Ever since dad remarried, things have gone from bad to worse and now, I can confidently say that they have plummeted to the worst. Ify, his new bride, has been an absolute nightmare to deal with. I know it is not right to hate people but I absolutely deeply dislike her with every fibre of my being. She is everything I’ve always loathed in a woman. She acts like a goody two shoes and most annoying of all, she is trying to fill our mom’s shoes. That that is an absolute impossibility! I didn’t attend their wedding despite the fact that she asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. For what? I’m sure that was just one of her strategies to get me to be on her side. One of her fellow scheming friends must have offered her that piece of advice. Well, she might as well tell them it’s not working on me!
***
Why dad had to remarry is still a mystery to me. He has us his kids. Myself, Lamide and Junior have been all he needs since mom passed on two years ago. The abruptness of his remarriage was mind-numbing not to mention the fact that he married mom’s friend’s younger sister, Ify. Who does that?
The way she schemed and wormed her way into our house and daddy’s life is quite legendary. The woman deserves a prize for her acting because I know she is fake. What happened on the 14th of September proves without reasonable doubt that she is the pretender I have always suspected her to be. I saw through all her holy holy act which dad fell for hook, line and sinker. She would pretend to be born again, screaming about the house in the mornings and robbing us of sleep yet all manners of deception lie in her.
My trusting dad
She plotted her way into being dad’s wife by making food and bringing it to the house in her big warmer. The first time she tried it, I emptied the contents of the container into the nearest bin. Dad was upset but quickly calmed down after a few minutes. I generally had my way with daddy. We were very alike. Both stubborn, yet loving at heart. However, my shrewdness and intuition, I got from mom. Dad fell easily for all the gimmicks that would never have swayed mom. The difference was that once my old man had his mind set on something, that was it.
I explained to dad that Saturday afternoon Ify brought food over that it was not necessary to eat the food because I had cooked all morning for the week and it would go to waste. My reasoning didn’t make much sense in my ears as I voiced them but they worked on dad. I was doubtful of her motives from Day 1. Who goes cooking for a man who has a 21 year old daughter? I could cook like crazy and Ify knew it so what was her point? Mom had instilled the importance of knowing how to cook in us to the extent that even Junior who is just 14 makes amazing beans.
Ify, like the sharp and crafty woman that she is would come to the house when I wasn’t in. She knew my routine and was aware that I would be on campus from Monday till Friday every week and that Lamide, my sister, was too nice to protest like I would. She was a softy like our mom. I was no softy. I took after my dad and that is why it hurt so much to watch him crumble before this woman.
***
All manners of ills have taken place since they got married and she moved into the house. Dad has stopped eating on the dining table with us all as was our tradition. He now questions us when we ask him for money. Even Junior gets questioned too. He no longer cares about the curfew he and mom set up for Lamide and I. He doesn’t care even if we come home or not. He barely notices our presence…or absence. He’s too wrapped up in his new bride.
He reduced our allowance without notice. He gave Ify the keys to mom’s car. The very same car he bought for her 45th birthday and had made mom cry in glee. He allowed all mom’s pictures in the living room to be put away despite my protests. Even Lamide, who is usually quiet, spoke out that day. We all wept bitterly. It was as though he wanted no more reminders of mom, forgetting that she and she alone can ever be our mother. He told me to keep he pictures in my room as it was ‘unfair for Ify to be seeing them day in day out’. Who gives a hoot what she feels?! In addition, he goes on impromptu extended holidays with this woman and asks his sister, Aunty Clara, to come and stay with us. Ify also had the nerve to redocarate the house from the biege, brown and cream theme mom, myself and Lamide had chosen and painstakingly sorted out to her totally off colours.
These and a lot more are the miseries I have had to endure in my own home. So I made up my mind two months ago to move out with my siblings and go to stay with Aunty Clara and Uncle Akin in Okota. It was far from where we lived but that was my intention exactly, to be as far away from them as possible. Lamide had been debating it and did not want to offend dad. Junior was ready to go but recently, seemed to have started warming up to Ify. I drove home from school one Frday evening to find Ify and Junior playing ludo on the balcony!
I badly wanted Ify to be treated like the plague that she is and the message needed to be drummed into dad’s ears. I had spoken to him severally, first clamly, then shouting, then sobbing. Nothing worked. Dad kept on asking me, ‘Tolu, what exactly has she done wrong?’. I gave him a look that read, ‘what has she NOT done? She is an impostor and she needs to leave!’
Why oh why did mom have to go? Why was her cancer not healed? Why did she even have to get it in the first place and leave us at the mercy of this merciless world? I had been strong for all of us in the months after her funeral. We were all hurting but we were gradually healing. We were doing just fine…until she came.
***
One Monday morning, as I was getting ready to go back to school, I heard a noise down the hall so I left my room to find out what was going on. I discovered the noise was coming from mom and dad’s room. It was then I heard her throwing up violently and dad soothing her and they both laughing at a joke he told. I swallowed a big lump of something in fear and trepidation. Could she be pregnant? My worst fear has just been realised, I thought as I hurriedly rushed to my room, packed my things, rushed out of the house, got into my car and drove off.
Pregnant!
Ify was so happy
***
I avoided the house after that incident. I got away with it easily because dad was now preoccupied with Ify and everything pertaining to her. A month after, I finally came home as it was going to be dad’s 53rd birthday and my younger ones and I had planned a small get-together for him and had invited his friends, mom’s friends and our relatives. I loved my dad with my whole being and no matter how much I believed he had made the wrong choice, he was still my father. Also, I didn’t want to give Ify the pleasure of playing hostess in my own home so I took charge of the arrangements, calling a caterer and sorting out the cake and drinks. His birthday fell on a Sunday but I decided to go home on Thursday afternoon because I pretty much had a free Friday and had lots of last minute loose ends to tie.
I met Ify decorating the living room. I greeted her in my usual cool manner and walked off not waiting or caring for a response. As I walked up the staircase, I immediately noticed something wrong. Our family portrait was missing! It usually hung on the wall so you could view it as you walked up the stairs. It was so huge and beautiful. It was an oil painting on canvas and we had it done in Italy five years ago. We all looked so happy and it was the most recent picture we had of mom before she was diagnosed with the disease that eventually took her life. I was furious. I was livid. I was mad! I could feel the hairs standing at the back of my neck and my blood began to rise in a boil as I dropped my bag on the staircase and stormed into the living room.
‘Where the hell is the portrait Ify?!’
She looked at me for about four seconds before calmly responding, ‘It’s in the storeroom Tolulope. Your dad and I decided that it would be nice to have it replaced with the more recent one…’
I don’t know which had annoyed me the most, her calm response in the face of my anger, her calling me ‘Tolulope’ or the actual response she gave me.
‘Which is?!’, I screamed.
Unperturbed by my loudness, she answered,
‘Well, your dad, myself, Lammie and Junior went to the studio last week Saturday when you refused to come home’.
‘First, she is Lamide to you’, I interjected sharply, ‘only our mother ever calls her Lammie. Secondly, how dare you take that picture down? How dare you?! I’m putting right back and if you dare lay your fingers on it again!’ I said wagging my index finger at her.
To my utmost surprise, she did what she had never done before. She retorted.
‘That’s it. I’ve had enough of your disobedience and rudeness. I have tried my best to be a wonderful mom to you all but you especially have always thwarted my efforts. You have tried my patience long enough and today, I will put an end to this’, she declared.
‘Ehn ehn, I knew it! I knew you are nothing but a bloody pretender! You try and stop me and I will show you madness!’.
The Fight
‘Rasaki, Rasaki!’ I yelled calling the gateman who promptly responded. I asked him to assist me in carrying the portrait from the storeroom. As we lifted it together, Ify kept shouting behind us, ‘Rasaki, if you don’t drop that painting, I would have you sacked today!’ Rasaki ignored her like I told him to. He had been with us for almost 11 years so there was no way he was gettnig fired and he knew it.
As Ify followed us up the stairs, she must have lost her footing and tripped over her flowing boubou. My first instinct was to rush over to help her to her feet but I thought she was just pretending since she only tripped and nothing more. So I ensured that the portrait was back in its rightful spot before attending to her. Unfortunately, I was wrong and she was not pretending. She was writhing in pain and to my alarm, I saw three spots of bright red on her pink boubou. We rushed her to the hospital where dad joined us in no time.
***
It has been two weeks and four days since the incident. She had a miscarriage. But most shocking of all is her claim that I pushed her in my anger at her putting down the portrait. God knows I never did any such thing. Rasaki, my only witness has now been sacked. Dad has banished me out of his house and insists that he does not want to speak to or see me. I now stay with Aunty Clara. Everyone has pleaded with dad: Aunty Clara, Uncle Akin, all mom’s relatives and even dad’s relatives too. Even Ify and her sister (mom’s friend) have ‘begged’ too all to no avail.
I feel bad for Ify’s loss but why she had to lie against me is still a mystery to me. What joy could she possibly derive from a father and his daughter in enmity? Why did dad have to react so harshly. He has known me for 21 years. He should know my capabilities. As much as his remarriage brought no thrills to me, I would never hurt Ify, at least not physically. I am his daughter. His first child. To think that he would pick Ify over me is painful. It makes me miss my mom all over again as I question the reason why she had to die. Life is sure harsh but this was a bit extreme. I never imagined things would take this turn. Tears mean nothing to me now, I’ve shed so much of them, they don’t move the people around me anymore. Oh mother, where art thou?!
Musings of a Caramel Latte Addict 
Dec 29, 2010 @ 07:42:02
I feel sorry for Tolu and unfortunately I cannot say I understand how it feels because I haven’t been there. This story is one amongst many we hear everyday, all sad and sounding like the father (or mother) was never in love with the now deceased parent in the first place.
I think Tolu should pray, and very hard too, God is the only place any help can come from now because come to think of it, it’s the person who’s hurt that gets listened to.
You’re in our thoughts (and prayers) Tolu…..
http://www.fairygodsister.wordpress.com
Dec 29, 2010 @ 08:41:46
Wow. I agree with Fairygodsister’s comment. I haven’t been in a situation like this before but it is one that does exist and you have captured the emotions involved very well.
Though this story is friction, it would be nice to gain insight into Ify’s mind. Never say never, but I personally would hate to be in Ify’s position , marrying a man who had lost his wife forever questioning at the back of my mind if he still thinks about her, does he ever secretly compare me to her, am I second best? And then being step-mother to children who no matter how pure my intentions are, will never like me nor accept me simply because I am not their mother.
I’m not suggesting that Ify was the victim in this story, afterall its a mystery to me why she would cause enemity between father and daughter by telling such a lie, however the reality is there are women who are such victims of this circumstance.
Anyhoo, good story Temi.
Dec 29, 2010 @ 09:39:08
Whatever might or might not have been going on in Ify’s mind, from the side of things we can see – Tolu’s – it’s clear that she (Tolu) took things too far. It’s painful to have another woman come and replace your mother, but a man needs more than his children, and she simply refused to see that. If the way she talked to Ify over that portrait is any indication, then she (Ify) must have been going through hell in that house. She didn’t have to lie, but she had probably had enough of being treated the way Tolu treated her. Also, even though Tolu didn’t push her, she was indirectly the cause of her miscarriage, and that must have been very painful for Ify. Did Tolu apologise to her? No. Stepmothers are always portrayed as evil, but stepdaughters can also be a trial when they want.
Dec 29, 2010 @ 10:05:04
As someone who just lost my mum and with the same shrewdness as Tolu, all this women that cook and even old female colleagues/classmates that in my 21yrs I have never seen or heard of that have now come out of the woodwork, I watch like a hawk. If any stepmother should try do the things that Ify did, like take down the portrait or change things in the house, she will go thru hell on earth, thats all I’m saying. At least wait for a few yrs aftr moving in or till the children have moved out, they wont be in the house forever. Stepmothers should know their roles and boundaries.
nevertheless, emotions well described Temi.
Dec 29, 2010 @ 12:35:49
Wow Tolu dear i fil a lot of ur pain as i av bin in a similar situation while not directly related. U might rilly wonder y ify would go 2 dt extreme but d truth of d matter is dat d heart of man is desperately wicked. Am sorri 2 say but her n her sista apologizin on ur behalf is a load of crap cos left 2 me dey both schemed thru it 2 worm their way 2 ur dad’s heart. U were some sort of hindarance dat dey nided out of d way. In it all u are in my prayers cos God has a way of turning things around 4 those who put their trust in him. Just kip prayin dat d Lord would open ur dad’s eyes 2 see things as it were n like d yoruba’s do say d dead don’t sleep still while their kids suffer. Be strong sis.
Dec 30, 2010 @ 03:04:46
hmmmmmmmmm! guess not all stories have happy endings.
some kids do find it difficult to move on or accept the unfortunate events.
sad Ify lost her baby and tied it to the girl pushing her. i hope her dad will later forgive and have her back… and sure he will, he just needs time to heal.
we dont pray for these kinda things to happen to us but we need to learn to handle difficult situations that come our way.
It is well.
Dec 30, 2010 @ 09:07:06
sensible talk @ elzcie and nike. The story must be looked at from both sides. In my honest opinion i think it is foolishness on both sides. Why should Ify consent to taking a picture down when she clearly hasn’t even been accepted? What is her hurry for? She should have known better. As a woman who was ready to be a mother to already grown children she should have thought it out more….
I saw a woman suffer in the hands of her step kids till they pushed her out of their fathers house. If she bought Bournvita instead of Milo there would be war. Because of cases like this, So some women already come prepared for war! Believing that the step children are out to frustrate them.
As for Tolu, The truth about life is when people die, people move on, If Tolu dies today people will move on! (which is why i have refused to die now!…lol) no woman can take the place of a mother so thats not the point. Tolu’s father has a right to move on, the man will be all alone when Tolu and her siblings are out of the house. The only reason why her father believed the step mom and not her is because she had been showing some nasty traits before.
Ify is a bad woman but there are better ways to handle such women, alot of times in trying to ensure that ”justice ” prevails we end up looking like the devil. Tolu’s Focus should be on her self, her education and her siblings. God does not sleep he will definately fight for his own.
Dec 30, 2010 @ 09:08:21
btw Temi, this sounds like the story of a popular RCCG Pastor???
Dec 31, 2010 @ 17:19:32
tolu, i don’t feel what you are going through , i can only imagine, but you know that God knows everything and He understands your pains because He Himself had once been rejected in His own house. i advise you should try to follow peace with your step mum ,no matter what and pray for her , i know it’s hard and unrealistic but you can
God is with you.
Jan 03, 2011 @ 19:13:42
To be honest, it is easy for us onlookers to judge and offer receipe for solution. The fact whatever anyone says will not be of value because emotions when bruised or hurt takes time to see things differently. But what I know if I put myself in her shoes and try to imagine a fraction of what it feels like, it reallly hurts. Infact the last thing you want when you have lost someone is to have another in the picture. Most especially, if you had a great family before the death.
Alot can be said given this scenario but I stand on the principles that no matter what happens, family should stick together. And even if tolu pushes ify(which I am not condoning) I think dad should sit and think things through. But his emotions are involved too, all these things boils down to emtions being tangled with all that we do. Thus, tolu go away mourn for mum, but always think what would mum do in this situation, if dad died? Also imagine if you were your dad? Or imagine if dad was ur son? Basically, remember mom is watching you and she taught you well with expectations. Try to fulfil her expectations by searching deep for clues? Lastly, dont hate dad, give him time and if you can pray for him and just take each day as it comes.
But one day, things will be clear and better than yesterday, but believe mum lives in your heart and even if pictures are taken down, her memories in your mind will not be taken away. So be gentle and spend time with your siblings still upholding the family value and unity.Everyone needs each other to be strong no matter how much they get close ify. Finally, please try and encourage yourself to pray to God and ask him for healing and wisdom. You will be better with time.
Jan 05, 2011 @ 21:56:47
deep…. i would be mad as well if i were her… mehn thats a bit too much o.. its like the father is smitten and it seems very unusual.. seems a bit quick.. even though a timeline of the death is not given it still feels like its too soon. what got to me the most was the picture bit… what is her own. if it were a divorce i would understand but the woman died… the new wife has no reason to be threatened.. she cannot come back and cause trouble. psshew.. pele tolu jare. and ify sorry for your loss.. but with that lie.. erm… good luck.