I once had a dog, Murphy. I got him as a little puppy. He was barely a few days old. He was the absolute cutest animal in the world to me. I was so smitten and the love was not unrequited. I spoiled him silly. He refused anything but bread soaked in Cowbell Milk as a puppy. When he grew, I was regularly patronising Tantalisers and Mr Biggs for their left overs (do people still do that?). He was so faithful to me. He loved all the members of my household but everyone knew exactly where Murphy’s allegiance lay. It was to me…alone. I loved him dearly.

One day, Murphy started acting strange. Instead of jumping on me in glee each time I returned from school, he would be in his little house, refusing to move. I thought he was just fronting at first but then, after two days of his strangely lazy behaviour, I knew something was wrong and so I took him to the Vet near ours. That was my first visit there so we had to register him and all. After checking up on Murphy, the Doctor delivered the news of Murphy’s illness. He had worms and we were prescribed some drugs which I administered to Murphy religiously.

Two days after the visit to the Vet, I woke up to see how Murphy was getting on. I could not find him in his little house. I called out, ‘Murphy’, ‘oh Muuuuurrrpppphy’, he did not respond with his usual bark. I searched everywhere. Under the cars, every room, every nook and cranny. There was no Murphy. I even asked the Aboki if Murphy had strolled out. No one had seen him.

That was how the search party began. All my brothers, my mom and even my dad who is not a fan of dogs started searching. We looked everywhere. We could not find him. Suddenly my brother screamed, ‘Ah!’ from the Boys’ Quarters. I knew it had something to do with Murphy. I ran into the back of the house to see what the matter was. The sight my eyes beheld made my knees go weak. There laid Murphy before me. He had gone into one of the abandoned rooms, to the back of a chair, had curled up in a ball and died.

I cried. I refused to be comforted. I even saw a little tear drop down from my eldest brother’s eyes. I could not eat. I mourned my best friend, Murphy for days. It was really bad.

The best way, however, that I could devise for handling the pain of the loss was to find a replacement, fast. So I was given a little Alsatian puppy which I promptly named Murphy. I had finally found Murphy’s replacement. Things were once again going to be as they before were.

However, things were never the same. Murphy the Second (Murphy II) was very faithful and loving to me but each time I called out to him, ‘Murphy’, it felt wrong. Eventually, he too passed away. But this time, I did not grieve.

***

The truth is that so many times we lose something either through our mistake or maybe God wants us to learn something and so, He withholds it from us. Immediately this loss occurs, we are quick to do something about it. It might not be death like Murphy’s case. It might be a relationship gone wrong (platonic or otherwise), a business proposal declined, an application rejected…Because we are so much in a hurry, we lose the moral of the experience. We don’t learn the lesson. We fail the test and we will eventually have to retake it. But unfortunately, we don’t know what it takes to do better next time, how to rewrite a good proposal, how to construct a winning cover letter, how to be better to our partner. We want to quickly find a QuickFix solution: we get someone to take their place, send out many more proposals and applications, keep moving on without taking a moment to reflect.

In my case, if I taken time to learn from Murphy the First’s death, I would have known that I should have taken my dog to the Vet regularly. I would have known how to protect my dog. When I found a replacement, I still lost it. Why? Because I repeated the first mistake. I did not learn.

How I got over Murphy was foolish. I ended up losing him again due to not learning from the first experience. Learn from yours. If there’s anything you are going through now, don’t be in a hurry to quickly find your solution. Instead, analyse the situation. Ask yourself, ‘where did I go wrong? How did I err? How can I avoid this in the future?’ Experience is only the best teacher when you take the class and pass the test. Otherwise, you will keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high. No need to pay it twice.


Just thought to share this today.

Love lots,

Temiville.xoxo


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