going well. I know mine is.

I’m still reeling from the whole being a writer on Bella Naija, Naija Stories and now, My church website. Thanks for all your comments and views. I see them all. The Bella Naija story has over 150 comments and the Naija post one has over 400 views!!! Thanks a lot people for all your encouraging words too. I am thankful. God bless you all. Muah!

Anyways, I was doing my usual browsing through/studying of  the Bible and I  found out something I thought I’d share: Being a lukewarm Christian is worse than being an outright sinner! *gasps*

“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot”. Revelation 3:15
The time has come that we choose: God or devil, sin or righteousness, obedience or disobedience, light or darkness and invariably, heaven or hell. There is no in-between. There is no semi-hot hell or not-so-beautiful heaven with bronze floors that the lukewarm people go to.

 

Whilst watching Daddy GO on a programme called “Shout Hallelujah” (by the way, it is on 8.30-9.00pm every day on OHTV-199), I learned that: Temi, it’s better to go all out for Christ or all out for the devil. Nothing should be done with mediocrity.Our God is an excellent God. He is not average. He loathes average. The devil, on the other hand, can ‘manage’. Daddy GO said, if you want to be bad, please be very very very bad. So that when in hell, you can hi5 the devil and say: at least, I enjoyed myself.

 

But what a shame it will be if after all the prayer and fasting and long Choir Practices and abstaining from clubs, immorality and not drinking, not womanising with your friends, not doing credit card fraud no matter how broke you are despite all your “guys” doing it, all the tithes and offering, Jehovah says, I know ye not and “I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies. Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them: neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts.” Or after all our soprano and alto and harmony, we hear, “Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols”. (Amos 5:21-23) That will not be our lot in Jesus’ name. We will know the Truth and heed the Truth.

Revelation 3:14-19 sometimes frightens me. Revelation 3:16 says, ‘So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth’. May we not be spued out of Christ’s mouth. Note that for the lukewarm Christian to be spat out of Jesus’ mouth, he was once inside. He got into the mouth in the first place. But then, he lost his zeal. He lost his vision. He perished. John 3:16-God loves us dearly. Revelation 3:16-He will separate the goats from the sheep and cast the goats to eternal damnation. Even the mixed-breed sheepish goat or goatish sheep will be condemned.

Let he that has ears hear.

This earth is just a passing phase. Heaven is our final destination. We will get there in Jesus’ name. We will not be sidetracked. In heaven, we will all rush to each other and hug ourselves. Not one of us will be missing. Then we will rush up to God and confirm about those things we never quite understood such as the Hebrew women, the difference between trial and temptation and then sing Him a special special number maybe “Only You are Holy” by Donnie McClurkin #justsaying.

NB: Please guys pray for me as I know that he that knoweth the truth and does it not, to him is sin. Loads more is expected of they that tell of the Word. The great news is that we are not left alone in this race. We have a Helper in the Holy Spirit!

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Now a writer on Bella Naija and NaijaStories :-)

25 Comments

Yayyyyy!!!

I’m so excited people. I’m now a contributor/writer on BellaNaija.com and Naija Stories!!! *doing my signature dance and grinning from ear to ear*

I’m so happy about it for two reasons:

#I didn’t know I could write like that. As in, I’ve always loved writing but the way I get inspiration these days especially after a cup of caramel latte brewed to perfection, hmmn, e no get part 2 (hehehe…just messing).

But really, I’m so glad I’m beginning to hone my writing skills and I thank God so much for the platforms He has provided through My blog, Naija Stories  and now, BellaNaija. This brings me to my second reason.

#BellaNaija and Naija Stories are huge platforms for my kind of writing as it is so infused with Nigerian themes and humour.

It was put up today…

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

BellaNaija

Click here to access it : My post on BellaNaija and also My post on Naija Stories

On an unrelated note, I saw this on a friend’s profile on Facebook and thought to share. Enjoy…

Men are Stronger Than Women?

Oh please! Can you bleed for a week and survive?Can you squeeze a 14 inch baby from a 9 centimeter hole?

Can you carry a 7 pound baby in your stomach for 9 months? Can you take care of a child, cook, clean, and talk on the phone at once?

Can you carry 108 pound shopping bags? Can you go a week only eating salad? Can you face heartbreak? Can you watch the love of your life be with someone else?

Can you burn your forehead with a straightener and not complain? Can you walk all day on 6 inch stilettos?

Can you cry all night then wake up the next morning like everything’s okay?

I didn’t think so!

Okay, I’m no feminist and I plan to be a submissive wife oh but I found it quite interesting.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

My first video blog! whoop!!

26 Comments

Learning from David

Hi guys!

It’s gonna be less typing, more watching today. I’m so excited about the video blog ’cause it’s been on my mind for a while now. I just didn’t want to do  it however, until I had something to say. The opportunity arose through the life of David and I hope you enjoy it and also learn from it too.

I took the lesson from 1 Samuel 30:1-20.

I had some difficulties uploading the video straight from my laptop to the blog so I had to be innovative *shy wave* and use YouTube. Due to the time limit allowed on YouTube, I had to do some brutal editing. I apologise for any random cuts. I made the video private though. I’m shy like that!

Enjoy.

*****The thank yous that were cut out are to Myne Whitman and Linda Ikeji*****

Hope you enjoyed it!

In other news, I am watching ANTM right now and I am so sad for Ann. She seems to be going downhill. She has slipped from having best photo 5 times to being in bottom 2  last week and so far, this week is not looking that promising for her either. Here is the link for those who are interested.


This Saturday is going to be amazing as I told y’all in the video. Can’t wait!


PS: Whenever I video blog, the text will be italicised.


That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

This life sha! (La Deuxième Partie)

60 Comments

I was of the opinion that Chukky and I had the perfect relationship. As perfect as it gets, really.

That was until Chukky travelled to Jand in ’09 for his Masters. I never liked the idea of him going without me since I already planned to do mine too. I wanted us to go together. But he was in a hurry. My parents were not financially ready as I had two siblings doing Masters abroad. Tola, my older sister by just a year, was in the US doing her MA in History whilst Bisodun, the oldest of all three of us was doing his Masters in Jand too. He was in LSE, London which means things were super expensive so as the last child, I knew I was to be the sacrificial lamb. My parents had explained this to me. I understood. I considered myself lucky to have parents who could not only afford it but also love me enough to want to spend so much on my education so I certainly was not going to push it.

Chukky, however was adamant. He refused to defer his admission to Lancaster till 2010 like I did. I felt hurt. But only because I was going to miss him.  We had always planned our lives together. We even served in Abuja together. It was going to be the first time in 6 years that I would spend without him. I dreaded it. But I was already practising being a Proverbs 31 wife who builds her husband so I knew I had to be his helper and support his plans. To me, Chukky was not a boyfriend, he was not a fiance. I saw him as he would be in 2011-my husband. Yes, we were engaged to be married and were planning towards next year.

The proposal is etched in my memory. I can never forget. Of course, I took it as given that he would propose to me. Come on, we had been together for 6 years! But I had imagined him taking me to a cinema and ‘WILL YOU MARRY ME, IRETI?’ appearing on the screen while everyone cheered on as I screamed ‘Yes!’Or even something along the lines of how Majid proposed to his girlfriend in Silent Scandal. Watch it here from 3:50

Or we being in a restaurant and he having organised with the staff to bring me a meal with my ring somewhere in the food. I was expecting something romantic and cheesy like that.

Nothing could have prepared me for how Chukky went about it. He proposed to me after NYSC ended in the presence of my parents and Bisodun, my big brother. He came to my house to see my dad to ask him for my hand in marriage! He directed the whole conversation at my father and eventually ended it with,

‘Please sir, can I have Ireti’s hand in marriage?’

I was shell shocked. Even my dad was shocked but he managed to mutter a half bewildered half amused ‘yes’.  It was then Chukky walked up to where I was seated in the living room, went down on one knee and asked,

‘Ireti, will you marry me?’

At this point, I had a flash back of how I had planned to jump on him, hug him, cry, say ‘YES!’, and kiss him whenever he proposed. By the time I looked to my right and saw my mom smiling, looked to my left and saw my dad looking like he was stifling his laughter and then looked across the room and saw  Bisodun scowling, the only thing I could do was say a very unromantic ‘yes’. I could not even hug him. My parents eventually left us although Bisodun, my ever protective brother hung around pretending to be watching a football match. It took about five minutes for it to dawn on me that I was engaged. I was engaged! I was absolutely overjoyed.

The first thing I did was to pick up my Blackberry and changed my BB status to ‘Chukky has proposed! *dancing smiley*’. I then reached for Bisodun’s laptop and went straight to Facebook to change my relationship status from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Engaged’. I got almost 20 comments in 10 minutes not mentioning the ‘likes’ and the BB messages. I was at peace. I was content. I was engaged.

This was part of the reasons why I did not want to separate from Chukky. I was thinking like we were married already and I believed we should always plan things as a couple. I was trying to balance this with being a submissive wife so when Chukky insisted that he would like to go in 2009 for his Masters, all I could do was pray and support his dreams. I trusted him so infidelity was not even an issue to me. It was more about the fact that I was not sure how I would manage without him for so long. I was going to miss him like crazy.

When Chukky got to Lancaster, communication slowly began to reduce after about 3 months. He complained that his assignments were so overwhelming and that he had to concentrate. I used to go to his Facebook page at least 10 times a day to see who his friends were and if he was getting tagged in any pictures. There was not much to see. I was worried that he was not integrating well enough. The only place he ever told me he was when he is not home is his RCCG Parish in Lancaster. That was his second home. He had joined the Technical Department and they were usually very busy in Church. Over the months, when Chukky drastically reduced his calls, texts and even BBMs, I just assumed he was busy in God’s house and with school work. I was not happy. But I was being understanding. I met him a born again Christian so why should I now complain? Chukky eventually left Facebook. People would ask me how Chukky was doing and if I was hearing from him. I always lied. I said ‘yes’ all the time. I kept praying for him and us. I knew it was just a phase. It had come to pass.

As soon as September came, my joy knew no bounds, it was time to finally be reunited with Chukky after a whole year of being apart. I got my ticket way earlier than school resumed so I could have at least 3 weeks of just hanging out with him before school started. As soon as the plane landed at Heathrow, I quickly sorted my hair and make up out whilst seated. I was very excited. Somewhere in my heart, I was scared too. I went through security. Got my suitcases and started scanning the faces for Chukky’s who was to meet me there. I scanned and scanned. None was his.

Waiting for two hours!

After about two hours’ wait, he finally appeared. All my disappointment flew away. I ran to meet him and jumped on him. I was too happy to notice his coolness and nonchalant attitude. He told me there were delays on the Underground and that was why he was late. I really did not care. I was too glad to see him. He was looking slightly chubbier and had a small goatee which looked so good on him. My pulse was racing. I was with Chukky again.

The next three weeks went so slowly. I thought we would see everyday but Chukky always told me things like ‘Oh, I’m working’, ‘I’m busy’. He helped me move from London to Lancaster when my accommodation opened in Bailrigg. He left that same day. He had become so serious, so mechanical with me. Nothing I said was funny. He looked eager to always leave my presence. I knew there was a problem but nothing could have prepared me for its magnitude.

This last Sunday, after Church, he came to my house to see me. I knew he was coming and I had spent the  Saturday cooking Banga soup like his mom had taught me. He walked in and I hugged him. The hug was not lingering like it used to be. It was almost mechanical. He sat down.

‘What would you like to drink?’, I asked, smiling, trying to keep the atmosphere less icy.

‘Ireti, I’m good, thanks. I just ate before coming here’, he responded.

I was shattered. But I decided to keep smiling.

‘Sit down, I’d like to talk to you’.

I sat down.

I remember his exact words. Just like his proposal, they are forever etched in my memory.

‘Ireti, I don’t know how else to say this. I’ve pondered and pondered. I spoke to my Pastor. I have prayed and fasted. I have decided that I just have to say it like it is’.

By now, tiny beads of sweat were already on my forehead and my palms were so wet.

‘Go on’, I said, dreading what was to come next. He left his seat, and knelt down before me, just like his proposal and said,

‘Ireti, it’s over between us. I’m so sorry’. This time, he was crying.

I was detached from it all. I felt like my spirit had left my body and was now observing the conversation. I was still smiling. His head was buried on my laps. I felts his tears as they seeped through my dress, drenching it. I was still smiling.

No tear came out. I felt like I was dead. I felt like the world had come to an end. At some point, I thought Chukky would look at me and burst into laughter, asking me how I could have fallen for such a bad trick. I was still smiling.

I looked at Chukky and opened my mouth as if to speak. Nothing came out. It was then I understood how people go mental because of a bad relationship. I kept looking at him and moving my lips. However, no words were spoken. I just stared at his face. Chukwuemeka Onyedikagi Andrew Chibueze, Chukky, my Chukky with whom I had fallen in love at 17. My Chukky. My best friend. The one who drew me to God. My fiance. My confidante. My husband to be. I passed out.

It has been three days now since my world was shattered. My parents are trying to get me to stop school and defer my admission because they don’t believe that I would concentrate. Bolade and Nkem who are both doing their Masters in Loughborough are planning to leave school and stay with me for a week. I have changed my relationship status on Facebook from ‘Engaged’ to ‘Single’. Bolade advised that I just take it out completely so as not to draw unnecessary attention to the whole situation. Right now, I don’t care. Whoever feels like talking should talk.

Single

I found out the real reason Chukky left me. He fell in love with a girl in her second year, now third, during his Masters. She was on fire for God. She was very active in Church and I think Chukky believes this is the girl he needs to propel him to his divine destiny, his destiny helper. She has long hair, all natural, I have to fix mine. She speaks in tongues, I don’t. She sings like an angel in Church, I cannot sing to save my life. She is just 19, I am going to be 24 soon. She is from his town, Nkwerre in Imo state, I am an Ijebu Igbo girl. She is so close to his Pastor, I am just a churchgoer. I could go on and on…

The rain seems to be getting heavier, just like my tears. I’m down to my last Ginger nut. I don’t hate Chukky. I don’t hate the girl who stole his heart either. But I’m afraid, I don’t wish them well in their relationship. It was founded on deception and therefore may it crumble into irreparable pieces!

I’ll try my best to concentrate in class and pray I never stumble on the girl on campus. I know her face so well. I have been on her Facebook page all day yesterday and today. Her status says ‘In a relationship’ and I saw loads of pictures of them both as far back as January this year. This life sha!

I’m holding on to God in prayers. Pray for me.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

In other news, Festival of Life was amazing!!! I pray the Lord of lords will dominate us so that we can dominate our circumstances and situations. Plus, I’m so ANGRY Katie didn’t leave X Factor yesterday and please what’s all the hype about Cher’s performance on Saturday? Hiss. It only sounded good because people are used to hearing rubbish from her. *mean me* hehehe.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo