Can I be honest? As in reeeaaally honest? I’ll go ahead and be honest anyways…hehehe. Up until I was 18, I was hoping to marry a guy whose mom was long gone (ie DEAD) and had NO sisters. *dodging daggers* Before you take me to the gallows, let me first point out that now, I don’t hold that hope anymore.
What exactly put these thoughts my way? For some ladies out there who have had a glimpse into what life can be with horrid in-laws, my justifications are simply unnecessary. They know them far too well. But for others who have been surrounded with stories of and personal amazing experiences with in-laws, I need to expatiate further.
Mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law too have the power to be the best thing that can ever happen to you or the absolute WORST! They have such strong holds on their sons/brothers in more ways than can be coherently explained. It is just way God made it. Also, women have this God-given power which if used in the good, Godly and loving way, can have a positive impact on all around them. Unfortunately, the reverse is also the case.
I have heard of cases where moms just cannot stand their sons being all loving, giving and caring to their daughters-in-law! They just go green with envy. I personally think it reminds them of the things they lacked in their own marriage because hardly will you find a woman in a beautiful marriage feeling bad when she sees her son building one for himself. It is just that same age-long woman versus woman jealousy. ‘How can this small geh be enjoying like this ehn? All the things I laboured for! Where was she when I sold firewood in the market to send him to school? Where was she? Tell me!’
To be fair, there are cases where moms love their sons so much and are just insanely protective of them and are suspicious of every girl. I mean every girl! They just do not trust them. They think they are pretending no matter what they do. If you like kneel down to the ground on Oxford Street till you knees begin to bleed, they will not budge! Here, it is not the envy that is influencing their behaviour, it is FEAR. Fear that ‘this girl is just not good enough for my son’.
So as the daughter in law in this case, what do you do? Do you begin to quote Psalm 35 LOUDLY which begins with ‘Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me’ during your prayer sessions whenever she comes visiting so she can hear you reporting her to GOD? Do you hoover her legs and pretend it was ‘a mistake’ (now, where did that come from? hehehe). Do you do what Jennifer Lopez did to her monster mother-in-law? Check out this scene:
These, appealing as they may seem (to a mean few) are not the ways forward. I kinda like Ini Edo’s approach to her horrific mother-in-law, Patience Ozokwor in MOTHERS-IN-LAW. I thought she was fab up until when she started fighting with her. I don’t think that is a good idea. I really don’t. Watch it here:
I think the best thing to do is to continually show love to her. I know it seems foolish but you can only fight hatred with love. You can only overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). Don’t just be a mumu however. A mumu is someone who in this situaton will just be showing love without PRAYING. You need to get down on your knees and ask God to help. You need to ask the Holy Spirit to give you WISDOM because wisdom is indeed the principal thing (Proverbs 4:7). You ‘cannot win the battle’ without God. No amount of love you show can do the trick. God needs to intervene.
Well, well, well…there you have it. However, for those of us single ladies out there, the best thing to do right now will not be to wish your future moms-in-law are already dead or die before we meet our husbands, the best thing is to begin to invest some hours per week in prayer SPECIFICALLY on this issue. Trust me it can bring bliss to a home when your mom-in-law is a true MOTHER to you and it can also bring untold sorrows when she is a MONSTER. So ladies, open your mouth and let your prayers roar like THUNDER!!! hehehe.
By God’s grace we will be able to wear this badge without feeling like liars.
PS: I’m loving this song by Out of Eden Have Mercy <—-click to listen.
That’s all folks (for now)