*Cleaning the cobwebs*
In fact, I don’t have words. Lol! I have been so busy you would not even understand! Busy with work, busy with personal sturvz. Anyways, it’s good to be back here. I have so much to report lol.
There’s a new commenter on BN who goes by Temi. It’s not me oh! LOL!!! Please because someone commented recently and said something like, ‘Temi for the first time I disagree with you’ and it was clear that there was a bit of confusion because we have two things in common: we look at issues from a Biblical point of view and we make loooong comments lol. The difference is that I have my picture on BN and also I don’t respond to replies to me unless a specific question is asked. I just thought to clear that up hehehe…
Now to the story of the day, please lemme know what your thoughts are here and yes, it is real.
God bless you all… I’m sooo late for work!!!
He hit me the first time. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. But then I dismissed it. I must have angered him by comparing him with Deji, my brother who is a year younger than him but has since graduation been working and is doing well. I thought to myself: I would be tempted to slap my sister if she said such too and so it was not such a big deal that he had hit me. The next time he hit me. I had done nothing wrong. I had said nothing wrong. I was only late in picking up his sister up from the cinema. He is not my husband just a boyfriend of 3 years and I don’t know where I would start from if we broke up, so I forgave him…again.
I cannot say the three years have been blissful, I think we look good together. Darn, everyone thinks we look good together. So I keep up with the pretense that all is well. He has no job. He wants to set up a business. He has been wanting to set up a business for 18 months to no avail. There is a saying: man no work, man no chop. Well, not in his case. He has no work but his monthly pocket money is more than what some earn in a year. He has a car to himself which he did not contribute a dime to.
He comes from a wealthy background so money is no issue. His ‘real’ family home is a mini palace in Accra. In Nigeria, his parents own another mini palace in Ojodu where his 2 siblings and an aunt in live. His parents come over one weekend every month. He rents a flat in 1004. His parents are an elderly couple and seem so peaceful and in love. It is hard to imagine him to be their offspring when he gets angry.
I have prayed and prayed and even fasted about this issue. I discussed it with my friends. You see, I have two best friends (cousins) who are as different as night and day. Anne thinks I should manage. No relationship is perfect, she insists. Her mom gets occasionally slapped around by her dad and in all reality, she’d rather be slapped by a man that apologises with all expense paid trips to Dubai and St Tropez than be loved day and night by a broke nobody. Marrying Tayo was a good way to secure my future as his parents’ wealth, even if they stopped making money today, was still adequate to ensure we lived a very lavish life when we marry. T0kunbo gets disgusted when Anne speaks. She wonders how she ended up with such a materialistic cousin. Tokunbo maintains that I leave Tayo and that if I’m not careful, one day, he will end up killing me. I hope she’s wrong.
I love Tayo and when he’s being himself, he’s the sweetest ever. He’s prayerful. Reads the Bible every morning and my prayer is that God will work on his heart. Didn’t the Bible say that the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord and like a river of water, He can direct it as He pleases?
I’ve done all in my powers to show him I’m a loving, lovely girl and that he should appreciate me. I would go to his house as often as I can manage and cook and clean. A lot of the times, he shows so much appreciation, he even took me out to have dinner for a whole week to say thank you for all my effort-every night from Monday to Friday! On Friday, I forgot to pick up his sister and I got the most recent slap. The sister of whom we speak is not an infant, neither is she a toddler. She is a grown 19 year old who drives and is old enough to call a cab or find her own way from the cinema.
Now, here is my dilemma: inasmuch as I would like to be the ‘strong woman’ and up and leave, I am finding this difficult as not only am I in love with and love Tayo, I’m also used to him. Also, a lot of people would love to see us throw in the towel and though I know this is a bad reason to hang on, I’m really determined to prove that ‘we made it!’. Despite all these, Tayo is a born again Christian who aside of the pressures here and there, has left me sexually untouched in all our three years together. This is rare, trust me. In addition, I have met his entire clan and they like me. He has met mine and they like him (no one knows about the beatings).
If you were in my heels, would you leave him?