Wandering through life…a journey before me. Where do I turn? With whom do I walk? Only You my Saviour, my God and my rock know. Lead me Oh Lord.
I’m introducing a new series entitled ‘Towards tomorrow’. The idea is to encourage us to commit our future into God’s hands by focussing on different facets of our lives. By so doing, we are pretty much investing into our future.
To be honest, I have tried to do things the best way I know how but I have found that only the Lord’s way is right. Towing the path He sets before us helps us evade unnecessary stress, anxiety, worry and trouble. As one wise man once told me, prayers are seeds. By praying today, you sow into your future and you will surely reap it.
I’ll be posting prayers I find on different topics as often as I can. Today, it is on our future partners. Please, feel free to pray it too. In fact, I’d encourage it.
Before we go into the prayers, I want to share with you all a personal story. People on twitter have already been given an overview of this tale. However, I wish to use this platform to give a more detailed version of my experience. This is not it happened to one ‘Ifeoma’ or one ‘Mary’. It happened to me, Temi. Read and learn.
I moved to Nigeria sometime in March this year. I felt it was time to start another phase of my life-post student phase. My mom, a very prayerful woman, prayed and prayed for me that day I stepped into Naij. One particular prayer point she kept mentioning was that God should lead me to my partner and soon too. I said amen…with my whole heart, lol.
Anyway, everyday I go out, there’s this feeling that ‘today might be the day’ if you know what I mean, hehehe. On a more serious note, I always pray that God should open my spiritual eyes so I don’t miss out on His best for me. I always pray that as I keep myself engaged in his business and delight myself in Him, He will sort me out. If you have been following MCLA for a while now, you would know that as much as I value spirituality and a close relationship with God, I would really like for my future partner to be tall . Read my musing on this here.
So one fateful day, I met this young gentleman somewhere near my Local Government (Eti Osa 1). I gave him my number after debating it for a while. I thought, oh well, if he turns out to be a nuisance, I’ll just never pick. It’s not that serious. So, like I said, I gave him my number and we got talking. Lagos is a very busy place and I am an introvert so in the period of two months, we saw each other face to face for a total of 45 minutes or so. The rest was just chatting on the phone. He looked good-on paper. Speaks well though he had a bit of the dreaded hybrid accent. The hybrid accent, as I term it, is spoken by people who can’t make up their minds whether they want to do it the Yankee, Jand, Jamaican, Kenyan or Nigerian way. So they just serve up their speech in a mixture of all variations. We heard this a lot during the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria pageant. Too funny. I digress.
This dude used to talk about his church and his pastor at his RCCG in Surulere. He even used to give me summaries of the message (well this happened once). Although, he looked good on paper, somewhere in my mind, I was not comfortable and the fact that we never really used to see made it easy for me to think straight. He had one thing going for him big time though- he was tall, my kind of tall.
To cut the very long story short, one fateful evening, we were speaking over the phone and I was on the internet so I decided to look him up on Facebook. I asked for his ID and I found some disturbing things. I kinda was expecting to see that he is in a relationship or something of that nature but that would have been mild in comparison to my findings which go thus:
1. He has a different name on Facebook from what he gave me. He quickly tried to allay my suspicion by telling me the name he gave me was his middle name. I was still confused. If anything, the name on your FB should be your middle name while you give me your real name not the other way round. It was therefore very worrying that he had given me a name he does not really go by.
2 and most shocking. It turned out bros is actually a practising muslim! Yes, you read me right. On his FB, he liked about 15-20 pages praising Islam and the deities thereof. Don’t get me wrong, a number of my nearest and dearest are muslim but I have decided to marry a Christian so had I known this dude was muslim, I would have known how to categorise our relationship from the get-go. His 6 3 frame would not have meant anything. Not only is he a muslim, he appeared to be a very strong one as even my muslim friends don’t have their FB profiles sprinkled with so much religious bits and pieces.
Now, what shall we say to these things?
I had heard about this type of behaviour: man pretending to be a Christian, lady marries him, a day after wedding, he brings out his mat to pray. But to be honest, I found it a bit ridiculous. It was almost unbelievable. This has proved to me that it is not as outrageous as I thought. There are so many men/women out there who would alter their personal profiles to suit yours when they meet you. It takes only God to unveil these things before it is too late. If you are not the type to commit it all into your Father’s hands and simply ask for His stamp of approval after falling in love, it might end up in a disaster.
You know if we had been talking and seeing more, I could have fallen and next thing, I would join the league of ladies who are ‘praying for the partners to change’. This revelation exposed my limitations to me and made me appreciate once again that only God can help and lead us aright. Hence, the need to ask for His grace and His mercy and His leading…
No, the moral of the story is not that it is wrong for me to want a tall person, lol. The moral is that I have no wisdom of my own and only God can reveal ‘the One’ to me. Therefore, I should cling to him…alone.
This is a prayer I believe sums looking unto God for the His choice of a spouse for us all up. Let us pray it as often as we can.
***
Lord God, your Word declares that if I delight myself in you—if I enjoy and seek your pleasure above mine—you’ll give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish because marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4).
At the beginning of creation, you proclaimed, “It is not good that man should be alone” and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that you would protect the husband—a suitable partner—you have chosen for me.
Because the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God. Please give me a husband whose love for me is only outmatched by his love for you; a man who will cherish me and build me up (Proverbs 31:28); a man who will honor me (I Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows; a man who will be a good father and provider; a man whom I will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually; a man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).
Keep me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that’s second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one.
Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts.
Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner.
In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5).
I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6,7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good, to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35). Amen.
NB: I’m not one to use prayer books, that was until I found this one two days ago: Prayers to move your mountains by Michael Klassen and Thomas Freling. The prayers there are basically like reading your Bible-they are all taken out of God’s Word. I recommend it!
*I’m thanking God for healing in advance*
On a note so cheery note, may the soul of Christie Essien Igbokwe rest in peace. She passed away this morning after a brief illness.
Have a nice weekend people!
Temiville.xoxo
Deji
Jun 30, 2011 @ 18:44:31
hmmm…strong words. The prayer really covers all we need to place before God as regards future partners and if we can say the prayer with a true heart, I believe God will answer.
Thank God for opening your eyes the way He did. I also believe that’s His own way of sending you a message.
007Belle
Jun 30, 2011 @ 19:25:44
I love the prayer and have saved it so i can turn to it when my words fail me. It is indeed powerful. (I hope i haven’t breached any laws) Thank God for opening your eyes early on. He indeed is our Shield!
angelsbeauty
Jun 30, 2011 @ 20:27:44
oh my.. i just saw her perfoming a few weeks ago on nigerian idol or something like that with the finalist… wow… may her soul rest in peace,
amen to your prayers sister!
but mehn, brother has liver o! But how do people go about deceiving people without an aota of guilt! may God open our eyes, ears and all we need o.. amin.
Purpleicious Babe
Jul 01, 2011 @ 00:53:18
dreaded hybrid accent (I am stealing this)…. I Love it…… summaries what I call messed up/unclear/wannbe not sure accent…. jokes..
Thank God for his love and wisdom and his direction in leading you right and you listening.
Thank you for the prayer points…(I do pray like that not with much bible verses but I guess I should, will come back for the references).
So Temi I have a question that baffles me alot. A clarification will be appreciated.(Does God chose our partner for us or we get to chose? I am not sure anymore… one minute God is choosing, the next God is not… ). I have decided that God and I will work in partnership cos I don tire for this commotion jare. Proverbs 18 vs 22…
To something that bugs me when people say God will??? I never really understand what they mean to be fair…. (From my own understanding God will are things that are of God that glorifies God and are godly…)So, when people say God will be done.. what do they mean?? That his good thoughts towards should come to pass or what?? Anyways that always scares me, because although I know God will for my life is perfect there is a still that fear factor that his will is something that I might not have thought about and might end up hating (I know he will give m grace to endure)…(I am just gona leave it like that.. I am starting to confuse me…)
To round up my comment, I think a person that has a genuine relationship with God and prays with sincerity and puts God first above everything is able to make the right decision in terms of choosing the right partner( e.g. Abraham’s servant found Isaac wife). This is because God lives in you and his principles in you will always let u know ( that is why I know for a fact I can’t attract certain kind of people, cos the habit they contain or exhibit repulse my spirit and I will not entertain such (this is not discrimination).. Basically, no peace guaranteed no relationship. I feel like he has given me wisdom to discern what is real and fake. It is now up to me to sit there or walk away…
I am not a confirmation person……(the word confirmation is used so loosely.. I actually do not value it now).. I just feel in my spirit I will know he is the one when I meet him. Like I am so sure of it… I will just know… (sha, I dont know why I have an essay sef…. am on a long break and I am loving it too) All the same. God should be our head and should have the last say..
disgodkidd
Jul 01, 2011 @ 05:33:26
you have said it all…
oyin
Jul 01, 2011 @ 07:08:43
hi temi..i stumbled on ur blog from bella naija. well i do bless the day i clicked on that link and came to you blog.
i usually wonder around on the internet literally looking for what to fill my mind with as i am still trying to grow in my walk with God and want to stop reading and watching things that don’t edify my spirit any more.
ur posts have been very encouraging. reading about how ur working to please God and serve to the best of ability makes me know that i’m not in this struggle of fresh and sin alone and that its possible to overcome. thank you for challenging me in many ways to want to serve God better.
Tolu
Jul 01, 2011 @ 10:30:31
Really felt touched and moved by this post. Its been quite challenging for me to run this spiritual race and not deviate from the luv God has for me. While this post touched my spiritual being and helped me analyze my walk and relationship wit God, it also shed more light into the power of prayer and its effect in our lives.
I pray that the Lord empowers u the more as u reach out to many souls lost out there and looking for a means of getting closer and having a personal relationship wit God. God bless u abundantly.
temiville
Jul 02, 2011 @ 09:22:45
God’s grace is sufficient. Without doubt, it does get difficult at times, but He will help us. amen to your prayers. God bless you loads!!
Ema
Jul 01, 2011 @ 10:37:37
A big amen to your prayer…
We are told to be “… as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves”
So we have to “open our eyes”
Shina Adegbola
Jul 01, 2011 @ 15:07:08
Adam chose Eve. God didn’t force her on him, God brought her to him and he had to deliberate before saying, “Bone of my . . . “.
If she wasn’t, God would have provided or done something else
(afterall, Cain and Seth must have married some other human beings and it was not mentioned). He had to see and say for himself that she complemented him.
Abraham’s servant was looking for a female kindred of Abraham (to propose to) not really a wife. Even at that Rebecca still had to confirm by herself and also didn’t she later conspire against her husband with Jacob?
God will not choose, you choose but He will bring opportunities. You have to do the brainwork and legwork, lol to test the compatibility aspect: of dreams, passions, background, beliefs, future plans, etc.
P.S. You didn’t post my comment yesterday. Temi, why?
Anyway, much respect for your blog.
temiville
Jul 02, 2011 @ 09:24:01
Shina!!! Mabinu jor. I’m just approving all the comments now as I got access to the internet. Thanks so much for your kind words. God bless u.xxx
Es Tee
Jul 04, 2011 @ 01:02:32
@ Shina, I concur… the most important thing is finding a life partner in someone who will help in fulfilling God’s purposes for our lives. Apparently, it is possible that there could be a few people who could fit those shoes so it’s up to you to pick one of those, with God’s guidance and approval of course.
LMAO @ the bros in this story. I’ve heard stories but never heard of a Muslim posing to be a Christian. As in… the things people would do, huh?
Definitely, we can not do it by ourselves. I know that now, having met and fallen for someone I was sooo sure could be the One. Everything just seemed right. Didn’t turn out as perfect as I had thought. In retrospect, if I had let God in on time and not depend on my own ability to know who’s right for me or not, I woulda known he’s far from being the right one for me. Ah well, we learn from our mistakes.
May He guide us all in making the right choice.
kayode2life
Jul 19, 2011 @ 22:05:10
A clay cannot make a choice for the potter – what if the potter decide to make you the clay dormant, where will u have the opportunity to make choice. As a clay, u have no right whatsoever to make any choice before your maker. He has the final say, and infinite wisdom regarding to what we want/need at any given stage of our lives.
(Gen 1: 26) says: Then God said. “let us make man in our image, in our likeness,….
Now as a Clay Adam being formed out of the dust of the earth; was without breath all organs formed including bones and flesh all in their various proportions were made but breath was not in the lifeless body. Then God breath the breath of life into man and man became alive.
God is the porter that made the clay into the form / shape of man. who is Adam (clay) to have told God to make him another shape or form other than the way he was made when Adam had no breath or life in him?
Its OK to present your ‘request to God’ but you cannot tell him to approve what you want even when its not in Gods agenda for your life. cos the bible says:(Isa 55:8-9) …. my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are my ways your ways……. most times what you choose for yourself all in the name of “I Fell in Love with You” may not be his choice for you.
God dictates for you and you have to listen to what he says irrespective of your own agendas.
In (1 Cor 3: 18, 19-20)says: For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the scripture say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.”
VERSE 20 “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise; he knows THEY ARE WORTHLESS.
(1 COR 1: 27-28) ( 27 a )says….instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise.
Food for Thought: Be wise and seek Gods face what he really wants for you and not what you present for him seeking his stamp of approval; cos ‘Flesh lusted after flesh, spirit after spirit’.
gretel
Jul 01, 2011 @ 18:23:33
yeaaa,yhu’ve said it all and we really need to pray towards a greater tomorrow.
xoxo
Blessing
Jul 01, 2011 @ 18:50:00
WOW that’s deep!
People and their evil ways! I thank God for revealing the truth to you
Thanks for sharing that amazing prayer!
GOD BLESS
Temi (too)
Jul 02, 2011 @ 09:18:36
Love this, Temi. This was just… beautiful. I was laughing, nodding my head seriously, re reading throughout the whole piece. But what was most ‘striking’ to me was the prayer that God should give us the grace not to seek our fulfilment in another person. Reminded me of what something TD Jakes once said that most relationship issues are because we have the audacity to expect of man what only God can give. True
God will settle beautifully and perfectly all single ladies (and guys too) who are waiting for His Perfect Will IJN. And may we all be wise to know the time of our visitations…
God bless
temiville
Jul 02, 2011 @ 09:27:12
A fellow Temi?!!!!! Wooop woop! Amen to your prayers! God bless you. I love TD Jakes btw.
Irene
Jul 04, 2011 @ 22:40:41
God bless you my dear! This has been on my mind for a while now and i know me reading this article was’nt a coincidence. anywaysss WHO HAS THE FINAL SAY? JEHOVAH HAS THE FINAL SAY !!! *singing and dancing*………………….
temiville
Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:23:30
Singing and dancing along!!!
Lue
Jul 07, 2011 @ 11:45:00
hmmm…….a very good read. some guys can be very funny sha. may God rant us wisdom
temiville
Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:22:10
Amin oooo!!!
Jay-D
Jul 18, 2011 @ 15:21:41
Nice blog will start following you henceforth. Your words of encouragement made my day. May the good Lord continue to guide us as we journey through life and may he open our eyes to see when the right one comes along.
mbabazi
Jul 19, 2011 @ 07:25:54
this is great temi, exactly what single people should be saying to God but also practicing that. I am now engaged but i continue for God to keep me and my partner faithlessness and the responsibility is even more because then you have to seek God for completely everything as your going into the longtern commitment of marriage.
ayo
Aug 01, 2011 @ 09:28:46
We single has a lot to do when it’s come to d issue of marriage. I knw God can do it if u walk uprightly wit him. i met a guy on fb last month, we started talking on fone, making me to believe he is a born again christain but u knw i dnt want to miss it marriage even if i miss it in other area of my life. But thanks be to God i went for 3 days fasting & prayer & the Lord manifest him self. 3 days ago the guy called me dat he is feeling me & ask me to come to minna where he lives but later sha he come out that he feel like having sex with me & even ask me to play wit him on fone…..my dear temi, i didnt walk but i ran. Ladies shld pls be patient & pray to GOD for guidaiance. thanks
juicygal
Jan 28, 2012 @ 00:12:34
This is the first time I read a complete strangers blog, and my jaw dropped the whole time. Your writing is inpeacable. The things that you write about is so so true, and believable. You’re a really special person, I pray that God continues to use u in an extraordinary way to bless the lives of others. weldone!!!
adetole
Mar 06, 2012 @ 14:09:32
This is the first time i really took my time to read most of your post and am really grateful to God that i read this. I say a very big amen to all your prayers cos this is what am going though right now.
More power to your elbows, may all your heart desires find fulfillment IJN
adetola
Mar 06, 2012 @ 14:17:23
Sorry name is Adetola
Vic
Mar 08, 2012 @ 16:35:28
Wow,a very deep one,I’m beginning to understand the things of God,the things he wants from me and my role in making them happen.I only stumbled on a link to one of your post through TNC and it’s being a blessing so far,it’s like you were sent to address issues concerning me and I’m not taking God’s word for granted,I’m thanking God on your behalf..Keep up the good work..
The Cake or the Icing... -
May 16, 2018 @ 17:24:35