2010…

Aloha people!!! How are you all doing? Hope you’ve been doing well and enjoying the festive season. I just thought to write this final post to say a big ‘Thank you’ to everyone of you and most of all, to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus…

It has indeed been a lovely year. 2010 started well and is ending very well. I have learned so much this year. I have enjoyed wonderful friendships. God has been with and protected my family and loved ones.

I started this blog on the 1st of October 2010.  It was a bit tricky at first and quite challenging but because of people like you all, it is still standing. Thank you guys so much for everything. It has been an amazing year and I am so certain of greater things to come in 2011.

Love you all.*Off to watch night service*

 

That’s all folks (for this year)

Temiville.xoxo

Mother, where art thou?

Ever since dad remarried, things have gone from bad to worse and now, I can confidently say that they have plummeted to the worst. Ify, his new bride, has been an absolute nightmare to deal with. I know it is not right to hate people but I absolutely deeply dislike her with every fibre of my being. She is everything I’ve always loathed in a woman. She acts like a goody two shoes and most annoying of all, she is trying to fill our mom’s shoes. That that is an absolute impossibility! I didn’t attend their wedding despite the fact that she asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. For what? I’m sure that was just one of her strategies to get me to be on her side. One of her fellow scheming friends must have offered her that piece of advice. Well, she might as well tell them it’s not working on me!

***

Why dad had to remarry is still a mystery to me. He has us his kids. Myself, Lamide and Junior have been all he needs since mom passed on two years ago. The abruptness of his remarriage was mind-numbing not to mention the fact that he married mom’s friend’s younger sister, Ify. Who does that?

The way she schemed and wormed her way into our house and daddy’s life is quite legendary. The woman deserves a prize for her acting because I know she is fake. What happened on the 14th of September proves without reasonable doubt that she is the pretender I have always suspected her to be. I saw through all her holy holy act which dad fell for hook, line and sinker. She would pretend to be born again, screaming about the house in the mornings and robbing us of sleep yet all manners of deception lie in her.

My trusting dad

She plotted her way into being dad’s wife by making food and bringing it to the house in her big warmer. The first time she tried it, I emptied the contents of the container into the nearest bin. Dad was upset but quickly calmed down after a few minutes. I generally had my way with daddy. We were very alike. Both stubborn, yet loving at heart. However, my shrewdness and intuition, I got from mom. Dad fell easily for all the gimmicks that would never have swayed mom. The difference was that once my old man had his mind set on something, that was it.

I explained to dad that Saturday afternoon Ify brought food over that it was not necessary to eat the food because I had cooked all morning for the week and it would go to waste. My reasoning didn’t make much sense in my ears as I voiced them but they worked on dad. I was doubtful of her motives from Day 1. Who goes cooking for a man who has a 21 year old daughter? I could cook like crazy and Ify knew it so what was her point? Mom had instilled the importance of knowing how to cook in us to the extent that even Junior who is just 14 makes amazing beans.

Ify, like the sharp and crafty woman that she is would come to the house when I wasn’t in. She knew my routine and was aware that I would be on campus from Monday till Friday every week and that Lamide, my sister, was too nice to protest like I would. She was a softy like our mom. I was no softy. I took after my dad and that is why it hurt so much to watch him crumble before this woman.

***

All manners of ills have taken place since they got married and she moved into the house. Dad has stopped eating on the dining table with us all as was our tradition. He now questions us when we ask him for money. Even Junior gets questioned too. He no longer cares about the curfew he and mom set up for Lamide and I. He doesn’t care even if we come home or not. He barely notices our presence…or absence. He’s too wrapped up in his new bride.

He reduced our allowance without notice. He gave Ify the keys to mom’s car. The very same car he bought for her 45th birthday and had made mom cry in glee. He allowed all mom’s pictures in the living room to be put away despite my protests. Even Lamide, who is usually quiet, spoke out that day. We all wept bitterly. It was as though he wanted no more reminders of mom, forgetting that she and she alone can ever be our mother. He told me to keep he pictures in my room as it was ‘unfair for Ify to be seeing them day in day out’. Who gives a hoot what she feels?! In addition, he goes on impromptu extended holidays with this woman and asks his sister, Aunty Clara, to come and stay with us. Ify also had the nerve to redocarate the house from the biege, brown and cream theme mom, myself and Lamide had chosen and painstakingly sorted out to her totally off colours.

These and a lot more are the miseries I have had to endure in my own home. So I made up my mind two months ago to move out with my siblings and go to stay with Aunty Clara and Uncle Akin in Okota. It was far from where we lived but that was my intention exactly, to be as far away from them as possible. Lamide had been debating it and did not want to offend dad. Junior was ready to go but recently, seemed to have started warming up to Ify. I drove home from school one Frday evening to find Ify and Junior playing ludo on the balcony!

I badly wanted Ify to be treated like the plague that she is and the message needed to be drummed into dad’s ears. I had spoken to him severally, first clamly, then shouting, then sobbing. Nothing worked. Dad kept on asking me, ‘Tolu, what exactly has she done wrong?’. I gave him  a look that read, ‘what has she NOT done? She is an impostor and she needs to leave!’

Why oh why did mom have to go? Why was her cancer not healed? Why did she even have to get it in the first place and leave us at the mercy of this merciless world? I had been strong for all of us in the months after her funeral. We were all hurting but we were gradually healing. We were doing just fine…until she came.

***

One Monday morning, as I was getting ready to go back to school, I heard a noise down the hall so I left my room to find out what was going on. I discovered the noise was coming from mom and dad’s room. It was then I heard her throwing up violently and dad soothing her and they both laughing at a joke he told. I swallowed  a big lump of something in fear and trepidation. Could she be pregnant? My worst fear has just been realised, I thought as I hurriedly rushed to my room, packed my things, rushed out of the house, got into my car and drove off.

Pregnant!

Ify was so happy

***

I avoided the house after that incident. I got away with it easily because dad was now preoccupied with Ify and everything pertaining to her. A month after, I finally came home as it was going to be dad’s 53rd birthday and my younger ones and I had planned a small get-together for him and had invited his friends, mom’s friends and our relatives. I loved my dad with my whole being and no matter how much I believed he had made the wrong choice, he was still my father. Also, I didn’t want to give Ify the pleasure of playing hostess in my own home so I took charge of the arrangements, calling a caterer and sorting out the cake and drinks. His birthday fell on a Sunday but I decided to go home on Thursday afternoon because I pretty much had a free Friday and had lots of last minute loose ends to tie.

I met Ify decorating the living room. I greeted her in my usual cool manner and walked off not waiting or caring for a response. As I walked up the staircase, I immediately noticed something wrong. Our family portrait was missing! It usually hung on the wall so you could view it as you walked up the stairs. It was so huge and beautiful. It was an oil painting on canvas and we had it done in Italy five years ago. We all looked so happy and it was the most recent picture we had of mom before she was diagnosed with the disease that eventually took her life. I was furious. I was livid. I was mad! I could feel the hairs standing at the back of my neck and my blood began to rise in a boil as I dropped my bag on the staircase and stormed into the living room.

‘Where the hell is the portrait Ify?!’

She looked at me for about four seconds before calmly responding, ‘It’s in the storeroom Tolulope. Your dad and I decided that it would be nice to have it replaced with the more recent one…’

I don’t know which had annoyed me the most, her calm response in the face of my anger, her calling me ‘Tolulope’ or the actual response she gave me.

‘Which is?!’, I screamed.

Unperturbed by my loudness, she answered,

‘Well, your dad, myself, Lammie and Junior went to the studio last week Saturday when you refused to come home’.

‘First, she is Lamide to you’, I interjected sharply, ‘only our mother ever calls her Lammie. Secondly, how dare you take that picture down? How dare you?! I’m putting right back and if you dare lay your fingers on it again!’ I said wagging my index finger at her.

To my utmost surprise, she did what she had never done before. She retorted.

‘That’s it. I’ve had enough of your disobedience and rudeness. I have tried my best to be a wonderful mom to you all but you especially have always thwarted my efforts. You have tried my patience long enough and today, I will put an end to this’, she declared.

‘Ehn ehn, I knew it! I knew you are nothing but a bloody pretender! You try and stop me and I will show you madness!’.

The Fight

‘Rasaki, Rasaki!’ I yelled calling the gateman who promptly responded. I asked him to assist me in carrying  the portrait from the storeroom. As we lifted it together, Ify kept shouting behind us, ‘Rasaki, if you don’t drop that painting, I would have you sacked today!’ Rasaki ignored her like I told him to. He had been with us for almost 11 years so there was no way he was gettnig fired and he knew it.

As Ify followed us up the stairs, she must have lost her footing and tripped over her flowing boubou. My first instinct was to rush over to help her to her feet but I thought she was just pretending since she only tripped and nothing more. So I ensured that the portrait was back in its rightful spot before attending to her. Unfortunately, I was wrong and she was not pretending. She was writhing in pain and to my alarm, I saw three spots of bright red on her pink boubou. We rushed her to the hospital where dad joined us in no time.

***

It has been two weeks and four days since the incident. She had a miscarriage. But most shocking of all is her claim that I pushed her in my anger at her putting down the portrait. God knows I never did any such thing. Rasaki, my only witness has now been sacked. Dad has banished me out of his house and insists that he does not want to speak to or see me. I now stay with Aunty Clara. Everyone has pleaded with dad: Aunty Clara, Uncle Akin, all mom’s relatives and even dad’s relatives too. Even Ify and her sister (mom’s friend) have ‘begged’ too all to no avail.

I feel bad for Ify’s loss but why she had to lie against me is still a mystery to me. What joy could she possibly derive from a father and his daughter in enmity? Why did dad have to react so harshly. He has known me for 21 years. He should know my capabilities. As much as his remarriage brought no thrills to me, I would never hurt Ify, at least not physically. I am his daughter. His first child. To think that he would pick Ify over me is painful. It makes me miss my mom all over again as I question the reason why she had to die. Life is sure harsh but this was a bit extreme. I never imagined things would take this turn. Tears mean nothing to me now, I’ve shed so much of them, they don’t move the people around me anymore. Oh mother, where art thou?!

It all started badly…

I really did not want to put a ‘Merry Christmas’ post up today. Number 1: I’m alone as in ALL ALONE. Usually, with a Sidney Sheldon to hand, my Bible and my laptop, I can survive alone for long. But naturally, you see people looking all excited about Christmas and then you feel like there’s something you’re missing out on. I have no family around and I hate intruding on other people’s family time because I believe Christmas is a family thing therefore, I decided not to impose myself on the friends I have here. I know they would have been more than happy to have me around but it’s not just my way.

I remember my first Christmas away from home in 2006. I spent it with this amazing family, my mom’s friends. I think I was more miserable than I would have been had I gently stayed in my accommodation in Sheffield. At around 12 midnight, they all cuddled up together to wish each other a Merry Christmas. In the morning, they began opening presents. Of course, I knew there was nothing for me there and in a way, I was grateful that they did not even try to be fake and do oju aiye so I went to the room to sleep. I woke up at about 7pm. They had loads of visitors over. I helped out smiling all the way and that was it. It was a far cry from home. They tried their best to make me happy but really, it was so hard being away from home.

Anyway, back to 2010…I went to bed at about 3 am yesterday and my plan was to sleep till 1pm-ish so that I’d just pray, have a shower and then off to Choir Practice. That way, my all alone-ness on Christmas Day would not scream out at me. After Practice, I’d just go home, cuddle up in bed with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and watch any random new Yoruba movie or even ‘Alice My First Lady’ for the 4th time on YouTube, sleep off and then voila, the day would be over! But as you can predict, that was not to be. I was up by past 10am. I looked at my BB and there were loads of messages wishing me a Merry Christmas. I was feeling uber grumpy so I proceeded to ignore the forwarded ones (purplish font) and replied a brief ‘Merry Christmas’ to the personalised ones.

A friend put up pictures of all the cooking they were doing in her house on Facebook. Another droned on and on about stuffing a turkey. Each post got me even more depressed. I then went on Youtube, searched for Mary’s Boy Child by Boney M and that even made me feel worse as it reminded me of being home with my brothers and parents watching NTA  2 Channel 5! I called my family, wished them the Merry Christmas I was in no way feeling. My lacrimal glands were on over drive. I was so down!

It was then I thought to myself: Temi, what are you doing? You are falling for the enemies’ ploy! So what you’re all alone?! At least it is because you chose to be not because you were locked away in prison or on a hospital bed or something. If you badly need to be with someone, you have people you can call on. You chose to lock yourself in a flat all by yourself so please, snap out of it! That little admonition helped…greatly.

I got out my Bible and the first passage it opened itself to was so encouraging. I prayed and then did what ALWAYS cheers me up: I listened to a particular song on YouTube. It has never for once failed to put a smile on my face, however small. Today was no different. Despite the funny side to it, it always lifts my spirit because the message is sooo true and so pure. From that clip, others were suggested to me and within a few minutes, I was dancing and praising God for life and for my family.

All smiles now 🙂

I’m happy I didn’t give in to the voice of the enemy who wanted me to keep me being sorry for myself and crying all day that I’m not with my family. I’m happy I found myself again despite waking up feeling like rubbish and I am happy that I can genuinely wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS without simply trying to fulfil all righteousness which would have been the case had I done this 4 hours ago.

It's all about Jesus!

Merry Christmas to you all!!! May God bless you in all your ways. May goodness and mercy never elude you. May God’s love surround you and your loved ones. You shall not die but live to declare the works of the Lord in the land of the living. In happiness you shall go out and come back. No evil shall come near you. You will have enough to give out. You are a lender and not a borrower. God bless you so much guys! I really appreciate everyone of you.

And yea, you did not think I’d leave without sharing that song and the others with you, did ya? Here we go…

The ever uplifting song:

This one always brings joy to my heart:

I discovered this one today:

Yea, I’m sure by now you know I have a thing for the Igbo language and culture. There’s just something about it…

*Off to get ready for Choir Practice* Have a lovely day!

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Is that why we’re here?

My joy at your responses...

Hi people, thank you so much for all your encouraging words and comments. I see them all and I am so grateful. It’s funny how whenever I get back home each day, I rush…not to the kitchen for food, or to the living room for TV…but straight to my laptop to see what I’ve missed on MCLA and on Blogsville generally. I actually have it as an app on my phone but it’s never the same as being able to sit down and have a proper look at what has been going on in my absence. I think I’ve found my passion *sigh*

Anyways, on to the matter at issue today…

Yesterday night, well, more like this morning at about 1:30 am, my big sister/friend and I were having this conversation that I found so interesting and upon which I will dwell in a future post. Today, however, I shall be touching on an aspect of it. By now, you probably all know how much I love David. As in, I have deep love and admiration for him. He stood out in all areas. And most of all, he made mistakes. I love the Joseph and Daniel type of people but there’s something attractive about someone who has a story, someone who fell but has now risen again. Someone we all can relate to. Please, get me not wrong, there are loads to learn from Joe and Danny but the fact that there is NO single record of them doing anything wrong in the entire Bible, not even stealing-meat-from-the-cooking-pot type of sin, makes them on a different level. I learn from them a lot too but David is just a favourite of mine. I was rummaging through the story of David as King and the whole episode of him sighting a nude Bathsheba caught my eye again. This story can be found in 2 Samuel 11 but I’ll do a quick recap.

In those days, there was a particular time of the year when kings went out to war with the rest of their battalion. It was the rule and every king observed it religiously. However, this particular year, David was not in the mood. He decided to chill at home and instead ensured that his trusted men such as Joab were there. They were doing a good job so far and had succeeded in destroying the Ammonites and taking Rabbah siege. So, he probably felt comfortable…at least all was going well.

Bathsheba

One evening, David goes to his balcony to relax. Lo and behold, what does he see? A baffing bathing Bathsheba! Instantly, he was drawn to her, made quick enquiries about her and eventually slept with her. She got preggers. Once David found out, he sent for her husband, Uriah, who was also a soldier and tried to get him drunk so that he would go home and then sleep with his wife and they could then pin the belle pregnancy on him.

Uriah, however, was an extremely principled, no nonsense man. He got drunk, quite alright. But, he refused to go home and sleep with his wife (correct me if I’m wrong but I think soldiers, like footballers are not meant to be receiving or rendering due benevolence to their wives when on a mission). Uriah decided to sleep where the king’s servants slept that night. David was livid! His plan wasn’t working. So he decided to look for Plan B. Plan B was gruesome. It involved organising Uriah’s death. This one worked and that was the beginning of troubles in David’s kingdom and personal life. The problems that David had to face were many…

He eventually married Bathsheba but despite his fasting and prayers, the little child she bore unto him died of an illness. His son, Absalom slept with his wives on the rooftop and tried to take his kingdom from him. Another one of his sons, Amnon fell in love and raped his own sister, Tamar (David’s daughter). If you read the story of David, you will be amazed that he went through so much problems and yet God was still saying that he was the man after His heart. Something does not quite follow. How could God let a man after His heart go through so much pain? How? Why?

 

***

This is one lesson I have learned: Never take God’s love for granted. Don’t be thinking because He loves me, nothing bad can happen. If you mess up, something bad can definitely happen. God loved David so much, yet David still had to pay for his indiscretions. I also learned that God’s grace will cover you where ever He sends you. God sent David to war. He decided, ‘no, I’d rather stay home’. So many times, we are not where we should be. This opens us up to all manners of temptations. Had we been where we ought to be, we will definitely be fortified against the temptations that may arise. But in the situation where we are rebelling against authority, we are exposed. There is no assurance that when our Bathsheba is bathing outside, we would not be drawn to her and fall.

On a random note, sometimes I wonder about Bathsheba too. Why did she choose that location to go and have a bath knowing the vantage point it posed from Kind David’s veranda? Why? Looks to me that the woman knew what she was up to jare…

From the passage, I also learned that one unconfessed sin will lead to more sins and this time, ‘bigger’ ones. In David’s case, disobedience led to lust which led to adultery which led to scheming which eventually led to murder.

Sin never starts big. The devil is way too wise for that. He will never approach that nice sweet girl to sleep around. He knows she will blatantly refuse and banish him to blazes. So he will begin by telling her not to judge those girls who are rumoured to be ‘bad’ girls on campus. They might not be so bad after all. Next, he will tell her to hang out with them once in a while, ‘you could even share the Word of God with them’. Next, they will invite her out and he will tell her, ‘didn’t Jesus go to sinners’ houses to eat? Go with them and let them see Jesus in you. Let your light so shine so that they will glorify God in you’. From there, they will introduce her to drinking. The first day, she may refuse. The next time, it will be Gordon’s Spark or Alcohol with a lot of Red Bull so ‘there’s no big deal’. And gradually, she will fall. By the time she starts acting like them, she would have totally forgotten how it all began.

Falling is always a carefully strategised and calculated ploy of the enemy. Please don’t ever pull the ‘I’m strong. I can handle it’ card. You are NOT strong and you CANNOT handle it. The devil has been around for ages. Based on the simple ‘wisdom coming with age’ rule, he knows way more than you. He has seen your type over and over again and has devised methods that are almost fool-proof. This is why you should not try wrestling with the devil or putting yourself in temptation’s way by preparing a way for sin. Once the hedge is broken, the serpent will slip in.

Anyways, that is what I have gathered from the David and Bathsheba saga. God, in His Almightiness still brought the next King, Solomon, through Bathsheba and not any of David’s earlier wives. However, all the curses that God pronounced on David through Nathan came to pass. This reminds me of the fact that unto whom much is given, much is expected. God probably felt that David should know better which is why he wasn’t spared.

Since only God can keep us in check through His Word, we need to totally rely on Him and not on our own strength. Remember, by strength shall no man prevail. Pastors have fallen so please don’t think you cannot fall for the wiles of the devil. The only way you can prevent yourself from sinning is by putting on the entire armour of God and being on your guard AT ALL TIMES. No slacking. Remember, when men slept, the enemy came and sowed tares…

 

*off to stalk Tolu’s and Gbemisoke’s blogs*

 

The blog stalker!

 

By now, you probably have realised that my title is totally off. I’m random like that, hehehe…

 

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

“Why me?!”

 

Frustrated!

I am 28 and yet, unmarried. I can’t even boast of being the proud possessor of a boyfriend! All around me, I get invites to weddings and bridal showers. That tiny Bola who is just 22 years old got engaged two months ago. Even Chinedu, is married too and he is a guy! Temi, my best friend, got married 3 years ago and now all she does is go on and on about how her kids are growing so fast, how great her husband is and the third honeymoon they will be going on to Mauritius. I know it is the right thing to do but it’s soooo hard to be happy for her and the rest of them too without thinking about my own situation.

Each time I log on to Facebook and see a new ‘married’ status update or people congratulating another newly engaged or newly wedded friend, I get mad at God. God, why?! Why me? I’ve been nothing but faithful to You, doing all You ask, yet nothing. As I add the obligatory, ‘aww so cute’ and ‘I’m so happy for you’, I get even more bitter within me.

At the age of 18, me and my friends had a huge list of what our future husbands must possess. He had to be tall, handsome, rich (not our-level-kind-of-rich that is grateful to travel to Jand once a year on Economy oh, we wanted stinkingly rich, the-type -our-parents-will-call-rich kind of rich). He could only have one sister, max and preferably, a mom who was long gone or nice to a fault! He had to have his own house in a good area. Orile or Okokomaiko wouldn’t cut it. Also, he had to have a posh last name like Olu, Ade, Obi, Taylor, Jacobs. No Okons or Agbabiakas allowed! He could not be a sheller, lai lai! He had to speak Queen’s English and must be a power dresser.

By the time we started NYSC, the list had slimmed down considerably. The ‘no shelling’ was still there but the ‘rich’ was converted to ‘prospect holder/bright future’. The ‘tall’ was reduced to ‘at least taller than us’ and since the tallest of us was just 5 8′, we weren’t really asking for too much. Now, at 28, I frankly do not care. I’ve thrown the list into a bottomless pit.

It’s so hard to be happy for all those friends with whom I made this list. They seem to have gotten their wishes and are  so happy in their homes. I have invested so much money in aso ebi, been a Bridesmaid countless times and a Chief Bridesmaid at least four times. When will it be my turn?!

One more ‘Oh guess what, he proposed!’ and I’m going to have the mother of all fits. No, I’m not jealous. I’m just unhappy with my sigledom and God’s apparent reluctance to hear my cry and attend unto my request!

 

Just can't take it anymore!

Why me?!

***

The girl having a moan up there could easily be anyone. It could be that 30 year old married woman waiting on God for her own baby, the 32 year old man with a wife and a new baby who just got laid off at work, the 19 year old who graduated from Secondary School three years ago with fantastic WAEC and NECO results but cannot seem to pass JAMB or even the 21 year old girl whose friends all seem to have wealthy parents who drive the best cars whilst she has to take the bus about. It could be absolutely anyone. However, the message remains the same.

When problems arise, the devil has many gimmicks he throws our ways. He might try to take you back to your forsaken old ways asking you, ‘What’s the benefit you have derived so far from your faithfulness?’ Remember, these are just his wiles. Be like the elders who through faith and patience inherited the promise. Remain steadfast.

The LORD never promised us a rosy and problem-free life. Please DO NOT believe people who tell you to be born again in order to have a husband, pass an exam, get a visa etc. It is a lie. Though life in Christ comes with its many and varied perks but God promised us the life of an overcomer, a victor who is more than a conqueror which means there will be situations to face, red seas to cross and problems to surmount. As it is trite knowledge, no pain, no gain. At least, usually, not a lasting one. Don’t be tempted by the enemy’s quick fix, DIY methods he proposes when things go contrary to our wishes. They would only lead to greater problems.

Also remember, the fact some people are eating now does not mean that God has left the kitchen. Different meals, different lengths of cooking time, different people, different situations. Indomie noodles cooks quicker than beans which cooks quicker than pounded yam with egusi (you catch my drift). So, wait your turn, you certainly have not be forgotten.

In this season, I’d like to encourage us all to have a grateful mindset. 2010 may be gradually ending without you having accomplished all you set out to at the beginning of the year. So what? Remember the good things that have happened in your life (usually that takes more racking of the head than the ‘bad’ ones which the devil is so quick to bring to your remembrance). Count your blessings, name them one by one.

So many ills take place in the world. It is by His grace that we have not been consumed and we have in no way earned the right to be alive. We need to be grateful for ourselves and our loved ones. Seeing the end of 2010 is no small feat. If only our spiritual eyes could be opened to see the battles He fights on our behalf, day in day out, we would moan less and thank more.

God knows our individual needs and He will meet them all if we can learn to hold on to His promises and remain faithful. Hold on, help is on its way but as you do so, praise Him in advance for all His numerous blessings and remember ‘Why me?’ is just a #JAMBQUESTION…

Enjoy this song by Whitney Houston, Hold On Help is on the Way…

When you’re down and in despair
Don’t be uneasy because he’ll be there
Say don’t you worry, no don’t you fret
The Lord has never, never failed you yet

[Chorus:]
So hold on, help is on the way
Hold on, God is on his way
Hey hold on he’s on his way
He told me to hold on
He’s on his way
Hold on he’s coming soon
Pray, he’ll be there
Cmon now, yeah

Now when it seems that you can’t stand
Just hold on to God’s unchanging hand
Yeah, weeping may, yes, endure for just one night,
But joy will come in the morning light

[Chorus:]
Hold on he’s on his way
Come on hold on
See I’ve tried it and I know
Help is on the way
Hold on, hold on
I’m begging cause I know
He’s on his way

He may not come when you want him
But he’s right on time
But he’ll be right there (on time)

Help is on the way
Help is on the way
Help is on the way yeah
The word told me
If I ask he’s on his way
I’m thankful cause I know he is

Come on just say, help
Come on just try, help
Ask him for a little bit, help
He’ll give it to you right away, help
Help, Believe he’s on his way now, help
Help, Know the help I know, help
I’ve called him before, help
He said his help on his way, help
Help is on the way
So glad to know hey…
Woo

That’s all folks (for now)

 

Temiville.xoxo

It is Christmas after all…

It is Christmas once again! A very exciting time of the year. We get and give presents to loved ones. We feel justified for buying that lovely jacket from Zara, that cute pair of shoes from Russell & Bromley and those 5 for £100 shirts from TM which we really don’t need. We queue up at NEXT from 3 am in the morning and shop till we drop, literally. It’s Christmas after all. We also justify our over eating. Stuffing our faces with all that food that on a ‘normal’ day we wouldn’t eat. But it is Christmas after all.

Christmas Sale

Gluttony...

There is a general cheer in the air and there are loads of lovely decorations everywhere. It’s Christmas after all. Therefore it becomes okay to eat three times the quantity of food that we usually would. It becomes okay to spend the money we are barely making and it becomes okay to have people over at ours discussing everything BUT the reason for the season, the ‘Christ’ in the Christmas. Christmas Day is the day taken to celebrate the birth of Christ, Jesus Christ. Why was he born? Why was he sent? What is to celebrate? It to these we now turn.

God's amazing plan for our redemption

Sweet Baby Jesus

God had a fab plan for mankind. He made these special little creatures Adam and Eve with the aim that they would dominate the earth, replenish the earth, subdue it and most importantly, make His praise glorious. That is, to worship Him and give Him all the honour. We were created to  be gods (before you cry ‘Temi, what arrant blasphemy!’, chill and open to Psalm 82:6: Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

God had a perfect picture that when He looked down from Heaven upon the earth, the people He saw would reflect everything that He represents. So basically, God had big plans for man. But man had to bungle that up, thanks to Eve and Adam. Now, instead of boldly being able to approach God anytime, anyhow, dressed or undressed, clean or unclean, during your period or even on menopause (you catch my drift), man now had to settle for some serious Rules and Regulations, some strict protocols had to be observed now. A look at Leviticus 22 will make the picture clearer.

Read it and be amazed at the precision and the intricacies and the way God pays so much attention to the detail He really did not care for before:

you shall offer of your own free will a male without blemish from the cattle, from the sheep, or from the goats. ²⁰Whatever has a defect, you shall not offer, for it shall not be acceptable on your behalf. ²¹ And whoever offers a sacrifice of a peace offering to the LORD, to fulfill his vow, or a freewill offering from the cattle or the sheep,it must be perfect to be accepted; there shall be no defect in it. ²² Those that are blindor broken ormaimed, or have an ulcer or eczema or scabs, you shall not offer to the LORD, nor make an offering by fire of them on the altar to the LORD. ²³ Either a bull or a lamb that has any limb too long or too short you may offer as a freewill offering, but for a vow it shall not be accepted.
²⁴ ‘You shall not offer to the LORD what is bruised or crushed, or torn or cut; nor shall you makeany offering of them in your land. ²⁵ Nor from a foreigner’s hand shall you offer any of these as the bread of your God, because their corruption is in them, and defects are in them. They shall not be accepted on your behalf.’”

Ever faithful God, who will never up and leave or forsake His own decided to look for a way out to redeem the situation and save the day. He did it through His Son JESUS CHRIST. There was no way round it. Jesus had to pay. He had to die because without the shedding of blood, there can be no remission of sins (Hebrews 9:22). At a later date, we will discuss at great length how the covenant of Abraham was sealed and how the covenant of Jesus was sealed too…with blood. Yep, blood is the strongest type of covenant and it was that variety that God decided to go for in order to redeem man from the curse of the law. Since God had laid down some basic rules, He Himself could not break His words and instead, He had to look for a way round it, yet still fulfilling all righteousness. So Jesus was sent in order to be the way round our destruction and death. He was sent to set us free from bondage and to give us a new lease of life.

Christmas should be about remembering this Great Plan, this Divine Orchestration, this Amazing Device. So that, my friend, is why I find it so irksome when I go into a store to get Christmas cards for friends and not a single one in the entire store has a picture of Jesus with some nice ‘Unto us a Son is born’ type of words. All I see is ‘Santa Baby’, ‘Have a snowy Christmas’ and all I hear is ‘can you come have mulled wine and minced pies at our for Christmas?’ or ‘We are going to the movies to see the latest Christmas release’ or ‘we are having a Christmas party but not once do we plan on talking about Christ because this is a non-religious/multi-religious workplace’.

Unto us a Son is born

This is to remind us all (myself inclusive) of why that day is celebrated. By the way, nowhere in the Bible are we asked to celebrate Christ’s birth anyways. I’m sure our all knowing God had an inkling into how things would become so sensationalised that he decided, ‘do you know what, my good children, if you wanna remember me, really and truly truly, take the Holy Communion’ (Luke 22:19). Christmas is therefore an earthly celebration. It has its roots traceable to pagans. The Holy Communion, however, is the true remembrance of Christ (I thank my Pastor for this revelation).

He was born, He died, He was buried and He rose again!

I won’t go as far as telling people not to have a good time this Christmas (not that you or even I myself would listen to that admonition) but all I ask is that aside of the singing of ‘Away in a Manger’ and ‘Hark the herald angels sing’, take time to really think about Christ and what His coming/birth signifies to you personally and take time out to thank Him for it and most importantly, live a life that makes His coming of worth to you. That, my friend, is true Christmas!

Seasons Greetings!

Temiville.xoxo

Can they just stay together?

I was reading the news Daily Mail yesterday and was shocked to find out that Scarlett Johansson and her husband of two years, Ryan Reynolds were ending their marriage. It saddened me greatly. Not that Scarly is my big sister or I’m a die hard fan but I’m such a lover of marriage and happy couples so when I see an unhappy one or people throwing in the towel, I get sad. I even cried for some random people that broke up one time and I don’t even know them! Anyways, my over-emotional attitude is a topic for another day.

Recently, almost every week, one popular couple or the other has been announcing their parting. Kate Winslet & Sam Mendes have divorced. Sandra Bullock and Jesse James had finalized their divorce in June this year. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have gone their separate ways after 5 years together. Even old mama and papa too are not left out as Morgan Freeman and Myrna Colley-Lee officially ended their 26-year marriage on September 15, 2010. You would think that after 26 years together, they would have gotten the ‘hang of it’. Courteney Cox and her actor husband, David Arquette too have come up with their own modified divorce and have agreed to a ‘trial separation’. Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle, Eva Longoria filed for divorce on November 17, 2010  to end her three-year marriage to basketball player Tony Parker. She announced: “It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each other’s happiness.”

I know some of you might be yimu-ing thinking, ‘well the West is where all these happen’. Not so my friend! Even at home, people have been changing their ‘I do’ to ‘e don do’. Monalisa Chinda, a Nollywood actress divorced her husband, Victor Olusegun Dejo-Richards. Kenny St. Ogungbe and Eddy ‘Montana’ Brown broke up too. Eucharia Anunobi’s marriage crashed and so did that of Fathia & Saheed Balogun. Kefee of the ‘Branama’ fame broke it off with her husband. Stephanie Okereke too has gone that route. Taribo and Atinuke West said ‘we don’t anymore’ and so did Femi and Funke Kuti.

Yet again, I might have some sceptics who declare, ‘but Temi, those are not speereekokos-extremely spiritual’. Wrong again! We’ve seen people like Benny Hinn, Juanita Bynum and Paula White moving away from marriage.

All these have left me lost in thoughts…

Why, really, do people give up on their love? I’m aware of the fact that most of the people I mentioned don’t really believe in the sanctity and foreverness of marriage but a lot of people back who seem to are following this path too as shown. When a couple decides to split up, is it that they made the wrong choice of partner in the first place? That they had not taken enough time to know each other well? Or did they have dreams which with time, marriage revealed to them to be unrealistic? Or are they not resilient, running away at the slightest provocation?

Why can’t couples just stay together? Statistics has it that there are more divorces now than 30 years ago. Is this because generations past understood that once you say ‘I do’, that’s it? Is it because nowadays, we have so much talk of ‘woman emancipation’ and equality rights and we have abandoned the way things should be? Is it because the men are no more loving unconditionally and the women are no longer being submissive?

I personally believe in ‘no divorce’. I believe it because the Bible says so. I believe it because God said ‘I hate divorce’ (Malachi 2: 16) and He is a wise God. I believe it because I have seen couples weather the storm together, really bad storms but because they have purposed in their hearts that there is ‘no exit’, they fight for what they believe in. I believe it because strict adherence to God’s law yields fruit. No one can say marriage does not have its many and varied challenges. The secret, however, is the couple being of the same mindset…no divorce! This makes you work at it, pray and do whatever you can to save your home.

I’m not speaking from personal experience ’cause frankly, I have none (yet) but I am speaking from the Word of God and from the experiences of those who I have seen apply this Word of God successfully to their marriages. Of course, God is not a magician. It would have been great if you started seeking the face of God concerning your marriage before actually getting married and not asking Him to fix the mess you’ve gotten yourself into (although, God, in His infinite mercy can salvage all situations). However, it will be less stressful to have asked God to lead you in your decision making. So for those of us at this juncture, pray without ceasing, sow seeds of prayer into your marriage. No prayer is wasted. It will one day speak for you.

Some might be thinking it is easy for me to just sit there and spurt out theory so that’s why I want to throw this question at you guys: would you ever get a divorce or advice someone to? Is there any ‘good reason’ to divorce? If you come from a broken home, do you think your parents’ decision is right or do you think they could have tried harder to make it work? Was it because there was cheating/physical abuse going on and you feel for your mom’s safety, it was a wise decision or should they have merely separated and prayerfully sought help? Moving on from the past, how would you conduct your own marriage when the challenges come?

Muse with me…

PS: Happy Anniversary to my parents who today celebrate 33 years together, some hard, some blissful, all the same together. Thank You Lord for their lives.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Photo: Google Images

Nene…the Gele and Make up guru

There’s nothing as good as knowing how to use your hands to do amazing things. I’ve always admired those that are gifted with their hands, be it to draw, paint, sew, make hair or even do the sign language. Our featured entrepreneur today is one of such. She uses her hands to make others look beautiful. She is both a make up artist and a gele doer/tier/fixer (I’m lost) well, head gear tier.

She has used her talent to make so many brides look resplendent on their special and we got the chance to ask her a few questions about her art and her business. She is is Nene Achumba! Enjoy!

The gorgeous Nene

Tell us about yourself, Nene
I am a graduate of Philosophy from University of Lagos. I work with STB McCann which is an Advertising Company in Lagos and I am the last kid of 5.

Please tell us a bit about your gele/make up business

I started my makeover business from home at 16 just after high school. Then, I only knew how to shapen brows and do basic everyday makeup. I later diversified into bridal hair, lash fixing and gele tying when I started receiving requests for the whole package. It was a hobby that eventually turned into business. Most of my clients are prospective brides. I do this mostly on the weekends because of the nature of my job. Presently,  I have two people training with me and who want to work with me.

Wow, Nene that is amazing! But what inspired you to go into it?

My love for colours made me go into make up. I have had no formal training on it but it just comes naturally to me. If I must confess, the only training I received was through Fine Art classes in Secondary School. I could spend the whole day in the studio where I learnt to use my brushes and draw fine lines. Now, the same obtains with make up where I use the face as my canvas to express my love for art , the different hues and how they blend. It’s a beautiful feeling!

It was never about making money because I did it for free initially because I just enjoyed it. Back in school, while walking to or back from class, I would get loads of girls stopping me to ask where I got my eyebrows done. Whenever I told them I did it myself, they would have this shocked look then eventually collect my number and ask to get theirs done too. Sometimes, I just did it at no charge.

What were your parents’/family’s reactions?

My mum did not have a problem with it. She only did when I spent too long in front of the mirror. My dad used to be so furious seeing me with makeup he felt I was wasting my time and his money. (lol) At some point when he used to see loads of ladies trooping into the house just to get their brows done or for wedding consultations, he had a re-think about it. To the extent that whenever he went on trips, he would ask me for my list and the stores to go to so he could help me buy my make up supplies. He practically invested in it. My sister would call me “Picassa” making fun of me whenever I spent so long in front of the mirror.

Nene

How did you handle discouragement?

I only felt discouraged at a point when I got robbed and my kit was stolen from me twice. I felt it was a sign to forget about it because everything was gone.

Who inspires you?

I would rather be asked what inspires me. It would be the expressions on my clients’ faces that inspire me. It is that look of joy, appreciation and a warm hug that inspires me.

Have you any advice to budding entrepreneurs?

It’s never too late to start. When you eventually do, you have to put in your all because no one would help you succeed as much you would.

How do people contact you?

Majority of my clients are based on referrals. They get my contact from people I have worked for.

Thanks babe for this.

You’re welcome love.

Here are a few of the pictures of her work…

a-beautiful-bride-gele-and-make-up-by-nene

Nene at work

another lovely bride

Like the theme of this week has been, be encouraged to discover your passion, work on it and see how it will in turn work for you.

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Where do I turn?

These days, I’ve been faced with the pressure of making extremely important personal decisions. I have been at crossroads where I would debate within myself, Temi what do you do? I have been wondering: should I proceed or should I stay put? Should I surrender or should I keep fighting? Everyone faces these type of decision-making phase where you realise that you are no longer a child and it is now time to make potentially life-altering choices. It could be deciding whether to take that job or leave it and travel abroad for your MSc. It could be saying ‘yes’ to the available guy or chilling, hoping a better one would turn up. It could even be seemingly simple ones like ‘should I travel by road or by air?’, ‘should I drive or should I take the bus?’ Making a wrong turn could be very detrimental, hence, the importance of getting it right.

Knowing where you should be and what you should be doing helps avert delay and errors in life. Fine, after much arodan and wandering about in an Israelite journey, you might eventually reach your destination. But would it not have been better to have gotten it right the first time? There are some heart-aching experiences that can easily be averted because they are simply not worth going through. We cannot afford to gamble with our destinies. Hence, the importance of seeking God’s face concerning most every decision before us.

Life is way too complex to pass through without God’s guidance. Asking for divine guidance shortens our years of running around in circles. For instance, imagine Ladi, a 26 year old who has been looking for jobs to no avail. He has made 35 job applications and not one has been successful. They have been either out right rejections at the application stage or he had been knocked off at the interview stage. He is frustrated, understandably and has decided to travel abroad (South Africa) in search of greener pastures.

But because Ladi never ascertained the wisdom in this from God, he will always live an ‘unsure’ life, doubting his every move. If on getting to South Africa, no jobs are available, he might wonder,’maybe God never approved of my coming here and this is a sign from Him’. Also, if he had persevered in Nigeria without praying, he would forever wonder, ‘maybe I should have grabbed the opportunity to travel when it arose’. This is not an enviable position to be in.

Being certain of God’s will means you know to trust and obey where He has placed you. You stay or go where He has asked you to and even if things are not going rosy, you never second-guess your decision. You weather the storm knowing full well that you are where you should be and that ‘this too shall pass’.

Likewise, if you entered into a relationship with that girl or guy with the full assurance of God’s backing, even if things are going rough, you can be sure that there is no need to break up. But when you never got a ‘go ahead’, you begin to contemplate all sorts whenever anything goes wrong. Everything becomes a potential ‘sign from God’. Even when you are bold enough to get married to that person, you never stop questioning yourself if something is not quite right. You think, ‘abi I was never supposed to marry this guy, Is this proof that I made the wrong choice?’

However, when you are sure of whose instruction you are following, you can forge ahead boldly knowing that ‘faithful is He who has promised (Hebrews 10: 23). If He sent you there, His grace will cover you, no matter what. It is not about living a problem-free life, it is about leading a purpose-driven life such that every step you take is sure. You are not easily swayed by ‘what is in vogue’. You won’t go applying to study Petroleum Management because ‘that is what people say employers now want’ neither would you be in a hurry to do something because ‘all my friends are doing it’. You would be secure. You would be confident knowing everything is working together for your good.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 

 

Order my steps in Your Word

I need to read this post again as I contemplate the choices before me…

 

 

***

My friend shared something with me today and I thought to share it with you guys too. This beautiful young woman, Camille Allen, 30, resides in Powell River, in British Columbia, Canada.

She is married with no children yet but she makes babies. No, she’s isn’t a surrogate mum. She is a skilful artist who sculpts babies!!!

Are they not breath-takingly beautiful?

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo

Photo: Social Media Sisters, Family Webshots, CamilleAllen.com

Video: MelloperoudChannel on YouTube

We celebrate talent in ‘The Black Rembrandt’

Like I promised you guys, MCLA will be celebrating our young talents this week. These are those who have carved a niche for themselves with their art and are excelling at it greatly.

Today, it is all about Mohammed Abbagana known to most people as MJA, The Black Rembrandt. This young man has blown many away with his drawings. They are absolutely breathtaking. MCLA had the opportunity to grab him for a chat and this is what he had to say. Enjoy!

A young Mohammed

Hi Mohammed, tell us a bit about yourself

My name is Mohammed Abbagana, a 25 years old Nigerian. I am a Sagittarius. I am Muslim and I have been living in England for 14 years. I attended different schools in different parts of England. I have a degree in Visual Communication from the American Intercontinental University, London. I like music especially hip hop and R ‘n’ B.

I like UFC and absolutely love watching movies. I like to laugh, hang with friends though I do not have much time on my hands these days because of my art. I’m particular about detail. The only art I am into is Realism. I want to do what I think people would like to look at but also what I love. My favourite artist is Rembrandt.

When did you realise you had this talent and how did you hone it?

I started drawing at the age of 7 because of a manga called Dragon Ball z, lol. I have been drawing ever since. However, I started taking my art seriously just last year. I am not as good as I would like to be. To hone my skills, I just keep drawing and naturally, I improve with practice.

I want to reach a level of understanding that you get with every piece you do, so you draw a certain way, to the image you see, because you understand it more, like a language. I have realised that the more you try to understand your work, the more you see life differently and  from a different angles too.

What/where did you study and did your parents fear for you when you decided that you wanted to do your own thing?
I went to Central Saint Martins and I did not like it so I went to the London College of Communication for my foundation. My dad did not feel it was a career to pursue but my mum supported me. I was initially going to study Architecture but because I hate Math, I didn’t.

When/how did you decide that you were going into it seriously?

Last year. I want to see how far I could take it. It can be so difficult to discover what you want to do in life and that thing being something  that you actually like and enjoy doing. I consider myself very blessed to have found my passion and calling.

How did you handle the discouragements?

I didn’t have to. I had my mother’s full support as well as those of my brother and 2 sisters. I kept seeking for improvement in my work and that kept me going.

How challenging has it been compared to the idea of being employed by a top company in Nigeria/UK which you could easily get?

Well, I am not a 9 to 5 kind of person and I don’t have to pay tax when I sell my art so it sounded good. The thought that I didn’t have to give my ideas or put all my effort into someone else’s income was also very appealing. The only thing I was worried about was if people back home (Nigeria) would accept my style but we will see how that goes.

Of all your projects, which have you absolutely loved the most and why?

It is the one I am doing for my exhibition in London called Claustaphobia because it’s fun, I like the idea behind it and it brings out strong images which a lot of people can relate to.

What are your present projects?

Claustaphobia and one I am working on for Nigeria. It does not have a name yet but it is 10 pieces on canvas.

Any regrets?

Well, I’m not happy that I did not enter into competitions earlier and that I’m only just taking my art seriously. But it is never too late to start so that thought encourages me.

Any advice to budding entrepreneurs?
Follow your dreams no matter how difficult it maybe and no matter the obstacles you may encounter in life. You have to work 4 times as hard because you’re mostly on your own. Prove people wrong. In this world, there too many copy cats. We live in a huge world so stand out, be remembered through time after your time has ended.

Here are some of his drawings…

A beautiful woman, pencil drawing

Michael and Bob Marley

pencil and charcoal

For more of his amazing work and details on how to own one of his pieces,contact him through:

His official Facebook page

Twitter: Follow him on @/mo_j_a

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo