Akwaaba people!!!
Here is a picture of me in Ghana…
The bride had rented out the accommodation. Check out its website:
http://calabashgreen.com/
They were so courteous and gave us an excellent service. I look forward to going back so much.
***
The other day, someone put this up as their BB status: Whether na 1 million, whether na 1 billion baby you got me. I laughed when I saw it and thought to share. A few days after, I started thinking about it. So the actual songwriter said ‘1 naira/1 million’ but my people have decided to remix it to suit their own purposes. Let’s imagine 1 naira means being broke. The point is that they do not wish to be with a broke person.
I’m a firm believer in the following principles:
-money is not everything
-love of money is the root of all evil
-love conquers all
-my love for you is irrespective of your financial status
But then, my friends and I were having a tete a tete and then this question was posed:
-if someone with no degree, no job, no enterprise walks up to you and asks you out, will you look beyond his financial state and date or even end up marrying him?
There was a lot of ‘God forbid’ ‘how now?’ ‘how will we even meet?’. Even the noblest response was something along these lines, ‘well, I’m not particular about what he has now but I’m certainly concerned about his earning power prospects or lack thereof so maybe not’. I might need to add that these girls are all personally comfortable and not leeches looking to suck a man dry so there’s no issue of gold digging going on. It’s more like gold keeping/maintaining.
Can you date someone with no visible prospects whatsoever ‘for love’?
PS: This also relates to guys.
Muse with me!
Temiville.xoxo
Oct 19, 2011 @ 17:24:34
First of all, the issue of love in this case is moot. I don’t see how I can fall in love with a guy knowing he has no degree & job.
to answer the question anyway,
I don’t think I can date him, at least not serious dating. the best I can do is encourage him to do something about his ‘lack of prospects’.
Oct 19, 2011 @ 17:42:13
Once again, I say Ghana is a place I wanna go to every weekend… lol..
To your question, I can’t. Have also always been of the opinion that if you love him/her even without a degree and yada yada, love is what matters. But have come to realize that it isn’t that easy… Like Glosillz said, best is to encourage the person to do something about his/her lack of prospects.
Oct 19, 2011 @ 20:29:42
At least, I would want to know for sure that he won’t be sitting at home, satisfied with his life as it is, while I go about my job in a bid to make ends meet. If he’s not educated, has no job and I do, I need to know that he has set up a plan to make something of himself for himself, and is working earnestly at it, otherwise, what future does one have with a partner with no means and no vision toward a better future? Make I go work, as u sidon for window side, dey spit Sapele water from ur mouth corner, wrap wrappa like fulltime house wife? No way, Jose!!!
Oct 19, 2011 @ 21:21:52
The fact that he doesn’t have a degree doesn’t necessarily mean he’s illiterate neither does it mean he will be a leech. There’s a lot to be said about a man’s potential, more so a man that is resilient despite his shortcomings.
How many of the wealthiest Nigerians had degrees b4 they earned their first few millions. Park Nigerians aside, a good number of the world’s wealthiest people were drop outs or academic failures – Steve Jobs (co founder of apple) dropped out, Tony Blair, barely graduated with a third class degree, Richard Branson also dropped out and I think so did Bill Gates (from Harvard) needless to say what’s more important is what he does with himself despite a degree and a job – if a woman can’t look past what a man has and see his potential to become some1 then she doesn’t deserve him anyways, she’ll only frustrate and draw him back.
Oct 19, 2011 @ 21:57:21
Never write off a man. MsLuffa mentioned some names but in recent times I think we can point to Ted. As Christians who speak so much about hearing from God it is very laughable how we take things into our hands. Let me not speak much.
Oct 19, 2011 @ 22:55:57
The weirdest thing, this very song was playing in my mind just before i log on to your blog. Well it has enforced my need to comment. I love your blog I check it out daily for updates. After reading ‘wow’ I felt guilty and promised,in my mind,to comment next time.
Being broke and without prospects, I think are two different things. If a guy does not have dreams, have a plan to achieve anything then he has no plans to live out his purpose. In my opinion every man has purpose/prospects but does he have plans to actualize them? If not then he is a no go. Everyone was created with purpose/prospects if you don’t plan to live ‘em out you don’t plan to dominate and multiply (God’s mandate to us).
So to answer your question no i cannot date a guy without prospects. But a broke guy with prospects most def.
Oct 19, 2011 @ 23:05:13
*typo* I meant to type ‘just before I logged on to your blog’
Oct 29, 2011 @ 01:55:04
I am a guy and I think it’s dangerous for any lady to go out with a guy who has no plan for his life or thinks there is no future for him. No lady should dare that, talkless of marriage. Even if a guy is “loaded” but doesn’t know what he wants, don’t give him a chance.
But ignoring a guy simply because he has no degree or job … eemm … think again. Talk to God. Think again. Talk to God.
Forget Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Tony Blair. At least those ones grew up in countries with constant electricity and some forms of social welfare. Let’s come home.
I know (not personally) a guy here in Nigeria who didn’t get past Primary 3 (seriously) and does not cheat ( I can almost vouch for him) but has been able to build a multi-billion Naira conglomerate and marry the woman of his dreams at roughly 20 – when he didn’t have much – despite STRONG opposition from her family. And no! her family did not make him rich. And yes! He is a good christian.
Today, he speaks to educated people on success ( with his Igbo accent … lol … and imperfect English). He is Cosmas Maduka of the Coscharis Group.
I think it has to do with whom he is, his plans, heart, and the will of God.
Oct 20, 2011 @ 01:50:15
Every road is leading me to Ghana, e tire me. As for your question, my answer is KJRRJ, ko jo rara joo! E no even resemble at all.
Oct 20, 2011 @ 04:27:16
Ghana, Ghana, Ghana noni…….. Yes, let’s go to Ghana on a “low key” level.
Ok, seriously. It’s easy and i mean much easier for an average African man to date a lady with no degree or an enterprise and even without a prospect; a man should fend for his household. But for ladies, it would be a bit difficult, save the gold digging or keeping issue, it’s in our nature.
As for me, I can’t marry an illiterate lady because of the resultant effects it could have on our children’s sense of reasoning as they grow up but to carter to her can’t be a problem.
Oct 20, 2011 @ 06:53:21
nice picture
Oct 20, 2011 @ 07:10:04
Thanks dollchic. PLEASE PLEASE update your blog
. I check everyday. I’m off to check now sef.xoxo
Oct 20, 2011 @ 11:31:12
@MsLuffa, they dropped out of schl not to be idle, but they continued learning and developing demslves. Need i tell you, Steve Job already started his coy b4 he met n marid his wife, which means the lady marid a ready made n established man n not just a hopeful tramp.
!
Talk is cheap, a lazy ass dude says he has a dream, even wen he never tries to lay his hand on anytin, let no one talk wot is not. Love is never enuf, let d dude be responsible in all ramifications joooo and not a dependent gold miner, in case digger is offensive
Oct 20, 2011 @ 18:28:20
Hmm, loving Ųя blog Temi, α̲̅πϑ today’s my 1st day here. I’ve got two guys after me right now, the first has only a diploma, is a way junior partner in a car dealership, α̲̅πϑ hopes to travel to Europe to make his “millions”. The 2nd is a polytechnic lecturer who has a Master’s degree, nice looks, but not worldly, with a terrible accent. I have no idea how I’m gonna introduce either to my pple. And I’m getting to like the lecturer. And yes, both are just getting by! Sometimes, I wonder if I’m being shortsighted
Oct 21, 2011 @ 01:35:23
God knows one of the things that drive me in this life is PASSION…
I am incredibly passionate as in I have love for PASSION… That goes with everything else. I like it when people are passionate and AMBITIOUS…It tickles my bud…
My point is : they are educated, rich, well made of men out there that God knows I will not say YES to.. Why: I do not define people by physical or social status.. the MINDSET is key…. IF Ur MINDSET IS NOT THERE mehn am sorry I can’t .. (Am a very deep person and it is really hard for me to just go for physical status mehn).
So he is a dude that has no education, no job no enterprise… But does he have HEAD.. can he think outside the box.. is he hardworking n can get dirty with his hands? is he willing to learn, is HE PASSIONATE, is he AMBITIOUS, is he CONFIDENT, is he humble, does he have dreams and plans in place he is working towards, is he a LEADER, is he well mannered, is he respectful, does he have integrity, can he rebuke and be rebuked? is he articulate, is he POSITIVE, does her persever, is he God oriented, God centered and God focused.. is he in love with my KING…
mehn the lists are endless… if he has these and more and intelligent too.. forget unemployment, finances etc. it will work out BECAUSE HE IS DETERMINED not to be defined by the circumstances around HIM. YES, I will give it a CHANCE, besides i see it as an opportunity to learn from his way of life and he will learn from mine and by his grace we will be a testimony~(U never what u can or might learn from other people way of living).
NOTE: I will only be willing to help and sacrifice anything if he HAS A PURPOSE and he knows it.. (including if u are educated/self made).
I am not about life is hard or I cant struggle with any man.. who says am struggling with any man… FACT: nothing comes easy in life, everything that comes easy does not last long. So, yes I see everything as a challenge to grow in many ways.. That just me.. I like seeing things in an angle that will work for me.. I see it as going on a journey of discovery (which most of us have the opportunity to go through once in a while).
I cant write anybody off… BUT MINDSET is important 2 me. Cos the state of the mind says alot about a person….
pardon the essay..
xxxx
http://lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.com/
Oct 21, 2011 @ 01:41:48
lol pardon the typos.. i meant can he persevere.. not does ‘her persevere’ lol..
Oct 21, 2011 @ 19:53:36
If a guy has no degree, no job, no enterprise and is not even making any effort to better himself, he is not a serious fellow then. He shouldn’t even be thinking of any relationship let alone marriage. I’m not saying that a guy has to be a millionaire but He should be hardworking, have a vision and be finanically stable before he starts talking bout marriage.
Oct 21, 2011 @ 22:03:29
Like most people have said, he doesn’t have to be a millionaire. He should just have a good, responsible and hardworking head on his shoulders. If on the other hand, he is lazy and is not interested in doing anything to better his life, then, there cannot be anything between us.
naijabankgirl.blogspot.com
Feb 03, 2012 @ 19:59:09
Honest to God….No….even when I pray that God’s will be done and I absolutely yield my will to him, a part of me still want that tall, God loving, fun loving, hard working and income generating man and in the course of my prayer, I have to consciously call myself to order when my mind wanders to the kind of man i want even while petitioning God for his choice.
But truth be told, no fine, decent, hard working, career oriented and Godly gal wants a religious, God fearing broke ass guy. I sure dont except if I am COMPLETELY sure that such is GOD’s will and GOD will have to confirm that several times.
I enjoy my single state, I enjoy my company, I enjoy my early morning latte and my late night horlicks, I enjoy my retail and window shopping therapy, I enjoy my long night strolls alone while musing on my tots and talking to God….and until he brings the guy who can compliment all that and pay for my brazillian weave, then I would keep enjoying my company and my relationship with Christ.
Jun 06, 2012 @ 09:09:11
Well said
Jun 02, 2012 @ 15:00:48
A boyfriend of mine gave me an advice once, he said ‘ baby, pls neva date a guy tht doesn’t hv money’ so I ve taken it to heart and many years later, I’ve seen the reason why. It will eventually break up a marriage
Jun 02, 2012 @ 22:01:52
hehe. God helep us