I really did not want to put a ‘Merry Christmas’ post up today. Number 1: I’m alone as in ALL ALONE. Usually, with a Sidney Sheldon to hand, my Bible and my laptop, I can survive alone for long. But naturally, you see people looking all excited about Christmas and then you feel like there’s something you’re missing out on. I have no family around and I hate intruding on other people’s family time because I believe Christmas is a family thing therefore, I decided not to impose myself on the friends I have here. I know they would have been more than happy to have me around but it’s not just my way.
I remember my first Christmas away from home in 2006. I spent it with this amazing family, my mom’s friends. I think I was more miserable than I would have been had I gently stayed in my accommodation in Sheffield. At around 12 midnight, they all cuddled up together to wish each other a Merry Christmas. In the morning, they began opening presents. Of course, I knew there was nothing for me there and in a way, I was grateful that they did not even try to be fake and do oju aiye so I went to the room to sleep. I woke up at about 7pm. They had loads of visitors over. I helped out smiling all the way and that was it. It was a far cry from home. They tried their best to make me happy but really, it was so hard being away from home.
Anyway, back to 2010…I went to bed at about 3 am yesterday and my plan was to sleep till 1pm-ish so that I’d just pray, have a shower and then off to Choir Practice. That way, my all alone-ness on Christmas Day would not scream out at me. After Practice, I’d just go home, cuddle up in bed with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and watch any random new Yoruba movie or even ‘Alice My First Lady’ for the 4th time on YouTube, sleep off and then voila, the day would be over! But as you can predict, that was not to be. I was up by past 10am. I looked at my BB and there were loads of messages wishing me a Merry Christmas. I was feeling uber grumpy so I proceeded to ignore the forwarded ones (purplish font) and replied a brief ‘Merry Christmas’ to the personalised ones.
A friend put up pictures of all the cooking they were doing in her house on Facebook. Another droned on and on about stuffing a turkey. Each post got me even more depressed. I then went on Youtube, searched for Mary’s Boy Child by Boney M and that even made me feel worse as it reminded me of being home with my brothers and parents watching NTA 2 Channel 5! I called my family, wished them the Merry Christmas I was in no way feeling. My lacrimal glands were on over drive. I was so down!
It was then I thought to myself: Temi, what are you doing? You are falling for the enemies’ ploy! So what you’re all alone?! At least it is because you chose to be not because you were locked away in prison or on a hospital bed or something. If you badly need to be with someone, you have people you can call on. You chose to lock yourself in a flat all by yourself so please, snap out of it! That little admonition helped…greatly.
I got out my Bible and the first passage it opened itself to was so encouraging. I prayed and then did what ALWAYS cheers me up: I listened to a particular song on YouTube. It has never for once failed to put a smile on my face, however small. Today was no different. Despite the funny side to it, it always lifts my spirit because the message is sooo true and so pure. From that clip, others were suggested to me and within a few minutes, I was dancing and praising God for life and for my family.
I’m happy I didn’t give in to the voice of the enemy who wanted me to keep me being sorry for myself and crying all day that I’m not with my family. I’m happy I found myself again despite waking up feeling like rubbish and I am happy that I can genuinely wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS without simply trying to fulfil all righteousness which would have been the case had I done this 4 hours ago.
Merry Christmas to you all!!! May God bless you in all your ways. May goodness and mercy never elude you. May God’s love surround you and your loved ones. You shall not die but live to declare the works of the Lord in the land of the living. In happiness you shall go out and come back. No evil shall come near you. You will have enough to give out. You are a lender and not a borrower. God bless you so much guys! I really appreciate everyone of you.
And yea, you did not think I’d leave without sharing that song and the others with you, did ya? Here we go…
The ever uplifting song:
This one always brings joy to my heart:
I discovered this one today:
Yea, I’m sure by now you know I have a thing for the Igbo language and culture. There’s just something about it…
*Off to get ready for Choir Practice* Have a lovely day!
That’s all folks (for now)
Temiville.xoxo
Gbenga Awomodu
Dec 25, 2010 @ 14:11:38
Cool post. And thank God for you!
You know what? I’ve been struggling to just type away the post I had in mind for today! I hope that I’ll be able to summon enough courage to make the post before the end of today. 😦 I have had a weird idea of staying away from home on Christmas day since 2006 and was going to write random notes ’bout my Xmas history in the last decade or so…
I think I have some energy to go on now!! Cheers!!!
Merry Xmas to you, Temi!
http://gbengaawomodu.wordpress.com
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:05:55
Thanks Gbenga. I’m yet to read your prose on BN. Been so busy but I bet it is amazing!
Abayomi
Dec 25, 2010 @ 14:38:17
Temi,
Great post. I really feel U especially when I am going thru the same feeling like U. U can never feel the same way if U had celebrated Xmas in Nigeria before and now celebrating in this part of the world.
This is my 1st xmas experience away frm my house and most importantly away frm the early xmas morning pounded yam and efo/egusi soup specially prepared for me by Mumsie. Oh now, I appreciate what home means.
Just like U, I found d perfect answer which was to listen to High Praises by RCCG on youtube and I came alive. Truly, there is fullness of joy in the presence of God.
Merry Xmas & enjoy the rest of your day.
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:05:17
Thanks Abayomi, things ended really well in the end. Hope you’re doing well. 🙂
Gretel
Dec 25, 2010 @ 14:48:37
Just felt like seeing you and hugging you,thanks for the prayers,May God give you peace that passes every human understanding,and unspeakable joy forever.Don’t worry,everything will be alright.I love you.Muah.
Gretel-premonition of the past.blogspot.com
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:04:31
(((hug))) thanks Gretel. Love you too hun.xooxoo
Nike'
Dec 25, 2010 @ 15:41:08
Merry Christmas my darling. You are not alone! ((hugs))
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:04:04
Thanks love (((hug)))
Lafunky
Dec 25, 2010 @ 16:05:16
Merry Christmas Temi. Thank God for the gift of life. I thought you were married?
Your post has reminded me why I should be grateful. I’ve always spent Christmas with my family in London but I’ve informed them that from next year I will be spending it with my friends/in-laws as I want them to get used to me not being around on Christmas day before my wedding.
We should have so much joy right now, knowing that God decided to send Jesus to earth so that we could be saved from a life of hopelessness and sin and be a peacemaker for us. We should also recognize in this moment that God saved our life when He sent Jesus, and that because of Jesus, we now can live a life of joy, purpose, peace, and love. It’s good that you have put the enemy to shame by rejoicing.
How come you have choir practice on Christmas day?
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:03:49
Lol…Cos our Practices are usually on Saturdays, we had no choice…No married person turned up though lool. I’m not married…yet. 🙂 Thanks love.
Jennifer Abayowa (Jaycee)
Dec 25, 2010 @ 16:38:07
Awww..Temi. Merry Christmas. I’m so happy you got to write this post, because it means that us, your readers, get to spend this Christmas with you. Yay!
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:02:22
Yay!!! Thanks Jaycee. The latter was greater than the beginning of the day. My friend physically dragged me out of the house anbd we went visiting 🙂
Gretel
Dec 25, 2010 @ 17:06:08
Exactly,I spent this xmzs with Temi.that’s the word.
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:01:05
lool Gretel, 🙂
Joseph Omotayo
Dec 25, 2010 @ 18:55:00
I am spending all my Christmas time all alone at home too. I’m all alone in the house just as you have been. I intentionally stayed back home from travelling with my family to celebrate Christmas at our hometown just because I needed an atmosphere that is quiet and calm. Going through the unnecessary activities that people force on themselves in this season is one thing I would give anything to keep away from. I’m still at home as I typed this, all alone with my internet connection and laptop….
I may need to visit the kitchen now; I have just remembered that the food is not going to take the usual magical turn to my table tonight as I will have to sort the cooking all by myself. Don’t tell me that is the danger of being alone at a time like this…. I’m out of here…!
http://www.josephomotayo.blogspot.com
Taiwo O
Dec 25, 2010 @ 19:33:50
“Merry Xmas” Temi, Thank God you didn’t give in to the voice of the enemy who wanted to keep you being sorry for yourself and crying all day that you’re not with your family. May the peace of God that surpasseth all understanding continue to keep you all the days of your life.
I Love u babe….. keep the word flowing.
temiville
Dec 29, 2010 @ 00:00:39
Love you too darling. Thank you so much…xooxoo
Neefemi
Dec 25, 2010 @ 20:20:30
Merry Christmas
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:59:46
Merry Christmas Neefemi!
Buky
Dec 25, 2010 @ 20:51:09
Hey Girl, today is supposed to be my time off cyber. Once i read your post on my iphone, you have been on my mind. I have had many countless Christmas like that and I know where you are coming from!!
You did the right thing though, many a times i didn’t and i gave in to the voice of depression!!!
You are just one smart beautiful lady, love and thinking of you.
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:59:23
Thanks Aunty Beee! Love you too and may God shower you and your family with His love in all your ways. Amen!!!
aduke
Dec 25, 2010 @ 23:10:31
Wow! Temi, this carries power! Thanks.
Busola
Dec 26, 2010 @ 00:54:10
Temz dude, really encouraging post. Happiness really is a choice as you so clearly pointed out. It really is easy to settle for misery. I am glad you made something of your day.
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:58:23
Thanks B!!!
Gbemi
Dec 26, 2010 @ 14:55:40
Babe, I’m so happy you were able to pick yourself up and make a conscious choice to snap out of the mood…. reminds me of where the Bible says ‘David encouraged himself in the Lord’. Way to go girll!!
In other news, I’m never going to be able to climb up a pedestrian bridge without remembering this song and laughing out loud 🙂
Ladder ladder ladder ladder oh, follow the ladder to heaven…. my favourite part is when the ladder starts going into the sky with the people on it. hehehehe.. plus the dance steps, correct aerobics! thx Temi for sharing
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:58:05
Thanks Gbemi!!!
LOL at the Pedestrian Bridge song…It’s now my ring tone
Tolu
Dec 26, 2010 @ 16:40:01
temi, as i read this, tears escape from my lids , i spent mine with my family ,but i still felt kind of lonely , because there is more that I could do but wasn’t doing , there is a hole inside of me that can only be filled by Christ.temi, i know loneliness, it’s crippling and destructive , it was really nice of you to say NO to it. temi , even though , you are millions of miles from your earthly family, always remember that your real family(Christ, Holy Spirit and zillions of angels ) are with you and waiting for you to just talk to them , sister , please don’t give in to loneliness, you are never alone, look up and see them all around you.
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:57:16
Tolu, thanks so much… It was hard getting out of it but I eventually did. But not without the help of my friend who came over and dragged me out of the house. I’ve learned that we do need people… Thanks love.xxx
Naijamum
Dec 28, 2010 @ 01:46:17
How dare you even think you are ‘alone’
You? A strong believer? No, no, no *wagging my finger and shaking my head*
You will never walk alone. Amen.
To be honest, the loneliest I’ve ever felt is when I’ve been with people I really didnt like! *smile*
Have a blessed 2011
temiville
Dec 28, 2010 @ 23:55:50
lol!!! Thanks Naijamum!!! God bless u.xoxo
Amira
Dec 30, 2010 @ 09:19:22
aww…sorry dear. I am happy you had a happy ending. Have a prosperous 2011.