Taking stock

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Wowzers, 31st of January is here already!!! Unbelievable! The speed of time is really almost mind-numbing. I hope we’ve all had at least a relatively fulfilling month. I think today will be a good day to reflect on the past four weeks, what we’ve achieved and what we’ve not been able to accomplish yet. I intend to take stock, to think of all the things I planned to have sorted out by now and assess my success. To be honest, this is how this entire year will fly past. We need to be wise and redeem the time, making sure that nothing catches us unawares.

I learned the importance of setting goals, strict yet reasonable goals. Not the types that we will start and give up on half way due to the extremity of it. We need to be very reasonable, doing things bit by bit. I have started setting daily goals for myself instead of sticking to monthly ones only. The daily ones help me know how close I am to the monthly ones.

This month has been a month of growth for me. I have learned a lot about life in these few weeks. I graduated this month. I completed a type of training course as well which has exposed me to the SAP world (which I once was totally oblivious to). I also stood in front of the God’s people to speak on His word during Bible Study. By the way, can I add that I was promptly tempted on the very same message I spoke on almost immediately? The devil, my friends, aint playing. He doesn’t chill and wait for you to gain strength. He attacks randomly and without any form of warning. I also was able to overcome by the grace of God, so for that I’m also thankful.

20 February

February is a very very special month for me on so many levels but most of all, because it is my birth month. I was born on the 20th of February so yes, if you don’t wish me happy birthday, I shall hound you! I have forewarned you oh!!! hehehe.

This year, February also represents a month of decision for me. I’m going to have to take some important steps which I’m totally depending on God for wisdom on how to go about them. I know He will always come through for me, ALWAYS. And remember, don’t take any step nor make any move without first consulting the Holy Spirit. It does help avert unnecessary stress and delay.

So guys, get thinking. How has your January gone? What have you achieved? Celebrate them by thanking God and giving yourself a pat on the back. You have done well! What opportunities have you missed out on? Why? How can you ensure you do not repeat the same mistakes in February? Don’t take anything for granted. Every moment matters…a lot.

Have a lovely Monday,

Here is another one of my grad pictures. I had to crop off my friend because I didn’t ask for permission to put his picture up (don’t wanna get sued, lol)

Temiville.xoxo

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Songs that move me

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Hi people,

Hope your past week went well. Mine has been like a soap opera. Orishirishi! But anyways, thank God for Jesus. I can do all things through His strength…even feature in a soap, hehehe…

Just thought to share with you some of my tear-inducing songs. I hope I don’t sound melancholy, lol. I really am not oh…

DOWN AT YOUR FEET

IJOBA ORUN

SEUN RERE

SWEET MOTHER

This is not all. I shall be back today 😀

Temiville.xoxo

How I got over Murphy

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I once had a dog, Murphy. I got him as a little puppy. He was barely a few days old. He was the absolute cutest animal in the world to me. I was so smitten and the love was not unrequited. I spoiled him silly. He refused anything but bread soaked in Cowbell Milk as a puppy. When he grew, I was regularly patronising Tantalisers and Mr Biggs for their left overs (do people still do that?). He was so faithful to me. He loved all the members of my household but everyone knew exactly where Murphy’s allegiance lay. It was to me…alone. I loved him dearly.

One day, Murphy started acting strange. Instead of jumping on me in glee each time I returned from school, he would be in his little house, refusing to move. I thought he was just fronting at first but then, after two days of his strangely lazy behaviour, I knew something was wrong and so I took him to the Vet near ours. That was my first visit there so we had to register him and all. After checking up on Murphy, the Doctor delivered the news of Murphy’s illness. He had worms and we were prescribed some drugs which I administered to Murphy religiously.

Two days after the visit to the Vet, I woke up to see how Murphy was getting on. I could not find him in his little house. I called out, ‘Murphy’, ‘oh Muuuuurrrpppphy’, he did not respond with his usual bark. I searched everywhere. Under the cars, every room, every nook and cranny. There was no Murphy. I even asked the Aboki if Murphy had strolled out. No one had seen him.

That was how the search party began. All my brothers, my mom and even my dad who is not a fan of dogs started searching. We looked everywhere. We could not find him. Suddenly my brother screamed, ‘Ah!’ from the Boys’ Quarters. I knew it had something to do with Murphy. I ran into the back of the house to see what the matter was. The sight my eyes beheld made my knees go weak. There laid Murphy before me. He had gone into one of the abandoned rooms, to the back of a chair, had curled up in a ball and died.

I cried. I refused to be comforted. I even saw a little tear drop down from my eldest brother’s eyes. I could not eat. I mourned my best friend, Murphy for days. It was really bad.

The best way, however, that I could devise for handling the pain of the loss was to find a replacement, fast. So I was given a little Alsatian puppy which I promptly named Murphy. I had finally found Murphy’s replacement. Things were once again going to be as they before were.

However, things were never the same. Murphy the Second (Murphy II) was very faithful and loving to me but each time I called out to him, ‘Murphy’, it felt wrong. Eventually, he too passed away. But this time, I did not grieve.

***

The truth is that so many times we lose something either through our mistake or maybe God wants us to learn something and so, He withholds it from us. Immediately this loss occurs, we are quick to do something about it. It might not be death like Murphy’s case. It might be a relationship gone wrong (platonic or otherwise), a business proposal declined, an application rejected…Because we are so much in a hurry, we lose the moral of the experience. We don’t learn the lesson. We fail the test and we will eventually have to retake it. But unfortunately, we don’t know what it takes to do better next time, how to rewrite a good proposal, how to construct a winning cover letter, how to be better to our partner. We want to quickly find a QuickFix solution: we get someone to take their place, send out many more proposals and applications, keep moving on without taking a moment to reflect.

In my case, if I taken time to learn from Murphy the First’s death, I would have known that I should have taken my dog to the Vet regularly. I would have known how to protect my dog. When I found a replacement, I still lost it. Why? Because I repeated the first mistake. I did not learn.

How I got over Murphy was foolish. I ended up losing him again due to not learning from the first experience. Learn from yours. If there’s anything you are going through now, don’t be in a hurry to quickly find your solution. Instead, analyse the situation. Ask yourself, ‘where did I go wrong? How did I err? How can I avoid this in the future?’ Experience is only the best teacher when you take the class and pass the test. Otherwise, you will keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high. No need to pay it twice.


Just thought to share this today.

Love lots,

Temiville.xoxo


Choosing my battles that I may win the war

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I have this friend who had this friend who had this boyfriend who would offend her on a regular basis. She was regularly complaining about him. She was advised to end it with him, think things through and then decide if she really wanted to live her life like this. But each time she tried to declare their relationship over, he would chastise her for being so off handed and quick to give up. In his words, if they were married and he did something wrong, was that the same manner she was going to throw in the towel and ask for a divorce? He would also tell her that the devil (him) she knew was better than the amazing boyfriend she was hoping to meet after him after all, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush ahead…

These words, however lame you and I know they are, always struck a nerve and so my friend’s friend decided to prove that she was a strong woman. A woman, who like our mothers, has the capacity to handle a lot. So she stayed on in her relationship, kept on complaining to my friend, kept on accepting what she knew to really be unacceptable, kept on being a Proverbs 31 wife-in training. In her mind, she was preparing herself for marriage which at the end of the day, is not exactly a walk in the garden.

A while after, her boyfriend did the breaking up himself. This was not to date someone else, he claimed, but to ‘discover himself’. Plus, according to him, at 27, he was too young to marry and he was feeling pressured by her (they are age mates). This is exactly how a 3 year long relationship came to a painful end (painful for the girl, at least). Now, it’s all over.

***

I believe it is good to be strong. I believe you should be resilient. I believe you should be a fighter. But more importantly, I believe you should wisely and prayerfully pick those battles you engage in. Why waste energy and time on a battle that is not yours? It is good to hold on but please only hold on to what is yours?

Don’t waste your energy over what does not belong to you. The poor girl held on to who she thought was the one for her and started practising patience, long suffering and perseverance. These qualities are good. Every woman who wants to keep her home needs them (I am told). However, they should only be played out in the right way and on the right recipient. Don’t spend days fasting and praying for changes to take place concerning a situation you really have no business being in in the first place.

The Bible teaches us something I find so deep and so applicable today. Matthew 7:6 says, ‘Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.’

Do not cast your pearls before swine. What exactly was Jesus on about here? What are pearls? Your pearls are those things of value to you and eventually, to your destiny. What of swine? What/who are these? Swine are the unappreciative and undeserving people or situations of life. The people and situations God has not planned for you to be a part of. In other words, worthless/fruitless pursuits.

Your time is your pearl, don’t waste it on fruitless ventures. Your domesticated nature is your pearl, don’t go cooking for any man (or woman, as the comments on a recent post reveal that men cook greatly too) who is using you. Don’t be cleaning, washing and playing ‘wifey’ to someone that is not yours. Your body is your pearl, value it and don’t dishonour it. Don’t engage in pre-marital sex!!! As a matter of fact, your body is God’s pearl too so you need to be extra careful here. Your money is your pearl, don’t spend it on greedy girls who have no genuine interest in you all in a bid to impress. Your energy is your pearl, save your stress for more worthy ventures. Your words are pearls, be a person of few but wise words and speak them only to people who are not going to act as swine, turning every phrase against you.

All these being said, how then can we identify pearls and swine? How do you know if a particular venture is going to end up being a swine? How do you know if that plan is really worth it and you should keep at it or whether you should, like the girl earlier spoken of, up and leave? How?

Only God can give us this information. This 411 belongs to Him. He alone can reveal the deep and secret things to us. Imagine your phone when you buy it or sign up to a contract. If you have any problems with the contract, do you not immediately call the customer service department? If the phone is beginning to act weird, do you not refer to the manual to find out how exactly its manufacturers expect that situation to be dealt with?

God is our maker. He has the blueprint of our lives before Him. He knows what exactly we should be doing everyday. He knows who we should be with, the applications we should make and the jobs we should take. He knows ALL. Who better to turn to for leading and direction than God?

PROVERBS 3: 5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.


He alone can tell you whether to keep holding on or to jejely give up and move on swiftly. He alone can tell you whether that investment is going to yield returns or turn out to be the worst thing you’ve ever done. Why take chances? Let us learn to turn to God for wisdom. He is our General in this war of life. He will tell us which battles to fight so that we may eventually go on to win the war.

…Pick your challenges wisely. Don’t expend energy on what will not profit much…

That’s all beautiful people (for now). Have a lovely Wednesday. Wow, it’s been a week already since grad day! Time dey fly oh! Make we use am well…

Enjoy this song…

God bless y’all!

Temiville.xoxo

When Patience lost her virtue…

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Hi guys! Thanks for all your congratulatory messages on my graduation. I shall be putting up pictures soon (when I get them). Thanks again. @ Shanday, lol at your comment on the 8 random things post, “I find wearing sunglasses at night so raze lolz. It is only acceptable if you have conjuctivitis or you are a comedian. Lolz” I actually laughed out loud! Thanks people.

This week, I want to focus on something that has been cropping up around me recently… Patience.

Patience is a beautiful attribute. I think it is from God. There are two sides to patience in my view.

1. Being kind and gentle with people.

2. Never being too much in a hurry to get things done.

I consider myself to be a very patient person (more in the ‘1’ sense though because when I want something done badly, I get it done fast). Well, some people are probably tearing their hairs out now screaming, ‘Temi you are not patient!’. But I honestly believe I am. I don’t spark for people ever. I do get angry (which human being doesn’t?). But this happens ever so rarely. Why? Is it because I have learned that sparking is for the weak? Is it because I am so holy? No! It’s because I try to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Harsh words hurt me so I wouldn’t dish out hurtful words to people.

Anyways, I came across someone who I believe is worse than I am in the patience department. Yes, worse. He is extremely shy and quiet. People have a tendency to walk all over him and I can see it. I tend to feel like Voltron with myself sometimes and defend defenseless friends but because he’s a guy, I’m a bit wary of doing so. I don’t want to emasculate him. You know how guys can get with their pride and all what not.

I probably will be one of those girls people would hate if they started dating such a guy because all such walking over will stop with immediate effect. As in, I would not scream or fight or defend him in public but I will prayerfully put an end to it. It is good to be nice. I think it’s an admirable quality. You should always try to help those in need. Never turn a blind eye to people. But there is a marked difference between being nice and humble and being a push over.

I once had that in me.  I could take all manners of nonsense from people. I was sweet smiley Temi who could never vex for people. A number of people treated that with appreciation and respect but a lot more took it for granted. So I decided to go to God in prayers and the changes that took place after were mind blowing. I became confident, bold yet still shy. I could address a crowd without feeling like the ground should open. I could tell you straight up when I felt offended in a calm yet firm manner.

That greatly helped my spiritual life too as I no longer harboured sadness or latent anger. I was a free birdy. Always smiling still but this time the smile came from a place of peace and confidence not out of a keen need to be accepted.

***

So if you are like my friend who gets every Tom, Dick and Harriet walking all over him, you’d do well to pray it out of you. I am not certain anyone would be genuinely happy with being taken for granted simply because you are known never to say ‘no’. God wants us to be bold yet loving and kind. It is all about living a balanced life. Patience is a virtue but when taken for granted, I’m thinking it can easily transform itself into a vice.

That’s all people (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

YESTERDAY SEEMS SO FAR AWAY…

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YESTERDAY SEEMS SO FAR AWAY

The leaves rustle silently in the trees

The blue bird chirps loudly and then flies away

The red Jaguar speeds past

The young student cycles away

***

It is a cold October morning

I never planned to meet you but I did

I never planned to speak but I did

We became close

***

How it happened, I can’t explain

But it did

You were my best friend

I told you all

***

I spared nothing

I gave you a lot

But I spared something

The days went by

***

I was happy

But I lacked joy

I laughed

But there was no peace within

***

I did not care

I just wanted to capture the moment

I wanted to bask in the ambience of ‘now’

Tomorrow could wait

***

December came

And with it great shame

For it was made known

You were never my own

***

The lies

The deception

The betrayal

The wickedness

***

How could you?

How could you look into the browns and lie

But deep in my heart I knew

The true fool was I

***

I dared fate

And it laughed me to scorn

But I was not prepared to let go

So I held on… and on

***

May was slow

The news came as a blow

I tried to prepare myself

For I knew it was to come

***

I see the stares

I notice the glances

Some mocking, others pitying

All painful

***

I see you looking happy but life goes on

The pain now, I can bear

The thread of sanity that I hold on to

Is the gift I never I never with you shared

***

The blue bird has gone quiet

The leaves are rustling loudly now

The Jaguar is now parked

The young student now runs to his class

Yesterday does seem so faraway

***An Ode To the Past***


That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

8 random things I wish someone could explain to me

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Hi people!!! It is 3 am this Saturday morning and I am blogging. Well it is because there are certain things I just don’t understand. They puzzle me. So I thought to muse on them 🙂

1. Men who (think they) cook well

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay if a man can boil egg, make indomie or even make rice and stew. But when a man starts questioning my egusi soup making technique or sharing yam porridge tips with me, I feel a bit worried.

I’m all about being depended upon in that department and must be honest, I would love that, ‘Oh I’ve been waiting on you’ look. Some people warn me, ‘Temi, you might like it now but it will eventually irritate you’ but that’s a risk I’m willing to take :p.

2. Women who cannot cook

I really don’t get the concept behind this. I’ve seen some women proclaim that, ‘I can’t cook’ as though it were something to be proud of. Whilst I do not hold the view that a woman’s abode is in the kitchen, every woman should be able to hold her own there (in my opinion).

3. The ‘Go Compare’ advert

I don’t get this commercial. I just don’t. That man is more than a bit annoying with his loud singing. The most annoying version was the when he did his little dance with some female dancers, I just kent!!! Here it is…

4. Girls who are snobbish especially to other girls

Why oh why?

5. (Fat) Men wearing skinny jeans

Men in skinny jeans amuse me enough not to speak of when they are big men. I don’t think it’s a good look for them. This picture doesn’t really explain my point well enough but I’m sure you catch my drift.

6. Overly long weave coming down your waist

I have seen some where the girl actually sits on her hair! I just don’t gerrit.

7. Faking  fone to a fellow Naija person

Some people think faking fone to anyone is crime enough but actually doing this to a fellow Naija is the height! It is especially amusing when for instance, you both finished Secondary School in Naija together but after 2 years in England, you can’t understand a word they speak anymore, lol. It cracks me up especially when it is mixed with their native accent!

8. Tribalism

One Nigeria?

This really puzzles me. It has eaten deep into so many people without them knowing. The first question people ask as soon as they hear you are Nigerian is, ‘where are you from?’ Is it not enough that I am Nigerian??? Even the most innocent of us has traits of being tribalistic. The idea of sticking to your own (especially in marriage) does my head in. If we can be so tribalistic then we have no right to blame those who are racist. Selah.

Just thought to share a piece of my random mind before going to bed this early Saturday morning.

God bless you all,

Temiville.xoxo

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