Pregnancy Chronicles 3: And unto us, a son was born

I had been told that a typical pregnancy is between 38 to 42 weeks. By 36 weeks, I was fed up! Totally tired and just couldn’t wait to meet the little Prince. I was tired of the constant abdominal pains and difficulty getting in and out of bed. It was such a process. I couldn’t remember when last I saw my toes! I was also tired of Baby kicking me at will and just wanted to hold him. By 38 weeks, I had started taking long walks with S and jumping up and down, taking the stairs two steps at a time and squatting, anything to get the ball rolling.

At my doctor’s appointment (at 39 weeks), I was told I was zero cm dilated and 60% effaced. My doctor got worried and said that for how low I was and how big my baby is, he expected me to have started dilating by now and that he suspected that I would be unable to give birth unaided. According to his assessment of me and from his 35 years of practice of obstetrics and gynaecology, he believes my pelvis is too small for my son’s head. I stared blankly and asked him to speak to me in plain English. He says, “Ma’am, I would like you to prepare yourself for a caesarian delivery”. As at that point, that was the very worst verdict as I had been praying for the past 9 months specifically against that. I know it is not a big deal but it was such a major issue to me and I had spoken to God that I did not wish to be operated upon and that I deliver the way my mother did me.

On one of our trips to the mall, I felt a sharp pain which was very different from the ones I had been experiencing all through my third trimester. It stopped me in my tracks but I dismissed it and later mentioned it to S. We then went on a long walk trying to kick Baby out! By this time, I was 40 weeks and fed up of my big belly! Totally and completely! At my doctor’s appointment, it was discovered that I still wasn’t dilated- 0% nothing, nada, zilch. At that appointment, I was booked for a caesarian section on Friday the 13th of February, I looked at the paper and said “I reject it in Jesus’ name! My child will not be born on Friday the 13th!” LOL!!!

During my time away, I attended a wonderful RCCG church and decided to go for a Praise Night on Tuesday evening. At the event, I kept dancing, komole-ing, rababa-ing, all sorts. I danced and danced and danced totally excited and I could feel Baby dancing along as well. At about 10pm when we got home, I felt all sorts of feelings-from pains, to liquid dripping slowly to all sorts! Whoa! The time is no longer ‘nigh’. The time is now!

I told S and could sense a little bit of excitement in his eyes. My mom was beside herself with excitement. I must confess, I was actually scared. I had watched birth videos online and shivered at the thought of being stretched that wide open by Baby’s head. But the thought that it just had to be done kept me going.

We all prayed and proceeded to the hospital. By this time, the pain had gotten so real! It was coming consistently every 5 minutes and coming so strong. It felt like my worst menstrual pain multiplied by 1million. It was intense but I refused to cry. I winced, squirmed, grimaced, groaned but never shed a tear.

At the hospital, I was taken to triage and registered (international passport and all). By this time, I felt like ‘wow, how do people voluntarily elect to have more thank one child. I was in pain. I thought it could get no worse until the nurse comes in to check ‘how far dilated’ I was. I looked at her blankly expecting her to at least consider my agony and go easy on me. No, she went for it like someone fishing for a lost ball and involuntarily, I slapped her glasses off. Gosh, that stuff was brutal. And to top it up, she announced, ‘you are 1cm dilated’. I was like ‘what?’ After all this pain? 1cm alone??? This was roughly 11:20pm. I was wheeled to L&D i.e. Labour and Delivery.

At L&D, I kept getting asked “are you sure you don’t want an epidural?” I kept responding in the negative. In my mind I thought “I am a strong woman, I don’t need assistance to do what God ordained to be a natural act.” So I endured. At 2 am, I was checked again and lo and behold, I was still 1cm. The L&D nurse was way gentler than the triage lady at least. At 4 am, still 1cm. At 7 am when my doctor came, still 1cm. By 9 am still 1cm. At this point, I was no longer just groaning, my voice had received volume and my arms were moving back and forth whenever the contractions commenced. S looked on helplessly and kept asking me: Temi, are you sure we shouldn’t just believe the doctor and do the CS?” The Doctor had had only just a few moments ago reiterated that my pelvis was too small for Baby and I had to have a CS.

I was tired and looked harassed. I was too weak to think and bam, another contraction hit me like a dirty slap on the face. I still refused to do it and decided to labour for a little longer. At 10am, I asked to be checked again. I was so hopeful as the contractions had become even stronger and more intense. The doctor came to check me again and this time added, “We can’t keep checking so as not to introduce bacteria into your cervix. We also would like you to know that if this continues, we would have to take you in for an emergency CS as your baby could get tired any time from now. I held my breath as he checked and waited for the answer, praying for at least a change however small just to prove the doctor wrong and to encourage me. I mean, how can I have a small pelvis with these truthful hips of mine. “Ma’am, you’re still 1cm, no change”. I looked into S’s eyes and decided there and then that maybe God’s will is for me to have this procedure.

The anaesthesiologist came in and administered the drugs to numb me from the waist down and with a little tear dropping, I was wheeled into surgery to have Baby. This was about 11:40. I could feel the pressure but no pain at all. And at 12:09, he was lifted out of me. At first, he was quiet and I kept asking S, why is he quiet, whats going on? Then out of nowhere, I heard his cry and couldn’t help my sobs. They brought him to me and he was the yellowest creature ever. He was so tiny and I could nt understand why all the doctors called him big. The sweetest thing EVER was born. I immediately forgot all about the CS drama and was so grateful to God. My joy knew no bounds. I was in awe as I still am. Life took on a new meaning as I became a mother at 12:09pm on Wednesday the 11th :).

Thank You Lord for our son. He has brought so much joy and I am so grateful for the confidence reposed in us in entrusting us with such a precious gift. I pray for all to experience this joy. To all waiting on God, may He give you your babies. For those who already have their kid(s), may God protect them and may He provide all you require in giving them the best. Our children shall outlive us. They shall bury us at a ripe old age with their own grandkids in tow. They shall not be named amongst miscreants but will be named amongst the great people of their generation. They will do greater things than we did. They shall not die young. They shall not be sick. All will be well with them and us.

This experience also renewed my admiration for my folks. They have really done well.

It was really tough sharing this and I battled internally that I was being too open. However, I have some lessons to share through my story:

a. Prayer against CS: God doesn’t need to be boxed. I had asked that I didn’t want a CS and prayed the Hebrew woman prayer but I had one. Does that make Him a liar? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Does it make me unrighteous? NO. Does it mean it was His will? Most likely as I prayed and committed all to Him.

b. Epidural: Perhaps, this is not such a bad idea after all lol. I’m glad I experienced labour o but next baby, I probably will have the epidural administered from my house if possible. LOL. No need for super woman tins. There’s no award for the woman who experienced the greatest pain.

c. Pelvis: Erm, I’m still not convinced I can have the hips I have and yet have a small pelvis. lol. But I guess the pelvis is a bone not the fleshy hips.

d. Babies: They are so adorable. Now I don’t frown at mothers when their babies cry in planes, church or other public places. I can empathise.

e. Help: Let people help you with your baby and sleep. I refused to let him out of my sight and could not sleep when they took him to the nursery. lol. Don’t be like me o. Rest well.

f. Breast milk: That thing has no control. By the third day, you will feel like watermelons were inserted into your boobs. Trust me, not pretty!

g. Your hubby: He is so easy to ignore at this point. I mean, you have done your part boo, let me focus on this precious little thing! But no, include you husband all the way. Give him little tasks and trust that he will accomplish them. Don’t worry, momma, you husband won’t choke your baby with his big burly hands and no, he won’t drop the baby either.

h. Maternity Leave: Use it well. But plan well for when work resumes so you won’t go into shock mode when you have just two weeks to the end of maternity leave and you have no plan in place re: taking care of baby.

i. Helpers: Be it your mom, your 2nd mom aka mom in law, your sisters, your nanny, be nice and kind and remember that usually they are acting out of love. So don’t keep referencing Baby Centre when mom decides to make baby sleep on his stomach.

Finally, enjoy your pregnancy, take pictures, enjoy motherhood, stay prayerful and grateful!

Have a lovely week,

E’s mom.xoxo

Pregnancy Chronicles 2: Where to birth!

Hi people, I started sharing my pregnancy experience last week by opening up to you about my fears pre-conception and even my worries about my baby in utero. Today, I want to focus on the actual pregnancy itself and touch on the decision to birth our son in a foreign land and how S and I were on opposite ends of the spectrum on that. I discovered we were having a baby boy and I immediately started praying for him specifically.

Source:http://thumbs.dreamstime.com

I prayed about his health- I asked God to make him free of disease, whether genetic, congenital, acquired howsoever. I prayed about his character- I asked that his behaviour will be shaped by God himself, that he will be a man of character, that he will take on all of S and I’s good sides and none of our failures. I prayed that academically, he will outshine S and I (trust me, that’s a great prayer as his dad is a brainy, me too :p). I prayed that in school, he will not join gangs or cults. I prayed that he will remain a virgin till he marries (I don’t think S said ‘Amen’ to that!!!). I prayed that he won’t marry a destiny destroying woman. I prayed that his wife would submit and love him genuinely in the way God ordained it and that he will also submit to her and love her genuinely as Christ loved the Church (yes, the Bible advocates couples’ submission one to another. See Ephesians 5:21). I prayed that he will birth godly and healthy children. I prayed that, I have known his beginning, I will never know his end and that he and his children and his sibling and his/her children will bury S and I at a ripe old age. I prayed that he will fulfil destiny, make heaven and lead many to God.

As part of the desire to give our son the best, I suggested to S that we birth him in the United States and this was immediately met with strong resistance. “That is the colo/kolo-mentality that is not making Nigeria move ahead. If we put hands together to develop this country, there will be no need to birth abroad, study abroad, go for medical treatment abroad. I was birthed and bred in Nigeria and frankly I don’t think any Nigerian-American is better than I am or has more opportunities. Why should we gather our money to dash foreign hospitals who treat you like crap?” It went on and on and on.

I decided to quit harping on the issue and leave it to God. I told God, “I desire for this boy to have things I didn’t have. I want him to have open doors and whichever door he decides to go through is up to him through Your leading. HOWEVER, if it is not your will, let S remain adamant. If it is your will, let him change his mind WITHOUT any further pressure from me”. It turned out it was God’s will. 😀 The whole planning and execution was taken over by God Himself and all went smoothly.

To be continued… *** Today, and related to the above, I want to discuss how to handle opposition especially when you are certain that you are on the right path and your opinion is superior. Always remember: -You are probably wrong and your opinion is probably inferior; -You can’t achieve much through argument. At its best, your now ‘opponent’ brings forward strong points aimed at beating yours. At its worst, there’s a total shut down and you may be tempted to falsely believe you have won. In fact, then, you are the loser; -Let it go by thinking of what will happen if you don’t have your way. In my case, my baby would have been born in St Ives or Premier? Ehn ehn? Where was I born and how has holding a single nationality held me back? Where was my father born? Who is the American in my life that I’m looking up to as the beacon of light and exemplification of opportunities?

I began to prepare myself mentally for a resolute ‘no’ from S and I became fine with the decision. This helped me not to be so desperate in my attitude which would have irritated S and probably made him insist; and -Pray to God to take control. He knows the right way and be ready even where God’s answer is NO! A lot of couples fight their way through decision-making and end up losing sight of what is truly important.

Birthing abroad is not worth my marriage. Sending your child to a fancy 350,000 per month day care is not worth your marriage where your spouse disagrees. Not/having a honeymoon in the fanciest resort is not worth your marriage. Keeping up with the Joneses is sooo not worth your marriage. Interestingly, the art of joint decision-making starts on a large scale when a couple begins to plan their marriage/wedding.

Decisions around where to live, how many people to invite to the event, whether to have a photo booth, whether to engage an expensive decor company or use your fiancé’s aunty who does ‘decorations’ and all she has in her resume is decorating the church pulpit with a few drapes and balloons. The list is endless. You need to know what is very important to you and let others go.

Even with those “very important” things, your presentation is key. Being confrontational never works. Even where the other party budges, it is usually with bitterness and probably resentment and they feel bullied and helpless and hate that! This point is also apt in other areas of life where teamwork is at play be it deciding on a presentation in a team at work, deciding when to keep quiet in a presentation/client meeting and letting your colleague speak for the team, or even planning a baby/bridal shower for a dear friend. I have seen people literally bulldoze their way through decision-making in groups set up to plan showers.

Even if you are the mom to be or bride’s twin sister and best friend since fertilisation of the egg, you should not treat these tasks as though you are a commandant handling your subjects. When you notice people just keeping quiet and only you are doing the talking, then there is a problem and you have lost people who either are too fed up based on their previous experiences with similar dictatresses or just love their friend too much to be the one protesting because sure enough, you will report ‘difficult’ people to the bride/mom to be.

I have seen people being charged as much as 10/20k for showers with elaborate themes and ideas for a bride who is financially challenged and would have her sensibilities offended at such ‘wastage’. You need to know who you are planning stuff for and not forget it is not for you and be reasonable in all you do. I digress. This :

Source: http://citifmonline.com/

OR This:

Source: http://www.muyiwaoshin.com/

I know that in every team, there MUST be a leader who when it comes down to it, their views PREVAIL. In marriage, it is the man (yes, throw banana peels at me). But always allow for differing opinions and invite them. They can either make you see the folly in your choice, improve on your views or reinforce your decision as being the right one. But never make it look like a dissenter is an enemy or a party pooper. If after attempts to be inclusive there is still no consensus, then and then only may you hit the gavel on the sound block.

So people, what are your thoughts on teamwork and decision making therein?

Should husbands’ views prevail? When he says no, do you go ahead against his will or sulk?

As a husband, would you put your foot down or allow views you don’t agree with fly?

As a team leader, do you believe in letting everyone have a say or does this lead to confusion?

Let’s muse! Temiville.xoxo

Pregnancy Chronicles 1: How I got pregnant

LOL! More like “Pregnancy Chronicles” not HOW it happened… *tongue out*

I got married in April and saw those twin lines on Sunday the 1st of June. I still remember exactly how I felt. Thank God, I’m not barren and will not have any problems conceiving. All of my teenage years were filled with trepidation over conception and birth. I was so frightened that I will have to be going from one Pastor to one Gynaecologist about getting pregnant as I had been surrounded with people who had struggled with this and the thought left me so numb with fear. I was also Team #GiveBirth9MonthsPostWedding and I confess that I wept when I saw my first post wedding period *covers face*. I won’t bore you with the details but I scared the hubs who must have been thinking, ‘what can of woman have I married o who’s bothered about not having conceived in 2 weeks of marriage. What will she do in 2 years?’

So yeah, what prompted me to do a test? The hubs noticed a cluster of pimples on my face and teased me about it. Well, I wasn’t finding anything pregnancy related funny so I proceeded to the closest MedPlus and got myself a test kit, read the instructions about 5 times then woke up bright and early the next morning to make sure the first day’s pee wouldn’t be diluted by water, pee-ed on the stick and said a prayer. TWO LINES!!! I repeated the test on the second morning because of false positives and voila!!! A confirmation!!!

After being excited for a few minutes, paranoia set in: Will I be a good mom? Wait mom lohun lohun…will I miscarry? Will my child have defects and be sick as I had consumed some alcohol the week before? Will I have pregnancy ailments? Will I be fat and ugly with spots and swollen feet? Will my child be okay in there? I couldn’t believe how I became so obsessed with everything and so worried. I couldn’t accept the good news and be happy. I kept reminding myself that anything can go wrong so keep calm and take care of your child.

I ended up having a relatively easy pregnancy but it didn’t start easy. I remember my poor driver having to park on Third Mainland Bridge whilst I proceeded to empty the contents of my insides on the tarred road. I remembered how my colleagues nicknamed me Tsunami because mo man sun gan (I slept a lot), I remember how I would bleed for no reason and was convinced I had hurt my baby. I remember being diagnosed with fibroid and googling fibroids in pregnancy and being worried the growth will squash my baby. I remembered all the people I know who had died in childbirth and was worried praying hard that my baby will not call another woman mother. I remember my first naughty sip of coffee and how my baby kicked so hard after and was convinced that I had made him high on caffeine. So many fears.

All through, my hubs, S, kept me grounded. “Temi, where is your faith?”, he once asked. “You will pray and pray yet worry and worry. Is that not a sign that you truly don’t believe in God’s ability to take care of you?” Those words bore into my core and I decided to trust God and let Him take care of both myself and our child.

Little Peanut

S wanted a a little cute girl. I was indifferent. I just wanted a healthy child but I sure was happy when I discovered: It’s a boy!!!

It’s a boy!

To be continued…

Related to my Pregnancy Chronicles is this Question: Why do (Most) Nigerian women keep their pregnancy low key? In my defence, I still went for many weddings and parties and hung out a lot with my big belly. My Instagram pictures (@temiville) were never all bump though and only those with a gift for identifying even a week pregnancy could tell. Some people believe it is fear that people (aye) will hurt their baby. For me, I just didn’t see the need really. Amidst battling with severe morning (make that ALL FREAKING DAY) sickness, I just hardly had any post worthy photos. I did put these one up once though:

6 months gone

I saw this hilarious yet true post once and couldn’t help but chuckle at how much I can relate.

Before I got pregnant, I remember asking a pregnant friend excitedly “when are you due?” I got daggers in her stare for an answer. Other questions that engender paranoia in preggies in Nigeria include: “is it a boy or a girl”? I have once gotten “It’s a healthy child” LOL! I hated my belly being rubbed though but not for spiritual reasons. I just hated the feeling but I once invited a few colleagues to feel for kicks.

For me, at work, as a newly married lady, I started getting the knowing glances way before I conceived. Every sneeze, cough or (heaven forbid) menstrual pain earned me the “congratulatory look”. LOL! I tried to keep it coded for the first 12 weeks just in case my earlier described fear materialised. I really didn’t wanna hear any “peles”.

One lesson I have learned is to stay grateful for everything and trust God who has begun a good thing to see it through to completion.

Ice Ice Baby!!!

Pregnant woman showing off her belly with her unborn son

So what your views guys? Would you announce your pregnancy? Would you announce your baby’s sex or would you wait till you have the baby and write “Welcome Princess/Prince”? Do you get irked by those who are clearly pregnant yet hide it or worst still outrightly lie when you ask or send you a 🙂 smiley? I remember one of my very good friends whose bridesmaid I was who outrightly denied being pregnant when I asked yet 4 months after announced: Thank you Jesus for our beautiful son. Welcome to the world!

Looking forward to reading your views…

Temiville.xoxo

Surprise!!!

Hey my lovelies!

Long long time. I’m sure you are all thoroughly fed up of my apologies after each long hiatus. Please vex not. This time around, I have a very good excuse: I got married!!! Whoop whoop!!! lol!

Yes, on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning in the wonderful month of April at about 9:45 am, yours truly became a Mrs. After all my blogging on relationship, dating, marriage, I finally became a wife and have to start practising all my epistles. Hehe.

I must confess, it has been interesting. I’ve been married for only 16 days so I’m not exactly an authority on the marriage topic but I thank God for how far He has seen us through and I am very hopeful of a great and beautiful tomorrow all by His grace.

I intend to start a series. In fact I have so many many beautiful plans for this blog. I intend to write about my relationship (which I never do) but in the form of a story. I intend to give practical tips to brides to be on planning a wedding. I intend to start a prayer series for newbies in marriage etc. I intend to publish some of my stories that are gathering dust in the folder. So many things on my mind. But for now, I just want to do a little dance.

Here is our picture as we were being prayed for.

 

Thank God for all His mercies. I am happy to be back blogging though I doubt I can manage more than 2 posts per week. I’ll try to stay consistent henceforth.

Thank you for all your beautiful messages to those that knew.

Have a wonderful week ahead and let’s remember to say a word of prayer for our Nation.

 

Loads of love,

Temiville.xoxo

 

All I can say is THANK YOU JESUS!!!

 

Dear Lord,

I’m acknowledging You for who You have been in my life. You have shown Yourself strong and mighty in my life. You have given me my heart’s desire and you have answered my prayers.

I started Law School in 2012 determined yet scared because of the stories I had been swamped with, stories of brilliant people failing the exams and retaking it 4 times. I was told that because I was not familiar with the system, I should aim not to excel but to merely pass. But I dared to dream because You oh Lord God reminded me that Your thoughts towards me are thoughts of good and not of evil to give me my hopes and dreams and bring me to an expected end. You said to me, ‘Temiloluwa, fear not. Only believe’.

Lord, I remember all that period in Bar 1, how you helped me. Thank You Jesus. Lord You saw me through and brought the Adeniyis into my life. Father, please bless them immensely for my sake. They are simply AMAZING! I was a part of the family and together myself and all my newly discovered sisters worked hard and prayed hard everyday and every night. God, I thank You because none of us was found wanting.

I remember the tears when I just wasn’t getting the whole Capital Markets system. I remember my frustration when I was just not calculating the scale of fees properly. At first, mortgages, as a topic, was a blur. God, I did not know how I would draft a statement of claim, statement of defence, affidavit and written address in such a short period. I certainly had no clue that to perfect charges in Corporate law was not as simple as Governor’s consent, stamping and registration. Getting my sections right for Criminal Procedure Code, Criminal Procedure Act and Administration of Criminal Justice Law was sometimes a challenge. Memorising the procedure for Matrimonial Causes drove me to chant in my dreams.

But on the day of each exam, I AM THAT IS I AM came through. You gave me wisdom and knowledge and understanding and for these, I praise You Lord.

As my scripts were being collated, not one got missing. My scores were not wrongly calculated. I did not write a wrong number on my script. Father, so many many things could have gone wrong. But for You oh God!

At 2:30 am on the 1st of November, I was awoken by Adanna. ‘Temi, results are out’ was the message all over my BB. With anxiety, I went to the Nigerian Law School website and clicked on the Results tab, selected 2013 Bar Finals Result. I typed my Examination number and then it said ‘Loading Result’. My heart was pounding. My fingers were shaking. I broke out in a cold sweat. 4 seconds felt like 4 hours. But when I saw the grade, Jesus, You had me rolling on my floor in joy. THANK YOU JESUS! I cannot stop praising You dear God.

That same day Lord, as if the blessing was not enough, You gave me a job in the best law firm in Nigeria! Jesus, when You do Your thing, we earthlings just marvel. Thank You God!

I am thankful Lord. I do not like putting myself out there. But because I mentioned Your name on this blog, asking You to help me with Law School and most recently, with a job, I cannot but let the world know that we serve a prayer answering God who has done what I asked of Him. I honestly could not have asked for better. I am where every degree I have is recognized and not made to seem irrelevant. I am where my NYSC of 2011 is recognized. God, You really do order people’s steps. All I can say is THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Thank You for amazing people around me, amazing friends and my amazing family. Thank You Jesus! I trust You for grace to excel at work and for wisdom to carry myself with grace and honour and diligence.

May my life continually show forth your praise and most importantly, may I make Heaven and take many many people along with me. Amen.

Your daughter,

Temiloluwa.

Omo Ondo ni mi :D

Hi people!!!

So I’m on a weeklong Easter break from Law School and during this break, I plan to study and also blog so I’m just here sitting at my desk remembering all the stories I planned to share once I get out of my self-imposed hiatus.

I went to Ondo last weekend and it was quite the trip. We were in the car for hours but I thoroughly enjoyed it. That made it the second time I would be in Ondo state and I actually think I want to go more often. I saw a resort-esque place there. Not a bad getaway from all the busyness of Lagos at least a weekend a year or a weekend in 2 years. Lovely experience!

Yes, I’m from Ondo and as you can tell, I don’t come from a family where going home every holiday is mandated or even encouraged. But I felt this feeling of peace when I entered the place. I was like ‘so this is where daddy grew up. This is the state he went to primary and secondary school and would walk for miles on his bare feet etc’ (oh sorry, that was Jonathan not my dad, lol) I really enjoyed it. I guess as you get older you begin to appreciate all these little things more. Do you guys go to your hometown often? I don’t mean those of you from Ibadan or Abeokuta o :p. That one is not village. I mean far distances. Or you are discouraged from taking long trips ‘before something bad happens’?

I think it’s good to experience it once in a while. I’m actually from Ile-Oluji. I intend to visit one of these days and see how it is there.

Meanwhile enjoy these pictures of my beautiful state of origin…

Governor Mimiko

Dancers

Diet/Lifestyle Change

Hi people,

Howdy? A few people such as IBK have asked about my lifestyle change and I want to share it with you all in this post. The key each day is that I must use more than what I take in. This means I must use up more calories than I eat. That was the cause of this whole weight gain in Bwari. I mean, from crazy Lagos driving, working in a busy Law firm, going up and down, I found myself in a place where it was from my room to class to mammy to eat and back to my room. And yet, I ate the same portions I would eat during my days of having a tight and busy schedule in Lagos. My body, for the reduced work it was doing, certainly didn’t need so much food anymore. In order to maintain my weight, I should have cut my food by a quarter and in order to lose weight, by a half. Anyways, all that is neither here nor there. The issue is what am I doing  NOW to deal with the situation.

Well, I start my day with 2 cups of water. I’ve read that drinking ice cold water first thing in the morning is an easy way to speed up your metabolism. Right when you wake up, drink a glass or two of cold water. Your body will have to warm up the water entering your system, which means increasing your metabolism in the process. It’s a simple step to add into your daily routine that, while not a miracle cure, can certainly contribute to your other weight loss efforts (http://www.fitday.com)

I LOVE coffee!

At about 8 am, I have my cup of coffee with less sugar and milk than I would normally use (don’t bother advising me against coffee- the name of my blog should be instructive in this regard :p). That carries me till about 11am when I have king size portion of fruits- I love pawpaws because the sugar content in them is low and they are so filling and have great effects on the skin.

So I have what will equate to 2 N50 slices of hard pawpaws. By 4:00/4:30, I am ready for what will end up being my only meal of the day. I still eat rice, yam but very reduced portions. So my plate has less whites and more colors. I have vegetables with my meal and drink loads of water. I have little portions of nuts during the day as my snack. At 8/9, I have more fruits and that’s it!

This is different from when I’d starve myself or skip meals. Now I always feel filled but I’m now filled with the right stuff that is good for me. My portions are small but not so small that I’d be craving another meal in a few hours.

I believe this kinda diet is sustainable. I also do a lot of housework that gets me sweating. I was sweeping and mopping yesterday and sweating like no man’s business. I’m not so great with the gym and always waste my membership so I have to figure out how to make diet work . I also pray to God for strength. I have reduced my Coke intake and have more water instead.

I have also stopped checking the scales every time or expecting tight clothes to automatically be free. I’m okay with the change taking two months to start being apparent remembering that my weight gain took a whole 3 months to build up. I have 4 inches to lose all over. So my waist needs to go back to 27 etc. Right now, clothes are fitting better and I feel better within. The changes are small but I celebrate them. If I can get back to my pre-Bwari size by the end of December 2012, I shall be a happy bunny. I also watch loads of weight loss videos on YouTube for inspiration. Check this one out:

Do you guys have any additional tips to share?

Temiville.xoxo

November!

Hi people!

Thank God for the grace to see a new month! I’m really thankful for my friends, family, readers, my country. God has been faithful. One more month and 2012 is over! Woohoo! Yes, I might not have achieved every single thing I set out to do, but for those I have accomplished, I am grateful to God. I pray great things will keep happening to all of us in Jesus’ name. Amen.

A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine who I believe God just blessed with the best body size in the world. She is tall, slim, fit, great body. I remember looking at her back then in Bwari and thinking to myself: Nawa o, shebi this is a human being. Eating and yet normal.

I was frustrated with myself for every little extra weight I put on. I went into all manners of diets in Bwari. In the month of August, I went on a no carbs diet, totally shunning rice yet no change. I would deprive myself and be upset at what I can’t have and then comfort myself that today’s deprivation is tomorrow’s body. Yet nothing. I would go jogging in the mornings, nothing. In fact, since I got back home a few weeks ago, a total of eleven people have said things along these lines: Temi, nawa o. You must have been really enjoying in that your village of Bwari. You’ve chopped up. I would smile sweetly in response and not even bother denying it. Inside, I was so upset. Those who were too polite to say it gave me the ‘you’re fat’ look. Either way, I got the message!

So yeah, I got chatting with this super slim, super fit friend and I asked her if she was on any diet half expecting her to give me the ‘oh no, I’m just naturally slim’ talk. To my shock, I got this response:

“Yes o. I’m on a diet. I don’t eat carbs at all. I have boiled egg in the morning and vegetables in the afternoon. All my meals end at 2pm. If I’m hungry later, I have a cracker and that’s it.”

I was speechless. Wow. So even this perfect looking girl was doing something to look so perfect. Now this brings me to my point…

***

It’s very easy to look at people that seem to have it right and credit it to their good fortune forgetting that a good chunk of people put in the work to get the results. Some people look like they have the perfect job that gives them all the nice perks. You don’t know how hard they pray and work. Some people seem like their marriage is just so amazing. You do not know how much the woman has to forgo her own desires and submit to her husband’s. You don’t know how hard it is for that man to love his wife in the way Christ commanded. You don’t know how much prayer has gone down. You don’t know how some people wake up at 4:30 am to command their mornings in order to have the perfect day you always think they have. You don’t know the struggles. You don’t know the sacrifices. You only see the result. And then you say: I wish I had that kind of marriage. I wish I had that job, the list is unending.

My point is this: nothing good comes easy-not for you and certainly not for the next guy that has things going good. Pray, put in the work and by God’s grace, you will achieve your goals.Now, I’m not sure I can do the no food after 2pm thingy, but I started a form of diet about 2 weeks ago that is more of a lifestyle change and I’m already seeing changes. I just cannot be fat mehn!

Have a lovely week ahead! God bless and keep us all. May the ills of the ‘…ember’ months not be ours nor our families’ in Jesus’ name.

Love,

Temiville.xoxo

Bar Part 1 is over!

Hi people,

I won’t even go into details of how much of a while it has been. It’s been too long mehn. But yeah, Bar Part 1 is over!!!

Just a quick recap: after running away from it for almost 4 years, I decided to go to the Nigerian Law School in June. I knew without an iota of doubt that this is EXACTLY what I wanted. Plus, after interning with two Magic Circle law firms (Naija version) and seeing the emphasis placed on seniority at the bar (especially in one of them), I gave myself brain and decided that -3 is better than -4. I mean, I had some of my juniors from Secondary School giving me files to carry and asking ‘Temi, how far with the assignment I gave you?’ *wails uncontrollably*. Anyways, as my dad will say, humility will only take you higher and so, I am learning to be humble and trust God’s plans and timing for my life. The consolation I have is that at least, I wasn’t playing during my post LLB years and I do not regret the decisions I have made in life. HOWEVER, note of warning: He who hath ears, let him hear. If you are planning to practice as a lawyer in Nigeria, as soon as you are through with your LLB or max LLM, fly straight to Bwari and begin your law school programme. Do not even try chilling and hustling for work in Jand or Yankee UNLESS you intend to stay back because frankly, the experience doesn’t do that much for you. I have said my piece.

Ok, so I am done with Bar Part 1 and will soon commence the second, main and final leg of the programme. When I started law school, I got a lot of advice from those that were on their Bar 2 programme saying things like, ‘Temi, you like to stress yourself, you better relax and save all your zeal for Bar 2’, ‘Bar 1 is a joke, you can study a day before and do well’, ‘Why on earth are you organising a Study Group? Go to La Liga, go to Elim, go to Play, chill, relax, have fun, it’s just Pass or Fail’. All I can say is THANK GOD I DID NOT LISTEN!!! I can tell you for free that Bar 1 is not a joke. Not unless you are a risk taker. I am not. Aside of the huge sum of money the BL costs, I really have no interest in coming out of exams and not certain that it went well. My friends and I all agree that if we hadn’t studied hard, burnt the midnight oil, we would have really struggled. It wasn’t entirely a piece of cake. But I thank and trust God sha.

Thank You Lord for the successful completion of Bar 1. Trusting You for the Bar 2.

Onto the next 1!

Yay!!! Nominated in 2 categories!!!

Eshe pupo! Thank you people. Despite my absenteeism, you have all chosen not to pull an ‘Outta sight, outta mind’ on me and for this, I am so so so grateful.

MCLA was nominated in 2 categories: Best Writing Blog and Nigerian Blog of the Year!

 

 

I’m especially excited because I realised nominations were open really late into the exercise so to have made it makes me happy. Actual voting to win starts on Monday!!!

This is the push/motivation I need, lol.

Love loads,

Temiville.xoxo