2012 is here and aside of a minor glitch that threatened to steal my joy sometime towards the end of 2011, I am as happy and as grateful and it gets. No no no. I’m not saying everything is rosey and dandy. But through the thorns of life, I still smell the roses. I’m looking to God for a lot of things this year and I will go ahead and share with you the Number 1 on my mind: my career.
I have always been the type who prides herself on being at least a couple of steps ahead of her peers. I got that from my dad. Back in Corona, if I came 2nd, instead of being excited for me that I beat so many others, my dad’s focus would be on that one person I failed to beat.
I took this spirit with me all the way to University. Anyone who knows how Law works would know that getting 68% in a module is something to be happy about. But never I. Once I found out that some people on the course achieved 70 and above, I’d feel as though I did not try hard enough. Through the help of the Holy Spirit, I have been able to lead a pretty content life that simply channeled my nature into a quest for excellence and not outright ‘Get it or Die There’ behaviour.
Now, I am in that phase where I have been handheld by my parents for as long as they owe me and even longer and it’s about time I got that dream job and started towing that career path I worked my butt off at Uni for. I dreaded returning to Nigeria, not mainly because of security issues, lack of constant electricity or bad roads but because of employment matters. I HATE being idle and I HATE doing what I should not be doing. So now that NYSC is practically over for me, the question now arises, ‘What Next?’.
Everyone has a piece of advice to throw at me:
‘Go to Law School, Go back to Jand and use your work permit, Go for your PhD, Get an MBA, Focus on your writing, therein lies your breakthrough, Manage any job o, jobs are hard to come by in Nigeria.’ Decisions decisions.
These are pretty much tough decisions to make and I don’t want life to decide for me. I don’t want to go to Law School simply because I don’t have a dream job. I don’t want to start work simply because it’s not yet time for Law School. I don’t want to start an MBA simply because I gained admission into a prestigious school and I might not have the opportunity to defer it. I want to lead and live a PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE. I don’t want to do stuff just because. No! I want to do stuff because it is RIGHT and God says so. I want to live on purpose not by chance or because the opportunity springs forth.
Even in my search for a job, I want to be able to be offered something and turn it down because it does not fit into the overall picture of my life. I don’t want to just take any job in a remote part of Nigeria because the pay is good and it is better than staying home with mommy and daddy and being turned into Sikiratu Number 2 or mom’s standby driver (lol, my folks won’t do that, or would they?, lol!).
People say wait on God, pray, fast, read your Bible and trust in God. This sometimes can be a painful pill to swallow but believe me, it is the only way forward. It is the only thing that will keep you smiling and able to keep your head up high even as you believe in God to bring you to your Land of Promise.
I had a convo with my beloved brother yesterday and I really felt like strangling him lol and that is part of what has inspired this post. This is how it went: No sooner had I said something about being excited that NYSC would be over soon on my BBM and put this picture than my big bro pounced on me:
Big Brother N: How far with job?
Moi: I’m searching and applying.
Big Brother N: Do you have any concrete one that you’ll be starting after you finish
Well, I have some in the works but I wont say concrete concrete like that
Big Brother N: Temi, I dont think you’re applying enough or trying hard. You can’t sit at home o, you’ll be frustrated.
Moi:Ok
BBN: What of the people mom said you should contact
Moi: Nothing came out of it, I did
BBN:Hmm
Moi:Whats ‘hmm’?
BBN:I’m just saying sha. But they’ll retain you where you are now
Moi:Err no
BBN:Why not?
Moi:Its an MNC and they tend to work with quota, head count ish. And there’s no space now.
BBN:Are you sure?
*at this time, I was livid but trying to control myself*
Moi:Yes dude, I am sure
BBN:Ok o, try harder sha
Moi:Ok
***
A friend of mine was saying how people have been asking her why she’s not yet married? LOL! At least, I’m being spared that. Thank God for every blessing. She says next time she’s asked she’ll promptly respond that she’ll meet herself, toast herself, court herself, propose to herself and marry herself. Lol!
Anyways, I feel much better after letting this out.
I know God is in charge of my affairs and He will sort me out as He will you.
It is well!
On a random note: I want to see how long I can go with my hair, no weaves, no braids just my relaxed hair. This is Week 1. Erm, the first picture above, I’ve lost small weight abi? 😀
Temiville.xoxo
Musings of a Caramel Latte Addict 
Jan 19, 2012 @ 11:45:11
What a powerful laconic missive you’ve got here Temi…..In candour, this is a seemingly “detesting” stage we must all pass through….DECISION DECISION DECISION!!!……But you have said it all. What matters is LIVING A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE.
Welldone ma!!!
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:14:41
Thanks Minister Justin. I appreciate your kind words. God bless
Jan 19, 2012 @ 11:47:17
Ive learnt that this stage of life (i.e. after school and deciding what next) is a very important one and one that determines what direction one is heading (eventually). My advice: This is the time to look inwards (if you’ve not done before) and chase your dreams i.e. that thing you like doing and chase it (expand on it) for the benefit of those around you. For instance, if its writing, can you write about things that are not right around you? How can your writing skills be used to help others? This is also the time to link with the right people, synergise (I hope I got that right). I totally believe that God brought us to this world for others, primarily. You’ve taken the right the decision to wait on God and pray, but usually, the answers to our prayers are staring right back at us.
All the best!
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:16:29
Thanks D. I’m liking that synergise idea. I’m taking some time to do some soul searching. It’s painful but helpful. Thanks again.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 14:48:50
I’m at the exact place where you are right now. I just dont want to do something because I dont have anything else to do or I’m forced to do it. I want to do it because I have a passion for it and most importantly it is where God wants me to be. I want to also have options and choose the best jobs and call the shots. Trusting and believing God to direct me even as I apply for jobs as well.
All the best xx
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:19:38
Greta, may God answer you and give you your heart’s desires. He will lead us in the path He created for you and your destiny will not be derailed. It is well. When it happens, make sure to tell us about it o. Stay blessed.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 15:29:25
Temi, I like you cos you are plain unlike most Naija pple.
Please take anyhing you get first and keep waiting on God for the purposed one. Don’t be idle. It will reduce your self esteem.
On the joking side, I will say, catch a rich man and say goodbye to work.
The women in Arab countries, which purpose dey wan pursue. Life is work, work is life.
All the best.
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:21:17
hahahha. That your rich man idea is tempting oh *wink* but I know myself. Idleness and I don’t mesh well. Thanks hun. God bless you.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 15:59:02
If those are NYSC khakis U̶̲̥̅̊ have on, there’s no way we could use that to assess if U̶̲̥̅̊’ve lost weight. Unless you got a tailor to do a good job on it.
I feel you on the decision-making, joor! U̶̲̥̅̊ get so scared to go out of God’s will α̲̅πϑ purpose for you, that after a point, you give up, choose wat seems best, α̲̅πϑ pray that “all things work together for Ųя good, cos U̶̲̥̅̊ love God, α̲̅πϑ are in His purpose”. At least, that was what I did recently, α̲̅πϑ I’m working with that. I’ve got another major decision to make soon, α̲̅πϑ for that, the Holy Spirit must speak! Wish you well
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:23:03
thanks DrLily. I pray God guides you as you make your next decision.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 16:56:17
Don’t worry, I think we all got something along those lines too, and I know I harassed my baby brother as well…
Wish you all the best babe, and May God open doors for you that you never imagined…just keep believing…and working hard too!
(wink)
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:25:19
Thanks Ema. I’m busy stalking The Writeventures of Ema Leecious. Nice one girl. And congrats on your result.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 16:59:47
Its still Guest.
You pray for guidance and just be bold and STEP.
Most times He orders your steps by default not like you wait every stage for His voice.
At the end of the day sef, what does being a lawyer have to do with eternity or God’s spiritual purpose. I guess you just do whatever good (or lawyering, lol)you can and just relax.
is there a special neighbourhood for earthly achievers in heaven? . . . didn’t think so.
Jan 19, 2012 @ 17:53:33
Don’t worry you would turn out okay. You can use this opportunity to discover yourself. Where I am right now if I could turn back the heads of time I would not have gone to the university to study french, I may have gone to a vocational school to learn a craft, then build on it, adding manufacturing to the scope. So you have to do what you love. Don’t give into pressure please.
take care.
http://www.secretlilies.blogspot.com
Jan 19, 2012 @ 19:18:30
Babe! i know exactly how You feel…Im in the same position now, im even worse, im through with law school, nysc and just finished my LLM….im returning in march and I am so scared..infact the thoughts makes me feel so sick…to make matters worse, I was offered my previous job in Nigeria, but the truth is I dont want to go back there and that”s not the career path I want to take, is that bad?….omo when I told them at home, if u see what they sent back to me, i wept…” I pity you, at your age we were feeding and housing ourselves, you are there talking about career path, wont you start somewhere, its obvious you think you are a child. The kind of job you are looking for have you found it, hissss” so you can imagine,i get where they are coming from thou ….But like you girl, I have decided to leave all to God and pray hard, I know i would get what I want eventually….In between great job on the blog
Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:27:38
Wow Anne. It’s funny how you would never know how many people are going similar stuff till you speak out. I really pray it all works out o. Cos it will be sad being stuck in a job one hates u get?
Jan 19, 2012 @ 20:29:35
Small ke..??? u have lost loads and u look good too.
I think its good you are seeking God face but pple tend use this as an excuse too and say we seeking God.. but I am sure you are not using this as an excuse or falling a trap.
Needless to say I know God will sort you out he always does. He sort us out….
Jan 19, 2012 @ 22:59:06
Hi Temi,
Being reading your blog for a while now and even got some people to read it too but I have never commented. Anyways, I am kinda in your shoes. I resigned November last year cos I hated my job and was quite confident I knew the career path I wanted to tow. I was almost certain that by January, I’d have started work as I had started going on interviews. However, that’s not the case and I feel I’m where I was 3 yrs ago (PRE-NYSC) just like my recently graduated sister. IT turns out I am not as certain as I was then about the career path I wanted to tow and sometimes I feel I am not searching hard enough as the bible does say seek and ye shall find no?
Anyways my word of encouragement is Job 4:6 (Living bible)
At such a time as this, should not trust in God be your confidence? Shouldn’t you believe that God will care for those who are God.
Really enjoy your blog; feel as if I know you and we’ll be good friends if we met. lols
Jan 21, 2012 @ 16:23:16
OMG!! It feels so good 2 have u share it, maybe cos It paints exactly where I’m at right now (although I’ve nuh come close 2 d end of my service year,a set after u).
Wat I’ve come 2 learn from all dahz ever happened to me is dah therez rily an unseen hand dah rules the world (for me, I believe it’s God). He knows everything, my 2mao et al. Things have happened n I jst look back n see twas well planned. Sometimes, I jst feel like I ought to know wat I want from life @ dz time n pursue it with everythin in me…u know, being all focused, purpose driven et al.I know I want to be a successful enterpreneur by 30 (ijst clocked 22), buh it seems like a very broad vision buh wat I’m gonna do? No idea
Above all, I want 2 be happy n fulfilled, wateva is gonnna take dat 4rm me shud pls nuh come 2 me (includin too much money), and I know I’m gonna look back @ these days again n see ow I was jst playin 2 God’s tune 4 me….Hmmm!! This is quite long.lol
Jan 22, 2012 @ 04:26:53
My dear,we are in the same boat oh.only diff is dat I’m a dr n married with a kid.I’m also tryin to get pregnant for num 2 n physical ssigns are not encouraging.I thot finding a job will b easy too,as per dr but men,its awful.rejection after rejection.n drs are scarce oh,I’m at the point where I’ve. Used up all my ideas n resources.I’m just like Lord u hav to do sth oh before hunger will finish me.I was very encouraged by ur writeup.God bleSs u.u know wat keeps me sane?I remind myself of Gods promises to me and it gives me the strength to keep going.can u email ur pin please?I would love to be ur pal.tnx dear
Jan 25, 2012 @ 09:49:00
Temi if I were to be honest, I would tell you to take what you can get now and keep hunting for a number of reasons:
1. Career paths may change, usually they are molded by prevailing socio-economic trends. For instance the wedding/event-management industry, which is a relatively novel trend in Nigeria. If that sector dwindles, then its likely that people who would have considered event management as a career would think otherwise.
My point basically is give yourself time to assess your environment before deciding on a career path. Your chosen path should have a certain degree of flexibility and some basic triggers that will assist you in adapting to whatever situation you subsequently find yourself in.
2. While you assess your opportunities and define your career path, you have to earn money. Maybe you should take whatever is closest to what you studied or whatever is closest to the career you might be leaning towards. You dont know what situation you might be in tomorrow, and the sooner you are financially independent, the better. The truth is there’s no guarantee that employers will even be keen to hire you for a job you dont want (this is not a hit on you or your abilities, its more a reflection of the state of the global job market).
Getting and keeping a good job (even one you detest) is typically a major hustle and not solely a question of your achievements. I guess that’s what your brother was trying to say. That you should just keep pushing and keep searching. Sadly, its often a lifetime endeavour (at least that’s what it would be if you believe in constant self-improvement). Maybe that’s why they call it the “threadmill of life”.
Besides, I know you are aware that the time we spend on earth is less than a dot of the time we will spend in eternity. That’s an even bigger picture.
Jan 25, 2012 @ 14:02:38
Hi Temi
I totally love your blog, but this is the first time I am commenting
I used to be in your shoes some 5 years ago, at that point, I felt it was better to take what comes your way and keep searching.
Looking back now and after discussing with a lot of other people, I think its better to start with something you love to do because you may not be able to leave the job you took in a hurry.
I have met people who are stuck working at jobs they hate because they rushed into a job and now they can’t get anything else. Its a very horrible feeling.
Although it could be frustrating, especially when all your friends are getting offers (I cried on several occassions…lol), I think you’ll eventually get a better deal when you are sure of the career path you want to tow and you focus on getting something along that path.
On a lighter note, why do I have a feeling that the Niyi who commented above is my sister? #just saying
Jan 26, 2012 @ 00:44:31
seriously that why are u not married r dont you have a boyfriend question is a rhetoric one because the only answers to it would mean you being rude like “where is the great single mens market”
Jan 30, 2012 @ 22:03:41
WOW! I can totally relate with this post! Its so strange, less than an hour ago a friend of mine and i were discussing how we didnt want to go to Law School because the time wasnt right yet, plus we didnt want to jump into it right after we finish our LLM.
My father emailed me this morning to remind me to send out my Law school & phd applications….so much pressure….but they dont understand.
Im in the same positions as you, I know that when its time…and if it is needed I will go back to Law school, or do a phd, or an MBA… I want to work, enjoy my job and develop a passion for what I do. I dont want to apply for and accept jobs JUST the pay is right, it will give me something to do and it will make sure I dont go back home to become mommy’s PA.
it seems that this stage in life is where we make the important decisions that are going to stick with us forever….
its really refreshing to know that im not the only one facing this dilemma, atleast i know im not the only confused bunny out there 🙂
…either way, with time, everything will fall into place! (Amen)
Feb 10, 2012 @ 09:01:42
With ds write up, u have just struck a chord in me.
Presently am going thru’ this stage, and as a young lady it can be heart wrenching when d ‘marriage issue’ is being emphasized more than d job issue, or any other thing.
I do not want to be anything more or less than what God has designed for me to be. I do not want to live another person’s purpose or life. I do not want to miss it in life, nor do i want to run one step short of destiny or God’s purpose for my life.
Thus, my only resort has been stedfastly waiting on God (the One who knows my end from my beginning &my beginning from my end).
Like u rightly said, it could be so painful, and could seem time wasting, waiting on God; but it’s d only way to achieving a purpose driven life, and more.
It is only God dt can lead us right into what He has designed for us.
I end with this ‘Commit ur ways unto d Lord; trust also in Him; &He shall bring it to pass’ – Psa 37: 5, Prov 16:3.
Shalom!
Jun 04, 2012 @ 09:49:40
Really encouraging! I’ve been praying to God for direction…”should i move back home(i like the idea of going back home to serve, but I wish NYSC was just 6months, 1 years feels so long)……or should I stay here…all these thoughts in my head, and a decision needs to be made ASAP…I’ve just been exploring my options, keeping an open mind, praying and trusting in God!