Omo Ondo ni mi :D

Hi people!!!

So I’m on a weeklong Easter break from Law School and during this break, I plan to study and also blog so I’m just here sitting at my desk remembering all the stories I planned to share once I get out of my self-imposed hiatus.

I went to Ondo last weekend and it was quite the trip. We were in the car for hours but I thoroughly enjoyed it. That made it the second time I would be in Ondo state and I actually think I want to go more often. I saw a resort-esque place there. Not a bad getaway from all the busyness of Lagos at least a weekend a year or a weekend in 2 years. Lovely experience!

Yes, I’m from Ondo and as you can tell, I don’t come from a family where going home every holiday is mandated or even encouraged. But I felt this feeling of peace when I entered the place. I was like ‘so this is where daddy grew up. This is the state he went to primary and secondary school and would walk for miles on his bare feet etc’ (oh sorry, that was Jonathan not my dad, lol) I really enjoyed it. I guess as you get older you begin to appreciate all these little things more. Do you guys go to your hometown often? I don’t mean those of you from Ibadan or Abeokuta o :p. That one is not village. I mean far distances. Or you are discouraged from taking long trips ‘before something bad happens’?

I think it’s good to experience it once in a while. I’m actually from Ile-Oluji. I intend to visit one of these days and see how it is there.

Meanwhile enjoy these pictures of my beautiful state of origin…

Governor Mimiko

Dancers

Diet/Lifestyle Change

Hi people,

Howdy? A few people such as IBK have asked about my lifestyle change and I want to share it with you all in this post. The key each day is that I must use more than what I take in. This means I must use up more calories than I eat. That was the cause of this whole weight gain in Bwari. I mean, from crazy Lagos driving, working in a busy Law firm, going up and down, I found myself in a place where it was from my room to class to mammy to eat and back to my room. And yet, I ate the same portions I would eat during my days of having a tight and busy schedule in Lagos. My body, for the reduced work it was doing, certainly didn’t need so much food anymore. In order to maintain my weight, I should have cut my food by a quarter and in order to lose weight, by a half. Anyways, all that is neither here nor there. The issue is what am I doing  NOW to deal with the situation.

Well, I start my day with 2 cups of water. I’ve read that drinking ice cold water first thing in the morning is an easy way to speed up your metabolism. Right when you wake up, drink a glass or two of cold water. Your body will have to warm up the water entering your system, which means increasing your metabolism in the process. It’s a simple step to add into your daily routine that, while not a miracle cure, can certainly contribute to your other weight loss efforts (http://www.fitday.com)

I LOVE coffee!

At about 8 am, I have my cup of coffee with less sugar and milk than I would normally use (don’t bother advising me against coffee- the name of my blog should be instructive in this regard :p). That carries me till about 11am when I have king size portion of fruits- I love pawpaws because the sugar content in them is low and they are so filling and have great effects on the skin.

So I have what will equate to 2 N50 slices of hard pawpaws. By 4:00/4:30, I am ready for what will end up being my only meal of the day. I still eat rice, yam but very reduced portions. So my plate has less whites and more colors. I have vegetables with my meal and drink loads of water. I have little portions of nuts during the day as my snack. At 8/9, I have more fruits and that’s it!

This is different from when I’d starve myself or skip meals. Now I always feel filled but I’m now filled with the right stuff that is good for me. My portions are small but not so small that I’d be craving another meal in a few hours.

I believe this kinda diet is sustainable. I also do a lot of housework that gets me sweating. I was sweeping and mopping yesterday and sweating like no man’s business. I’m not so great with the gym and always waste my membership so I have to figure out how to make diet work . I also pray to God for strength. I have reduced my Coke intake and have more water instead.

I have also stopped checking the scales every time or expecting tight clothes to automatically be free. I’m okay with the change taking two months to start being apparent remembering that my weight gain took a whole 3 months to build up. I have 4 inches to lose all over. So my waist needs to go back to 27 etc. Right now, clothes are fitting better and I feel better within. The changes are small but I celebrate them. If I can get back to my pre-Bwari size by the end of December 2012, I shall be a happy bunny. I also watch loads of weight loss videos on YouTube for inspiration. Check this one out:

Do you guys have any additional tips to share?

Temiville.xoxo

November!

Hi people!

Thank God for the grace to see a new month! I’m really thankful for my friends, family, readers, my country. God has been faithful. One more month and 2012 is over! Woohoo! Yes, I might not have achieved every single thing I set out to do, but for those I have accomplished, I am grateful to God. I pray great things will keep happening to all of us in Jesus’ name. Amen.

A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine who I believe God just blessed with the best body size in the world. She is tall, slim, fit, great body. I remember looking at her back then in Bwari and thinking to myself: Nawa o, shebi this is a human being. Eating and yet normal.

I was frustrated with myself for every little extra weight I put on. I went into all manners of diets in Bwari. In the month of August, I went on a no carbs diet, totally shunning rice yet no change. I would deprive myself and be upset at what I can’t have and then comfort myself that today’s deprivation is tomorrow’s body. Yet nothing. I would go jogging in the mornings, nothing. In fact, since I got back home a few weeks ago, a total of eleven people have said things along these lines: Temi, nawa o. You must have been really enjoying in that your village of Bwari. You’ve chopped up. I would smile sweetly in response and not even bother denying it. Inside, I was so upset. Those who were too polite to say it gave me the ‘you’re fat’ look. Either way, I got the message!

So yeah, I got chatting with this super slim, super fit friend and I asked her if she was on any diet half expecting her to give me the ‘oh no, I’m just naturally slim’ talk. To my shock, I got this response:

“Yes o. I’m on a diet. I don’t eat carbs at all. I have boiled egg in the morning and vegetables in the afternoon. All my meals end at 2pm. If I’m hungry later, I have a cracker and that’s it.”

I was speechless. Wow. So even this perfect looking girl was doing something to look so perfect. Now this brings me to my point…

***

It’s very easy to look at people that seem to have it right and credit it to their good fortune forgetting that a good chunk of people put in the work to get the results. Some people look like they have the perfect job that gives them all the nice perks. You don’t know how hard they pray and work. Some people seem like their marriage is just so amazing. You do not know how much the woman has to forgo her own desires and submit to her husband’s. You don’t know how hard it is for that man to love his wife in the way Christ commanded. You don’t know how much prayer has gone down. You don’t know how some people wake up at 4:30 am to command their mornings in order to have the perfect day you always think they have. You don’t know the struggles. You don’t know the sacrifices. You only see the result. And then you say: I wish I had that kind of marriage. I wish I had that job, the list is unending.

My point is this: nothing good comes easy-not for you and certainly not for the next guy that has things going good. Pray, put in the work and by God’s grace, you will achieve your goals.Now, I’m not sure I can do the no food after 2pm thingy, but I started a form of diet about 2 weeks ago that is more of a lifestyle change and I’m already seeing changes. I just cannot be fat mehn!

Have a lovely week ahead! God bless and keep us all. May the ills of the ‘…ember’ months not be ours nor our families’ in Jesus’ name.

Love,

Temiville.xoxo

Bar Part 1 is over!

Hi people,

I won’t even go into details of how much of a while it has been. It’s been too long mehn. But yeah, Bar Part 1 is over!!!

Just a quick recap: after running away from it for almost 4 years, I decided to go to the Nigerian Law School in June. I knew without an iota of doubt that this is EXACTLY what I wanted. Plus, after interning with two Magic Circle law firms (Naija version) and seeing the emphasis placed on seniority at the bar (especially in one of them), I gave myself brain and decided that -3 is better than -4. I mean, I had some of my juniors from Secondary School giving me files to carry and asking ‘Temi, how far with the assignment I gave you?’ *wails uncontrollably*. Anyways, as my dad will say, humility will only take you higher and so, I am learning to be humble and trust God’s plans and timing for my life. The consolation I have is that at least, I wasn’t playing during my post LLB years and I do not regret the decisions I have made in life. HOWEVER, note of warning: He who hath ears, let him hear. If you are planning to practice as a lawyer in Nigeria, as soon as you are through with your LLB or max LLM, fly straight to Bwari and begin your law school programme. Do not even try chilling and hustling for work in Jand or Yankee UNLESS you intend to stay back because frankly, the experience doesn’t do that much for you. I have said my piece.

Ok, so I am done with Bar Part 1 and will soon commence the second, main and final leg of the programme. When I started law school, I got a lot of advice from those that were on their Bar 2 programme saying things like, ‘Temi, you like to stress yourself, you better relax and save all your zeal for Bar 2′, ‘Bar 1 is a joke, you can study a day before and do well’, ‘Why on earth are you organising a Study Group? Go to La Liga, go to Elim, go to Play, chill, relax, have fun, it’s just Pass or Fail’. All I can say is THANK GOD I DID NOT LISTEN!!! I can tell you for free that Bar 1 is not a joke. Not unless you are a risk taker. I am not. Aside of the huge sum of money the BL costs, I really have no interest in coming out of exams and not certain that it went well. My friends and I all agree that if we hadn’t studied hard, burnt the midnight oil, we would have really struggled. It wasn’t entirely a piece of cake. But I thank and trust God sha.

Thank You Lord for the successful completion of Bar 1. Trusting You for the Bar 2.

Onto the next 1!

Yay!!! Nominated in 2 categories!!!

Eshe pupo! Thank you people. Despite my absenteeism, you have all chosen not to pull an ‘Outta sight, outta mind’ on me and for this, I am so so so grateful.

MCLA was nominated in 2 categories: Best Writing Blog and Nigerian Blog of the Year!

 

 

I’m especially excited because I realised nominations were open really late into the exercise so to have made it makes me happy. Actual voting to win starts on Monday!!!

This is the push/motivation I need, lol.

Love loads,

Temiville.xoxo

My first ever Aristo offer/invitation to treat

Sometimes, the distinction between an offer and an invitation to treat gets blurred to me but maybe when I tell my tale, you’ll help me decide what exactly it was.

Ok, Bwari hasn’t beenhalf dreadful as I feared. The people here are cool and also, I didn’t nurse any lofty hopes of having fun so I pretty much am content with whatever snippets of fun I experience. The other day, a few friends and I decided to go to Abuja to see a movie and just chill. Somewhere in the lot, an old man pulls up in a big jeep (don’t know which make but it was big) and before I can say Caramel, a guy walks up to me telling me that Old Man is calling me, pointing at the jeep. I turn towards the direction of the vehicle and there he was giving me a 200 watt smile. I give him my best scowl in return and tell the messenger I am not interested.

Not quite 2 minutes after, the messenger returns with a wad of 1000 naira notes totaling about 20k from the look of it and a business card. I give him a stern look and tell him toleave me be. All the while, I was waiting for my friend. I watch him deliver the money back to Old Man, Old Man giving him about 5k and then shoving the card back at the messenger who comes trotting back towards me. This time, I do not wait for him to speak, I tell him, “if you keep disturbing me you won’t like what will happen to you” (like I could do anything). He briskly walks back to the jeep and hands the card back to Old Man who takes it and screeches away in evident anger.

Wow! I have seen this happen with Tonto Dike and Pete Edochie but seeing it happen live and to me was quite a different experience. I gisted my friend who told me its no big deal, this is Abuja, it happens every hour, nothing strange, in fact the strange thing in most people’s views would be my reaction. Interesting. That man was old enough to be my father. He wasn’t even scared. Wow. Wow. Wow!

Anyway that’s my story. To all the contract law gurus out there, was that an outright offer or an invitation treat?

Thats all folks,

Temiville.xoxo

*Here’s wishing all the Bar Finals takers the very best in their exams.*

Waiting on God

Hello people,

How are ya? It’s been a really lovely weekend for me. Yes, I’m adding Monday and Tuesday to my weekend days though there was work on Monday for me. I saw movies on Friday (yep movieS-two of them (MIB3-total let-down and Dark Shadows-ok) to wait out the traffic. I went with a friend for his friend’s event and then another friend of his proceeded to pull my cheek as soon as we were introduced. I was livid but tried hard to contain and mask my irritation. Who does that? How can you be pulling someone’s cheeks? I’m genuinely confused. I understand that Children’s Day was just around the corner but odindin 5 9″ frame mi, getting cheek-pulled by a total stranger?! I didn’t like that one bit. I do know that I have cute come-pull-me cheeks but I’d appreciate a little bit of self restraint when we meet. Cheers *eyelashes*.

Ok, now to today’s post. I read this absolutely interesting post about a girl who had done absolutely all to get a man. I mean, she’d gone from church to church, attended events, started watching football, played manly games, all in a bid to pull a guy, all to no avail. Finally, she meets her dream man who was all the while, her next door neighbour! Her reaction when he proposed was totally hilarious. Read the story here: http://elizabethmartins.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/mr-anonymous/

Now, I have met a number of girls who do not miss any event. They always have this ‘this could be the day’ mindset and make sure they attend everything they get invited to, sometimes, even inviting themselves. They turn out looking dressed to murder. Short dress-check; sky high heels-check; hair-check; nails-check; bag-check. They are not hard to miss, according to my brother. You see them prancing around during the event, phone in hand, just in case ‘he bumps into her and they need to exchange pins’. They are and look desperate and desperate people make mistakes.

Desperate people are easy prey because desperation gives off a certain odour that is easily recognisable by a predator. I, honestly, do not see what the rush is about. It’s not about how quickly you marry but what you make of your marriage really. So instead of trying so hard to meet a guy why not spend time building yourself? You see 25 year olds who are not sure which direction their careers are heading worrying about when they’ll marry or why the guy they are dating has failed to propose. We forget: even after saying your vows, whatever problems you left unattended will still be there waiting for you when you get home. Only difference is they might have multiplied.

Now that’s not to say going out with the intention of meeting people is bad o no, but I think the emphasis, especially as a lady, should not be so much on looking like honey but being honey (if you get what I mean). On a random note though, how do people “meet people” in random short-term places like weddings, events, etc? I just don’t get. To the best of my memory’s limit, I have never met any guy that way. I would never give you my number, I would probably not even leave my seat to mingle so unless by Cupid’s doing, we are seated right beside each other, no chance! Anyways, different people have their area of gifting. Mine is certainly not mingling and mixing with new crowd. I just (usually) do not.

I think in the process of waiting, try and genuinely have a great time. Read books that build you up, read books on marriages, read books on people’s stories in marriage (the good, the bad and the ugly), read up on domestic violence and how some women AND men failed to see or accept the signs that they were about to fall into the hands of an abuser. Pray hard. Fast. Listen to your parents. They know more and love you enough to ensure you do not go astray. When you do meet someone (’cause you will…eventually), don’t go idolising him or her. Be nice, be good. Don’t make them pay for your ex’s crimes and wrongdoings but by all means, DO NOT act like you’ve just met Mr. or Miss The One so much that you forget to keep watching and praying.

If it works out and you do get married, keep watching and praying and being the best spouse you can be. If it doesn’t work out and he cheats, breaks up with you, starts dating your best friend, let it go and move on. Don’t act like your life is over, ’cause it really is not. God just helped you dodge a bullet. Think back on the relationship and do some self-analysis. Where you went wrong, learn and determine not to go that route again and for the things that went wrong due to no fault of yours, dust it off and let it go. Don’t slag off your ex. It gets so tempting to. Sometimes you will. But try and make a conscious effort not to. Remember, YOU chose him/her.

Paul urges us to be content in any circumstance we are in (Philippians 4:11). This cannot be done except by the power of God at work in our lives. In our natural, carnal state, we are simply not capable of having peace and serenity when things in our life seem so uncertain. However, through Christ, we are able to have peace, the type that defies understanding. Isaiah 49:23 says “They shall not be ashamed who wait for me.” I believe this means that although our patience on the Lord’s timing may seem foolish to those around us, and even to ourselves at times, God has assured us that we will not be put to shame by waiting on Him. What a relief! His Word also tells that those who “wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles.” (Isaiah 40:31).

Like my older married friends would say, enjoy your singleness, serve God as much possible, do stuff, go to the beach with friends, have as much alone time as you can get because a time is coming when all these might become luxury.

You that would usually have just yourself to worry about now have to add on a husband and child. Back in school, you eat when you want and when you are feeling lazy, it’s Indomie or you sleep like that, now you cannot, you have to get up and sort something out. You can’t expect your brothers and parents to sort stuff out for you anymore, you’ll be a full fledged adult *goosebumps*.

So inasmuch as marriage does have its really amazing sides which I TERRIBLY look forward to, I’ve made up my mind to absolutely enjoy my days as Miss Temiville and I strongly advise that all other single ladies AND gentlemen too join me in this resolve. And that my, beautiful people, is the end of my rant. I have much more to say, but I shall save it for another day.

Have a lovely week ahead (what’s left of it).

Temiville.xoxo

Been long you saw me :p

Hey my lovelies,

It is with a huge sense of shame (lol) that I type this post. I have no excuses for my hiatus. Actually, I do. Good ones too and yes, I shall bore you with the details thereof.

The past three months have been very interesting for me. I went through some shitty personal stuff in February that really got me low- I mean I was literally taking 10 minute breaks to weep in the toilet! I actually got caught by a colleague doing same on my birthday. Thankfully, I was able to explain it away. I’m sure she did not believe me sha, but oh well! February was the month of transition for me-from corper to worker, from mid 20s to late 20s, from being rigid in my thinking to being a tad more open-minded. It was all too much to take in and deal with sometimes but I thank God who was faithful through it all.

Remember when I was a bit unsure of what to do next? Well, I joined this law firm somewhere in Lagos and had the most amazing experience with them. It was not just about the work (which was great) but about the entirety of my experience there. It was a whole new world where people are friendly, laugh, joke around yet work like their lives depend on it.  It was very different from the MNC where I served where though good, by 6pm, most people would be off. Sleeping in the office for many at this place is commonplace. There is no opening time and there is no closing time. Emails are flying well into the early morning. No one ever says no to a client-the aim is to always find a way to ensure they go away happy.

I looked forward to going to work everyday! I learned so much from working there and the Friday when I said my goodbye after 3 months with them, it was with a really heavy heart. They were no longer like co-workers, they were like a mini extension of my family. All I can say is being there was a healing process for me as well as a period of growth. I’ve moved to another law firm now and it’s been good. I really thank God for the opportunities he has extended my way, for the amazing friends I have made, for the relationships I have built and the thorns He has taken away from my life.

One thing I have learned and I want to share is this: when going through ish in life, don’t try to downplay it or act like it doesn’t bother you. Instead, acknowledge your feeble frame and your frailty, look to God and grow. As you go through, realise your errors and ensure you do not make them again. Then dust your self off and keep walking with your head held up.

Random gist: I went to the cinema after a long while a week ago or so and I slept through the movie, lol. My friend actually enjoyed it so I know it was a good movie but I was so tired. I can’t even remember the title but it was about a girl who had an accident, suffered amnesia and forgot her boyfriend. I’ll make sure I see it again. I saw American Pie: the Reunion on Monday. All I can say is please do not see it with a prude or your mother. Typical American Pie. Totally hilarious up until the very last scene, ‘Great movie’! lol (You’ll understand that if and when you see it.)

Law School starts on the 2^nd day of June. I am very excited but in a little corner of my mind, I am a tad worried. In this new firm I’m in, I’m realising how much reading I have to do, there is so much to refresh my memory on. I left uni in 2009 and I have pretty much not touched core law since then so when I see Law school students on Chambers Attachment spewing forth sections of the Evidence Act, drafting Affidavits, Writs of summons etc, I get a bit edgy and say a silent prayer to God to help me and I know He will. I learned no foreign trained student has ever come out with a First class in the history of the Nigerian Law School. Hmm, nothing is impossible with God!

I wish you all a fab month of May and I promise not to be doing monthly posts anymore. I leave you with this Word from Revd. Funke Felix Adejumo when she ministered at Daystar: if your husband’s life does not improve upon marrying you, you are a witch! Hehehe.

Have a beautiful Wednesday.

Enjoy some of my pictures which give a mini glimpse into my life in the last couple of months. Finally, can someone please offer guidance and tips on what to take along to Law School, what things are a must, what will be confiscated, what documents, generally the essentials, what kind of clothes etc. Thanks in advance.

My cocktail when I fell ill last month.

Olumo rock with 9 girl friends in April

At work in April. Yes Im still a Coke Addict: Vintage top by Uchy. Link to her webstore: http://uchybyuchvintage.blogspot.com/. Free delivery anywhere in Lagos!!! Shoes by Inkechi (If you are tall like me and find it sometimes difficult to get your shoe size, give her a call. She’s got it all. Amazing, fab party, work shoes!!! 08100801303)

Caught some part of the bouquet at a wedding in April :p

D and V’s wedding at Civic Centre in April. Amazing! That’s where I caught part of the bouquet btw. The comedian was bare jokes.

Friend from ISI’s engagement in Ibadan in April

Off for an event in April

That’s all folks!

Temiville..xoxo

It’s been a year!

It’s been a year!

So yeah, March 3^rd 2012 made it a year since I moved back to Nigeria after being away for 5 years without even visiting once. I remember my absolute trepidation and how I had to constantly remind myself why exactly I had to go home. I am glad I took that step. I really could not imagine living anywhere else, to be honest.

Nigeria has been quite the experience, I’ve had my good and lovely times and I’ve also had my days of weeping in the toilet, yup that’s right! I have made great decisions along the way and with that same great decision making mind, I have taken some terrible steps. But through it all, I am still left with a strong sense of being in the right place. I thank God for seeing me through everything.

I am so glad to be home and I know that the best is yet to come!

***Read about my moving to Nigeria here.***

Totally unrelated photo...Well let's call it 'The beauties of Nigeria'

Have a lovely weekend people!!!

Temiville.xoxo

I had a good weekend

Hey guys,

How are you doing? Hope your week has started off good. Mine has. I am totally loving work. Absolutely. Thank God. so yes, I had a really good weekend and I I’ll just give you a summary of how each day went. But before I do this, I wanna say thank you to all of you guys for ensuring I had a lovely birthday. Thank you and God bless you richly!!! xoxo

Friday

At about 5pm or so, my colleague randomly informed me of a group that was meeting later that evening somewhere in VI and invited me to join them. I was reluctant at first and then he went into details of how they are involved with Charity work and I bought what he was selling. Ever heard of ‘This is How We Do’ or ‘Soup Kitchen’ or ‘Bake for Change’? Yea, they are the people behind these initiatives.

I was not really up for going out that evening as I was pretty inappropriately dressed (Fridays are supposed to be dress down days but yours truly went to work in my full legal regalia of white and black). By the time the day was over, I had a small stain on my sleeves and I just wanted to get out of the white shirt but boy, I’m really glad I did. Aside of the really great reason behind us meeting (Charity work), it was also good seeing other like-minded young people who took out time on a Friday evening to talk about helping others. It was really good indeed! I’m really looking forward to getting more involved and getting more people involved as well.

Saturday

I was home chilling, cooking, taking mom to the tailor’s and just generally having a very relaxed day.

Sunday

I went to my parents’ church, which turned out better than I thought (I dread going there and I shall give you gist about this later). I went home, changed and met up with a friend. Later in the afternoon, I was on my way to Astroturf to watch my Law firm do great damage to and destroy the morale of their opponent in a 3-1 victory. It was actually 4-1 but a goal was disqualified because in a 5 man team game, headers are not allowed :S.

As soon as our game was over, I drove off to Eko Hotel to see a play called ‘Love is’. I totally enjoyed it! Nikki Laoye, Zizi Cardow, Yinka Davies and Timi Dakolo were all part of the cast. It was a dance drama which was so moving. Basically, it was a journey through people in the search of the meaning of love. After much wondering, pondering, toiling, searching, the conclusion was found in 1 Corinthians 13 and the play ended with these words…God is love; Love is God. I especially loved the fact that it was not your typically Christiany play yet, it came to such a conclusion in the most profound manner.

Yup, I had a good weekend!

That’s all folks (for now)

Temiville.xoxo