It’s over now…

18 Comments

My ex and I had been having off and on moments but generally, we were a happy couple. The thing is this: I am a strong willed girl. I am not easily influenced and I can be very forthright, dishing out my opinions whether or not you ask for them. Some love me some hate me. People are hardly ever indifferent to me. I have a presence everywhere I go-a strong one. For a girl, I guess it means that I need God’s special grace to be submissive, have a meek and gentle spirit and the whole Proverbs 31 works. I take after my dad. We are close but when we argue, even my mother excuses us.

I met Yimika through my friend and I was especially drawn to his calm and reserved nature. I also liked the fact that most of the time, I had my way with him. He might put up a show of disapproval but in the end, it was always done how I wanted it done. We had arguments-many of them and I always ‘won’. Yimika was so gentle to the point of apologising when I was wrong.

We had one of our famous fights but he offended me this time. I took it really personal and said some hurtful things to him which I knew were uncalled for but I guess the Leo in me never permitted me to back down and apologise. You know one of those situations where you believe you guys are tight enough to receive stingers from each other…yea, that’s what I thought. So I dropped the phone on him and hoped he would come round and beg me. He always did. You see, Yimika was like that. He’s Pisces. Pisces are like that. They want peace and would sacrifice their pride and ego on the altar of love and romance. It had always been like that for the 8 months of my relationship with Yimika.

 Anyways, one week of not speaking went into 2 and 2 weeks easily became a month. It was already July and Yimika and I had not spoken in a month. Eventually, I realized I was hurting no one but myself so I went to his house to see him and talk things over. I noticed changes right from the gate. The mai-guard who will usually greet me in a cheerful and bubbly manner was a bit formal. My friends think I exaggerate when I told them this but I could have sworn that Limo, the dog barked angrily at me too.

To cut the tale short:

–          It is over between us-he says he cannot be with someone who constantly brings him down. Now, I had absolutely NO idea I do this. I’m just a very assertive person. And he can be really chilled a lot of the time. So I assumed that what made him like me is because we are different. I thought he was loving the fact that I take charge.

–          He is still single but has decided that there is no need for us to see any longer at least not until we are both totally over each other.

Thinking back, I do realize I might have taken him for granted once or twice but he NEVER complained. How was I to know it was all building up? Now he lists out all my faults and I wonder: why are we in a relationship if you can’t steer me on the right path? Why must you wait till you can take no more and then you explode?

I’m not really trying to win him back because to be honest, I’m a firm believer in the principle: what is yours is yours. But I really would like to pass across two lessons:

-When you’re unhappy in a relationship, tell your partner. Please don’t chill and then break up because you are ‘fed up’ when the other party had no idea something was wrong in the first place.

-Never ever take quiet people for granted. They are DANGEROUS. You might think you can easily walk all over them but the truth is this: they record every step you take over them and they are storing it safely in a box, once it is full, no amount of pleading can take things back to the way they once were. All I had to do was look into Yimika’s eyes to know it was over. Hopeless. He was done.

Anyways just thought to dish out my own nugget of wisdom and hope someone learns without having to experience it firsthand.

***

Let’s call the writer *Busola*. What do you guys think of Busola’s situation? Should every loud, assertive, no nonsense girl aim to be calm and gentle or did God create us all differently for variety sake? Are you a quiet person or do you know any quiet person? How do you relate with them in peace without being too boring or cautious?

Random Info: I am Pisces but I really would not consider myself ‘dangerous’ or unforgiving. The younger me used to find it difficult to let people know I was offended and I did have the tendency to sacrifice myself for peace sake. But now, I’m more refined and mature in my approach. I am still sensitive but I’ve learned to speak out rather than expect people to read my mind.

Advertisements

About me…

3 Comments

Hey lovelies,

Been away for far too long. Miss blogging but work has been time consuming (as it should be) but interesting.

I have some long posts coming up soon but thought to test the blogging waters with this…

Have a lovely Friday.

About me…

1. Do you have any pets?

No. Not by choice though. I’d love to have 8 dogs in my home. Hopefully, Oga will agree to it.

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.

Right now, I have beside me a bottle of water, my hand cream and my diary. There are loads more stuff but I choose to write those three.

3. What’s the weather like right now?

 Cold. Bone hurting cold. And no, I’m not in England. I’m in Lagos but Jand aint got nothing on my office temperature. It is as though we are hell-bent on making you think you are abroad once you step in. I have to have a blazer on or a cup of latte to warm my fingers most times.

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?

Yes. No, I have never crashed. And I will not in Jesus’ name.

5. What time did you wake up this morning?

5 am with a slightly heavy heart. I’m good now though

6. When was the last time you showered?

Erm. For real?

7. What was the last movie you saw?

I think it was the Apes one.

8. What does your last text message say?

Y’ello! Get a FREE Modem and enjoy…bleh. Some random text from MTN.

9. What’s your ringtone?

King of kings (He’s a Wonder)- Loud.

Re Ma Si/Nobody like You-Phone Calls Only

10. Have you ever been to a different country?

Yes.

11. Do you like sushi?

Yes. The eater friendly version.

12. Where do you buy your groceries?

I don’t. If I have to buy my Crunchy Nuts (the only thing I alone eat), I get it from Goodies.

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?

Yes I have. All manners.

14. How many siblings do you have?

3 official. 4 truly truly.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

Both.

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Check my post on the 20th of February 2011. Therein lies the answer.

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?

Glasses but rarely.

18. Do you color your hair?

Nah.

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.

I’m planning to organise a presentation and then rest in preparation for my group jog tomorrow.

20. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday evening at about 8:30pm. No details.

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?

Pepperoni-loads of ‘em.

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?

Cheese burgers

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?

  Yep.

24. What is your eye color?

Brownish blue.

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?

Excuse you?