Hi people!
It’s been too long. I’ve been very busy with work and I haven’t had internet connection at home for a while now. These are no excuses though-mere explanations of why I have been away for this long. God has remained faithful even when I have not been so great. I thank Him for His mercies. Now to today’s post…
Robert Greene warns that ‘You can die from someone else’s misery emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead’.
There is a girl whose story I was told a few weeks ago. Her name is Nkolika. Nkolika is a lovely girl and has so much cheer to spread around her. But she is what some would label a ‘disaster-magnet’.
In all three major relationships she has passed through, she has been Miss Holy Spirit –comforter, counselor, guide, help in times of need; she has been Miss Saviour- attempting to save a drunk from his addiction (PS: It never happened); and Miss Jireh- giving money that she herself sometimes had to borrow.
She just has a way of drawing people in need to herself. She always seems on a mission to deliver a lost soul. Three months ago, Nkolika announced to her friends that she has met ‘The One’. ‘The one that what?’ people wondered. The one to deliver or the one that you will love and will love you in return without wrecking you or your bank account? Yet again, Nkolika met and has now fallen in love with someone most people would be displeased with- I am told he has neither the drive nor the zeal to work hard and will happily sit at home complaining that there are no jobs in Lagos as he sips on his beer. She loves him and believes it’s not his fault he is jobless and that God will arise and meet the need of employment in his life sooner than later. We all agree with her-it really is not his fault that he has no job but it looks pretty bad when you sit home all day and claim that there is no point distributing your CV either by hand or through the internet as all the employers in Lagos already have their candidates and are merely fooling everyone with vacancy ads.
What happens when you just seem to be a so called ’bum magnet’?
Now, I have met some people with very high standards in their relationships- not just in romantic ones but with friends and even down to the Church they attend. They, like Robert Greene, believe happiness births happiness; money begat money; misery leads to woe.
So what do you guys think? Do you believe in scrutinizing the people you relate with to be sure to sieve out the ‘unhappy and the unlucky’? Are you the type to watch the company you keep not just in terms of avoiding evil company that corrupts good manners but also to avoid unhappy, grumpy, sullen, perpetually sad people that will always dampen your mood? Do you think Nkolika needs help or is just her nature and everyone should let her be? Would Jesus not want us to associate with all especially those who are in distress?
Share your thoughts!
Temiville.xoxo
Oct 10, 2011 @ 12:40:39
Seriously?!……hmn..
she needs help for all i can imagine! the pple around you would always create ur environment which would always sink into you and that’s what you will birth as ur aura, your friend needs to understand that. Her “the one” is just a her kind of pple, dont blame her.
Scrutinizing out of pride is not right, but out of self security is just smart, whether you want it or not, some pple would still come around you asking for help and if it’s within your powers, pls do.
Oct 11, 2011 @ 09:59:29
I agree! As much as you can, help people around you. I guess you have to be careful not to sink in with the person you are rendering help to. If you can stand strong ad help raise them up, all is good. But not when it will end up making both you and the helped party crash.
Thanks for taking time to visit and commwent! Much love.xoxo
Oct 11, 2011 @ 15:30:49
You are right, Temiville. It is always good to check how well versed you are in something you want to impact on somebody before offering any help at all. Many destinies have been destroyed to this ignorance. We can not always play the heroes every time when the best would have been to learn more of the causes of the problem before proffering solutions.
Oct 10, 2011 @ 12:42:31
Nkolika needs help………..like seriously.
Yes, God loves a cheerful giver and all that but i still think its not that kinda giving. I choose my friends, carefully too cos having an unhappy friend will make me unhappy
http://lucianochinwe.blogspot.com/
Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:34:52
True say. I think she needs help. Some people dont get it that its possible to be happy in a 50/50 relationship. They just have be the Jesus lol.
Thanks for dropping by. I hope you had a lovely birthday on Tuesday!!! God bless you loads.xoxo
Oct 10, 2011 @ 13:45:02
One has just got to be very careful. In as much as it is good to be with the right person with the compatible mood at a time, it could also at times mean one is refusing other people the emotion help they really need in having our company.
In taking a good step towards this, one could group people into these categories:
1. Acquittance-ship; When those that are in moods different from ours are in this group, do what you can to help, knowing that you would always have the shortest of time to spend with them.
2. Life affecting friendship; Before you take any step with the kind in this category, analyse the effect their personalities have on your life. Knowing how bad or good their behaviour would stimulate your destiny will really help you in making an informed decision on what to do with them
Oct 11, 2011 @ 10:07:09
I like your analysis. It is veryimportant to scrutinize those whose association with you can adversely affect you. As much as you want to be a liht to the world you have to be sure you have enugh light in you not to be affected negatively.
God help us all.
Thanks for this Joseph!
x
Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:47:44
I agree with Joseph’s analysis too. It’s very easy to be superficial in relationships if you pay a lot of attention to how “unlucky” people are. Most people go through rough phases where they appear unlucky. Even Job appeared cursed when God was testing him. Fortunately his friends didn’t desert him…
Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:29:48
Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:21:02
That girl needs help… the law of states that you become like those you associate with. If you want to live a happy and healthy life… associate with Happy and Healthy… it rubs off
Help those unhappy and unlucky as much as you can but dont get sucked into their unhappy and unlucky state
Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:32:39
Nutty J! For some reason I’m unable to comment on Blogspot using this particular server (u know what i mean). How are you? Pleas remember no matter what you face, God is in control. He will sort you out! A better door will open unto you.
Loads of love…
Thanks for your comment! I agree. Balance is key. We need to hold out our hand to help but not stretch so far that we end up falling with the one we planned to help.
xoxo
Oct 16, 2011 @ 13:05:02
In as much as I am the kinda person you would call a “go to guy” I think Nkolika seriously needs help.
My best friend (at the university) and I had – and still have – this motto: open rebuke is better than secret help. We do this because we believe friends ought to be able to look each other in the eye and tell one another the truth, no matter how bitter. This is better than helping a sinking friend who doesn’t want to help him/herself.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 20:52:00
I really think Nkolika needs a time-out to come to terms with what her purpose is on this earth……. It isn’t a bad thing to want to help people, however you can’t help them to your own detriment!!! You’ve gotta pick and choose. Yes, you should help and encourage people to the best of your ability but a sinking boat is a sinking boat and if it’s heavier than you…….. need I say more?
You can only help someone who is willing to help him/herself…… drop dead weight!!!