I have this friend who had this friend who had this boyfriend who would offend her on a regular basis. She was regularly complaining about him. She was advised to end it with him, think things through and then decide if she really wanted to live her life like this. But each time she tried to declare their relationship over, he would chastise her for being so off handed and quick to give up. In his words, if they were married and he did something wrong, was that the same manner she was going to throw in the towel and ask for a divorce? He would also tell her that the devil (him) she knew was better than the amazing boyfriend she was hoping to meet after him after all, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush ahead…

These words, however lame you and I know they are, always struck a nerve and so my friend’s friend decided to prove that she was a strong woman. A woman, who like our mothers, has the capacity to handle a lot. So she stayed on in her relationship, kept on complaining to my friend, kept on accepting what she knew to really be unacceptable, kept on being a Proverbs 31 wife-in training. In her mind, she was preparing herself for marriage which at the end of the day, is not exactly a walk in the garden.

A while after, her boyfriend did the breaking up himself. This was not to date someone else, he claimed, but to ‘discover himself’. Plus, according to him, at 27, he was too young to marry and he was feeling pressured by her (they are age mates). This is exactly how a 3 year long relationship came to a painful end (painful for the girl, at least). Now, it’s all over.


I believe it is good to be strong. I believe you should be resilient. I believe you should be a fighter. But more importantly, I believe you should wisely and prayerfully pick those battles you engage in. Why waste energy and time on a battle that is not yours? It is good to hold on but please only hold on to what is yours?

Don’t waste your energy over what does not belong to you. The poor girl held on to who she thought was the one for her and started practising patience, long suffering and perseverance. These qualities are good. Every woman who wants to keep her home needs them (I am told). However, they should only be played out in the right way and on the right recipient. Don’t spend days fasting and praying for changes to take place concerning a situation you really have no business being in in the first place.

The Bible teaches us something I find so deep and so applicable today. Matthew 7:6 says, ‘Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.’

Do not cast your pearls before swine. What exactly was Jesus on about here? What are pearls? Your pearls are those things of value to you and eventually, to your destiny. What of swine? What/who are these? Swine are the unappreciative and undeserving people or situations of life. The people and situations God has not planned for you to be a part of. In other words, worthless/fruitless pursuits.

Your time is your pearl, don’t waste it on fruitless ventures. Your domesticated nature is your pearl, don’t go cooking for any man (or woman, as the comments on a recent post reveal that men cook greatly too) who is using you. Don’t be cleaning, washing and playing ‘wifey’ to someone that is not yours. Your body is your pearl, value it and don’t dishonour it. Don’t engage in pre-marital sex!!! As a matter of fact, your body is God’s pearl too so you need to be extra careful here. Your money is your pearl, don’t spend it on greedy girls who have no genuine interest in you all in a bid to impress. Your energy is your pearl, save your stress for more worthy ventures. Your words are pearls, be a person of few but wise words and speak them only to people who are not going to act as swine, turning every phrase against you.

All these being said, how then can we identify pearls and swine? How do you know if a particular venture is going to end up being a swine? How do you know if that plan is really worth it and you should keep at it or whether you should, like the girl earlier spoken of, up and leave? How?

Only God can give us this information. This 411 belongs to Him. He alone can reveal the deep and secret things to us. Imagine your phone when you buy it or sign up to a contract. If you have any problems with the contract, do you not immediately call the customer service department? If the phone is beginning to act weird, do you not refer to the manual to find out how exactly its manufacturers expect that situation to be dealt with?

God is our maker. He has the blueprint of our lives before Him. He knows what exactly we should be doing everyday. He knows who we should be with, the applications we should make and the jobs we should take. He knows ALL. Who better to turn to for leading and direction than God?


5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

He alone can tell you whether to keep holding on or to jejely give up and move on swiftly. He alone can tell you whether that investment is going to yield returns or turn out to be the worst thing you’ve ever done. Why take chances? Let us learn to turn to God for wisdom. He is our General in this war of life. He will tell us which battles to fight so that we may eventually go on to win the war.

…Pick your challenges wisely. Don’t expend energy on what will not profit much…

That’s all beautiful people (for now). Have a lovely Wednesday. Wow, it’s been a week already since grad day! Time dey fly oh! Make we use am well…

Enjoy this song…

God bless y’all!