I was reading the news Daily Mail yesterday and was shocked to find out that Scarlett Johansson and her husband of two years, Ryan Reynolds were ending their marriage. It saddened me greatly. Not that Scarly is my big sister or I’m a die hard fan but I’m such a lover of marriage and happy couples so when I see an unhappy one or people throwing in the towel, I get sad. I even cried for some random people that broke up one time and I don’t even know them! Anyways, my over-emotional attitude is a topic for another day.

Recently, almost every week, one popular couple or the other has been announcing their parting. Kate Winslet & Sam Mendes have divorced. Sandra Bullock and Jesse James had finalized their divorce in June this year. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have gone their separate ways after 5 years together. Even old mama and papa too are not left out as Morgan Freeman and Myrna Colley-Lee officially ended their 26-year marriage on September 15, 2010. You would think that after 26 years together, they would have gotten the ‘hang of it’. Courteney Cox and her actor husband, David Arquette too have come up with their own modified divorce and have agreed to a ‘trial separation’. Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle, Eva Longoria filed for divorce on November 17, 2010  to end her three-year marriage to basketball player Tony Parker. She announced: “It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each other’s happiness.”

I know some of you might be yimu-ing thinking, ‘well the West is where all these happen’. Not so my friend! Even at home, people have been changing their ‘I do’ to ‘e don do’. Monalisa Chinda, a Nollywood actress divorced her husband, Victor Olusegun Dejo-Richards. Kenny St. Ogungbe and Eddy ‘Montana’ Brown broke up too. Eucharia Anunobi’s marriage crashed and so did that of Fathia & Saheed Balogun. Kefee of the ‘Branama’ fame broke it off with her husband. Stephanie Okereke too has gone that route. Taribo and Atinuke West said ‘we don’t anymore’ and so did Femi and Funke Kuti.

Yet again, I might have some sceptics who declare, ‘but Temi, those are not speereekokos-extremely spiritual’. Wrong again! We’ve seen people like Benny Hinn, Juanita Bynum and Paula White moving away from marriage.

All these have left me lost in thoughts…

Why, really, do people give up on their love? I’m aware of the fact that most of the people I mentioned don’t really believe in the sanctity and foreverness of marriage but a lot of people back who seem to are following this path too as shown. When a couple decides to split up, is it that they made the wrong choice of partner in the first place? That they had not taken enough time to know each other well? Or did they have dreams which with time, marriage revealed to them to be unrealistic? Or are they not resilient, running away at the slightest provocation?

Why can’t couples just stay together? Statistics has it that there are more divorces now than 30 years ago. Is this because generations past understood that once you say ‘I do’, that’s it? Is it because nowadays, we have so much talk of ‘woman emancipation’ and equality rights and we have abandoned the way things should be? Is it because the men are no more loving unconditionally and the women are no longer being submissive?

I personally believe in ‘no divorce’. I believe it because the Bible says so. I believe it because God said ‘I hate divorce’ (Malachi 2: 16) and He is a wise God. I believe it because I have seen couples weather the storm together, really bad storms but because they have purposed in their hearts that there is ‘no exit’, they fight for what they believe in. I believe it because strict adherence to God’s law yields fruit. No one can say marriage does not have its many and varied challenges. The secret, however, is the couple being of the same mindset…no divorce! This makes you work at it, pray and do whatever you can to save your home.

I’m not speaking from personal experience ’cause frankly, I have none (yet) but I am speaking from the Word of God and from the experiences of those who I have seen apply this Word of God successfully to their marriages. Of course, God is not a magician. It would have been great if you started seeking the face of God concerning your marriage before actually getting married and not asking Him to fix the mess you’ve gotten yourself into (although, God, in His infinite mercy can salvage all situations). However, it will be less stressful to have asked God to lead you in your decision making. So for those of us at this juncture, pray without ceasing, sow seeds of prayer into your marriage. No prayer is wasted. It will one day speak for you.

Some might be thinking it is easy for me to just sit there and spurt out theory so that’s why I want to throw this question at you guys: would you ever get a divorce or advice someone to? Is there any ‘good reason’ to divorce? If you come from a broken home, do you think your parents’ decision is right or do you think they could have tried harder to make it work? Was it because there was cheating/physical abuse going on and you feel for your mom’s safety, it was a wise decision or should they have merely separated and prayerfully sought help? Moving on from the past, how would you conduct your own marriage when the challenges come?

Muse with me…

PS: Happy Anniversary to my parents who today celebrate 33 years together, some hard, some blissful, all the same together. Thank You Lord for their lives.

That’s all folks (for now)


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