Thank you guys!!!! I was voted the Best Writing Blog by you all and I am so grateful. It sure feels good! Thank you!!!
Musings of a Caramel Latte Addict by Temiville: Best Writing Blog, 2012 Awards
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I resumed Bar 2 last week Monday and since all I will do is moan about how diffiucult registration week was for those of us in Lagos, I won’t say anything. All I can say is I am really looking forward to this week and trust God it will go great!
Church yesterday was AMAZING!!! Pastor Moses at The Waterbrook spoke the Word and it was something else. It left me thinking. I intend to do a post on it but before I do, please guys read the story of Ahab and Jehoshaphat going to war in 2 Chronicles 18 just to get a feel of what I will be writing on.
Now to today’s post or more like opinion gathering…
I have a friend who tells her mom everything. I mean if a guy so much as gave her a lingering handshake at work, her mom would hear about it and they would start praying about it just in case he is The One. Another friend tells her mom the barest minimum which she might end up finding out from another source e.g. she is in a relationship (after like 5 months).
It is good to tell your mom stuff but the question now is: how much information is too much information? I see some people whose mothers know everything going on in their lives, their marriages-how the man snores loudly, how he eats too much, how they are planning a holiday next year, how the husband is thinking of buying property. I know it’s good to involve your mother in your life but how much involvement is too much especially when that life is not just your life anymore but involves another person, a man (most men will not appreciate being overly discussed)?
What happened to the couple leaving and cleaving or is it just the man to leave and cleave? Some mothers REQUIRE they be told ALL ‘so they can give you advice because what a mother sees sitting down, you cannot see even from the pinnacle of the Empire State Building’ but when do you have to start keeping back some details from her. Is this even right?
If you are not keen on having a husband who discusses everything with his mom, why should you not respond in kind? What do you guys feel? Will you be telling your mother everything since no one loves you as much as she does and she can give you good old person’s view? Or will you keep a lot of things on a ‘my husband and I’ level? For the male folk, are you okay with your mother in law knowing about your marriage since she’s an extension of the home or do you feel disrespected if your wife makes her mom her number one confidante?
Beautiful mom and daughter
Let’s muse!
Temiville.xoxo
Musings of a Caramel Latte Addict 
Nov 19, 2012 @ 06:50:09
Tbh it kind of depends on the said mother tho. Some are kind of cool enough that their daughters can realli talk to them. But the line gets drawn at the marraige aspect but how do you tell a girl who has been sharing withe her mom for years to stop. I think it just comes down to maturity and an understanding in the relationship with your wife.
In all it varies with each relationship, i dnt think derz a blanket standard for everyone
Nov 19, 2012 @ 09:46:09
info. Eitherway, a couple’s business should remain exclusively theirs only when both agree to seek counsel outside. That’s what I think.
Congrats again, Temiville.
xoxo
Nov 19, 2012 @ 09:47:10
a couple’s business should remain exclusively theirs only when both agree to seek counsel outside. That’s what I think.
Congrats again, Temiville.
xoxo
Nov 19, 2012 @ 09:59:22
I for one tell my mum everything. She’s my best friend cos she’s really cool, and understanding. We gist a lot and spend a lot of time on the phone talking daily. If I want to go somewhere and I know popsie won’t let me, I’ll just tell mumsie I’m going to so so place buh I didn’t tell ur hubby o, she’ll grill me about the details and then we set a time I must come back home and that’s all. Popsie might never find out.
But my mum knows where to draw the line. That’s why we’re close. When a particular name keeps coming up in our discussions, she’ll chill for lyk one week and then ask who so so is. Once u say “he’s just a friend” she tells u to be careful and moves on. She doesn’t pepper u for information or pressure u about it but I know she prays for me everytime. She sends me prayer points on my bb et al but she doesn’t invade my privacy.
My conclusion; u can have a close relationship with your mum without crossing the line. All you have to do is set boundaries and use wisdom too cos the good book says “Wisdom is profitable to direct”. Be wise in your dealings.
Congrats on the award. Wish you all the very best in your bar2. Stay blessed
Nov 19, 2012 @ 11:25:42
It’s important to have your parents involved in your life. But you have to draw a line somewhere. I think partners should discuss with each other before inviting their parents into whatever situation they are in
Nov 19, 2012 @ 11:32:00
Congratulations Temi, u deserve it!
Nov 19, 2012 @ 19:00:02
It is absurd… Somethings should be kept between a man, and his wife (infact generally there are somethings one should keep to him/herself). Too many pilots could cause a plane crash..
Nov 19, 2012 @ 19:02:46
And might I add… A big congratulations to you ma’am…. Hope I’d be nominated soon :d
Nov 19, 2012 @ 20:50:08
Congrats! I also made it to Lagos law school so I know what you mean by the registration process. Thank God that’s done.
To your post, I can’t say much but from my sister’s marriage, I believe one has to draw a line on what should be told or shared between the person and his/her parent. For one, you’ve left your parents to start a family of your own. Sharing every detail with one’s parents would only cause friction between husband and wife. Third parties in relationships never ameliorates things.
Nov 20, 2012 @ 08:21:46
This has become the cause for a lot of unhappiness in marriages. A sensible mother in law should know when and how to advise her daughter/son when the information becomes a betrayal of the spouse. If its news you dont need, you cut it off at the bud.
Nov 22, 2012 @ 10:55:14
There should be a limit no matter how close you are