Hello MCLA readers,

I have keenly followed this blog and especially comments from fellow readers on life issues. I have also commented a lot on issues and I know how useful these can be so here I am with my own issue:

I am a happy 23 year old girl and I have this friend who, so far, has been a good part of my life. We are not best buddies but we were good friends, good enough for me to easily open up to her about my concerns and deep issues. She has always been amazing and sweet but she recently hurt me. Badly.

I know the importance of forgiveness and so I committed my hurts, pains and disappointments into God’s hands and I have let it go. I do not want my prayers getting hindered because of unforgiveness as God expressly tells us that the unforgiving will not have his prayers answered. His Word says:

Heb 12:14  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

Heb 12:15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Mat 6:14  For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Mat 6:15  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 17:3  So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

Luke 17:4  If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

However, despite all these, I am finding it difficult maintaining a constant relationship (of any sort) with her. I tried but I realise that with every chat, phone call or encounter, my pain gets refreshed, revisited and I feel a great and renewed sense of hurt. I also realise that when I don’t hear from her or chat with her, I feel peace whenever I think of her even to the extent of praying for her and wishing her well in all her ways. Point is this, I do not think we can keep being friends at least not just yet. In fact, I think we can only be distant acquaintances. Recently, I hid her from my Twitter and Facebook timeline and I find myself happier when I don’t see her constant updates. 

I have justified my reasoning as practising the words of King Solomon in Proverbs 4 where we are encouraged to guard our hearts. My way of guarding my heart is to steer clear of her. It’s like your boyfriend cheating, you breaking up and he wanting to remain ‘good friends’. It just won’t happen immediately (if ever at all). This doesn’t mean you have not forgiven him though! I wish her good but honestly, I believe living peaceably with all men doesn’t mean being best friends. Instead, it means knowing your level with all and being able to be civil with everyone even if it means doing so from a safe distance. 

But please guys, what do think?

Confused in Canley.


As usual people, let’s do this! Muse away, that is…

PS: I have very radical views about the last post concerning the young girl, the man and his wife. I will share them shortly. Have a lovely week. I wish you all God’s blessings and favour in everything you set out to accomplish.