Frustrated!

I am 28 and yet, unmarried. I can’t even boast of being the proud possessor of a boyfriend! All around me, I get invites to weddings and bridal showers. That tiny Bola who is just 22 years old got engaged two months ago. Even Chinedu, is married too and he is a guy! Temi, my best friend, got married 3 years ago and now all she does is go on and on about how her kids are growing so fast, how great her husband is and the third honeymoon they will be going on to Mauritius. I know it is the right thing to do but it’s soooo hard to be happy for her and the rest of them too without thinking about my own situation.

Each time I log on to Facebook and see a new ‘married’ status update or people congratulating another newly engaged or newly wedded friend, I get mad at God. God, why?! Why me? I’ve been nothing but faithful to You, doing all You ask, yet nothing. As I add the obligatory, ‘aww so cute’ and ‘I’m so happy for you’, I get even more bitter within me.

At the age of 18, me and my friends had a huge list of what our future husbands must possess. He had to be tall, handsome, rich (not our-level-kind-of-rich that is grateful to travel to Jand once a year on Economy oh, we wanted stinkingly rich, the-type -our-parents-will-call-rich kind of rich). He could only have one sister, max and preferably, a mom who was long gone or nice to a fault! He had to have his own house in a good area. Orile or Okokomaiko wouldn’t cut it. Also, he had to have a posh last name like Olu, Ade, Obi, Taylor, Jacobs. No Okons or Agbabiakas allowed! He could not be a sheller, lai lai! He had to speak Queen’s English and must be a power dresser.

By the time we started NYSC, the list had slimmed down considerably. The ‘no shelling’ was still there but the ‘rich’ was converted to ‘prospect holder/bright future’. The ‘tall’ was reduced to ‘at least taller than us’ and since the tallest of us was just 5 8′, we weren’t really asking for too much. Now, at 28, I frankly do not care. I’ve thrown the list into a bottomless pit.

It’s so hard to be happy for all those friends with whom I made this list. They seem to have gotten their wishes and are  so happy in their homes. I have invested so much money in aso ebi, been a Bridesmaid countless times and a Chief Bridesmaid at least four times. When will it be my turn?!

One more ‘Oh guess what, he proposed!’ and I’m going to have the mother of all fits. No, I’m not jealous. I’m just unhappy with my sigledom and God’s apparent reluctance to hear my cry and attend unto my request!

 

Just can't take it anymore!

Why me?!

***

The girl having a moan up there could easily be anyone. It could be that 30 year old married woman waiting on God for her own baby, the 32 year old man with a wife and a new baby who just got laid off at work, the 19 year old who graduated from Secondary School three years ago with fantastic WAEC and NECO results but cannot seem to pass JAMB or even the 21 year old girl whose friends all seem to have wealthy parents who drive the best cars whilst she has to take the bus about. It could be absolutely anyone. However, the message remains the same.

When problems arise, the devil has many gimmicks he throws our ways. He might try to take you back to your forsaken old ways asking you, ‘What’s the benefit you have derived so far from your faithfulness?’ Remember, these are just his wiles. Be like the elders who through faith and patience inherited the promise. Remain steadfast.

The LORD never promised us a rosy and problem-free life. Please DO NOT believe people who tell you to be born again in order to have a husband, pass an exam, get a visa etc. It is a lie. Though life in Christ comes with its many and varied perks but God promised us the life of an overcomer, a victor who is more than a conqueror which means there will be situations to face, red seas to cross and problems to surmount. As it is trite knowledge, no pain, no gain. At least, usually, not a lasting one. Don’t be tempted by the enemy’s quick fix, DIY methods he proposes when things go contrary to our wishes. They would only lead to greater problems.

Also remember, the fact some people are eating now does not mean that God has left the kitchen. Different meals, different lengths of cooking time, different people, different situations. Indomie noodles cooks quicker than beans which cooks quicker than pounded yam with egusi (you catch my drift). So, wait your turn, you certainly have not be forgotten.

In this season, I’d like to encourage us all to have a grateful mindset. 2010 may be gradually ending without you having accomplished all you set out to at the beginning of the year. So what? Remember the good things that have happened in your life (usually that takes more racking of the head than the ‘bad’ ones which the devil is so quick to bring to your remembrance). Count your blessings, name them one by one.

So many ills take place in the world. It is by His grace that we have not been consumed and we have in no way earned the right to be alive. We need to be grateful for ourselves and our loved ones. Seeing the end of 2010 is no small feat. If only our spiritual eyes could be opened to see the battles He fights on our behalf, day in day out, we would moan less and thank more.

God knows our individual needs and He will meet them all if we can learn to hold on to His promises and remain faithful. Hold on, help is on its way but as you do so, praise Him in advance for all His numerous blessings and remember ‘Why me?’ is just a #JAMBQUESTION…

Enjoy this song by Whitney Houston, Hold On Help is on the Way…

When you’re down and in despair
Don’t be uneasy because he’ll be there
Say don’t you worry, no don’t you fret
The Lord has never, never failed you yet

[Chorus:]
So hold on, help is on the way
Hold on, God is on his way
Hey hold on he’s on his way
He told me to hold on
He’s on his way
Hold on he’s coming soon
Pray, he’ll be there
Cmon now, yeah

Now when it seems that you can’t stand
Just hold on to God’s unchanging hand
Yeah, weeping may, yes, endure for just one night,
But joy will come in the morning light

[Chorus:]
Hold on he’s on his way
Come on hold on
See I’ve tried it and I know
Help is on the way
Hold on, hold on
I’m begging cause I know
He’s on his way

He may not come when you want him
But he’s right on time
But he’ll be right there (on time)

Help is on the way
Help is on the way
Help is on the way yeah
The word told me
If I ask he’s on his way
I’m thankful cause I know he is

Come on just say, help
Come on just try, help
Ask him for a little bit, help
He’ll give it to you right away, help
Help, Believe he’s on his way now, help
Help, Know the help I know, help
I’ve called him before, help
He said his help on his way, help
Help is on the way
So glad to know hey…
Woo

That’s all folks (for now)

 

Temiville.xoxo

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