Surprise!!!

40 Comments

Hey my lovelies!

Long long time. I’m sure you are all thoroughly fed up of my apologies after each long hiatus. Please vex not. This time around, I have a very good excuse: I got married!!! Whoop whoop!!! lol!

Yes, on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning in the wonderful month of April at about 9:45 am, yours truly became a Mrs. After all my blogging on relationship, dating, marriage, I finally became a wife and have to start practising all my epistles. Hehe.

I must confess, it has been interesting. I’ve been married for only 16 days so I’m not exactly an authority on the marriage topic but I thank God for how far He has seen us through and I am very hopeful of a great and beautiful tomorrow all by His grace.

I intend to start a series. In fact I have so many many beautiful plans for this blog. I intend to write about my relationship (which I never do) but in the form of a story. I intend to give practical tips to brides to be on planning a wedding. I intend to start a prayer series for newbies in marriage etc. I intend to publish some of my stories that are gathering dust in the folder. So many things on my mind. But for now, I just want to do a little dance.

Here is our picture as we were being prayed for.

Image

 

Thank God for all His mercies. I am happy to be back blogging though I doubt I can manage more than 2 posts per week. I’ll try to stay consistent henceforth.

Thank you for all your beautiful messages to those that knew.

Have a wonderful week ahead and let’s remember to say a word of prayer for our Nation.

 

Loads of love,

Temiville.xoxo

 

For the Sake of Peace (Final)

14 Comments

happy-black-couple

 

I have been listening to sermons on restoration. If all these happened during the courtship, I’d have left the relationship, but I am married now. So from all the counsel I have received, I now know God will have to turn my mess around. Marrying Dipo might not have been His perfect will. It might have been His permissive will but I am married and because God hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16), I will do what I can to invite Him into my home to fix my mess. It has been 8 months of praying, fasting and more praying. God has been indeed merciful to me and to my home. What I have been through, I do not wish on even my most hated enemy. But the lessons I have garnered over the period, I share for free.

I joined the prayer department Nkechi’s church and constantly prayed. There, I learned that although I was praying all along, I was harbouring so much bitterness in my heart and he who approaches the throne of grace must do so with clean hands AND a clean heart. I had clean hands-I was not cheating or hurting anyone in any way. However, my heart was blackened with bitterness, anger and all manners of ill feelings towards Dipo, his friends and the girl in his life.

The first step I took was to forgive. You see, forgiveness, I discovered goes past merely saying to yourself that you have forgiven someone. You need to accept how deeply you were/are hurting. You need to forgive the person despite the hurts and also think good thoughts towards them, if possible, make excuses for the person and let it go! Now, being human, this does not come to us naturally. Hence the need for the intervention of the Holy Spirit. After weeks of wailing, crying, deep depression, I forgave all I felt hurt by. I let them all go. Only then did I begin to experience true healing and peace.

What made it more painful was that even as I was going through this ‘forgiveness phase’, Dipo was not changing. He still never spoke to me with love. He still snapped at me. He still went away for days without telling me where he was off to. But I made a conscious decision to forgive him. Forgiveness also entailed letting go of a wrong done before it happens. The next step I took was to stop checking up on him. This means that I stopped tracking his car and checking his phones or iPad whenever he stepped into the bathroom. What this helped with is to ensure my feelings of pain and sadness were not daily reignited. I was not living in denial. But I certainly did not need a daily reminder of what is wrong with my life and my marriage. By refraining from so doing, I was able to slowly rebuild joy into my life. I see him and I don’t think of where he was the night before. I think of anything I want- I think he was with friends, with family, at work, anything. My mind is free to roam and dwell on good possibilities.

The third step was to pray for my husband. Now this seems wrongly placed since all along I had been praying. It is true that I had been praying but my prayers focused on asking God to change him and make my marriage better, sweeter, successful. Now, I pick out an area of his life daily and speak words that build into those areas: his health, his career path, his difficult boss, his parents, his finances, his travels. I would pray constantly that God sees him through and make him successful in all of his endeavours. Trust me, this is the pinnacle of forgiveness-when you can begin to pray for someone who has hurt you. I prayed for him hard enough that even I knew that I had prayed.

Finally, I spoke words of confession into my marriage: my marriage will not break; I shall be called wonderful by my husband; I shall be fruitful; together, my husband and I shall build a home to show forth God’s glory. I just kept speaking those words constantly. The change eventually came. It was not instant but it came.

Dipo became more attentive. He’d invite his friends over on Saturdays for football and general banter and so, I would make them finger foods and cocktails. They never missed a Saturday. I began to invite their wives too who would assist with serving and cleaning up and we all would happily discuss issues from politics, career, music, all sorts. The first few Saturdays, after they had all left, Dipo would pick his car keys and drive out or just find something to do that does not involve me. One Saturday, after the last couple left, Dipo brough out the hoover and helped to clean up the living room. We didn’t say much but he was gentle and helped me pack all the stuff away. I went to bed right after.

Two months passed and things became better. I still was not in the dream marriage but I was praying and working towards it, trusting God for His daily intervention in my affairs. I was also encouraged not to be moved by the present circumstances but focused on what the future holds and trust in God.

The word of God never lies. The change came. He woke me up in the middle of one night, at about 2 am. He knelt before me and begged me with tears in his eyes. He apologised for all he had done to hurt me. He apologised for all he had done to hurt our marriage. He went on and on. I was shell shocked. Was this Dipo? Slightly pushing my ‘luck’, I asked him, ‘what exactly happened?’, ‘where did I go wrong?’. He was quiet for a while. Then told me that I had done nothing wrong and he had no idea why exactly he went on the mission to break our home. I needed to hear my faults so as to know how to avoid them in the future. Apparently, he did not know exactly it was, but he gradually grew bitter towards me. We wept together and vowed to make things better. That night, we did not go back to bed till 5 am and we had to get back up at 6 am for work!

We started attending church together and signed up for a two week counselling class with our pastor where we learned much more about how to make our marriage better. 7 weeks ago, we took a week long holiday to Kenya and just yesterday, the doctor confirmed that we conceived on our first night in Nairobi. I’m grateful. I’m happy. I get sad from time to time when I think of Dipo on top of another woman but I’m quick to let it go and concentrate on what lies ahead. It is not easy but God has been helpful.

I must share some basic lessons from my experience.

1. Pray before you decide to get married to any one and pray, pray and pray.

2. When sure, pray even more.

3. When married, don’t wait for there to be a problem before you keep praying.

4. Find time to talk to older married people. It was when our problems began and I shared them that I realize that people have been through it and worse. Some of those who keep smiling have been through the most difficult things.

5. As a woman, you know when your man is slipping away. Find a way to spark things up!!! You won’t get thatv from your Bible though. Google it if you’re too shy to ask someone. Go to a hotel for the weekend. Don’t wait to travel abroad. That decent and nice hotel near your house will do (you can even pay for it!!!) It’s not just by cooking. You need to do much more to keep things fresh.

6. Speak up. Address issues when they arise.

7. I’m not contradicting ‘6’ but please keep quiet. Learn when to let things go. Not everything needs to be discussed, at least not with not your man. Talk to God, talk to your girlfriends, talk to your sister. Girls understand the need to bond better.

8. Forgiveness is key. Learn to forgive through the grace of God.

I wish you all the best in your marriages. God bless you!

 

Mrs. Happy.xoxo

 

All I can say is THANK YOU JESUS!!!

63 Comments

privacy_1875677c

 

Dear Lord,

I’m acknowledging You for who You have been in my life. You have shown Yourself strong and mighty in my life. You have given me my heart’s desire and you have answered my prayers.

I started Law School in 2012 determined yet scared because of the stories I had been swamped with, stories of brilliant people failing the exams and retaking it 4 times. I was told that because I was not familiar with the system, I should aim not to excel but to merely pass. But I dared to dream because You oh Lord God reminded me that Your thoughts towards me are thoughts of good and not of evil to give me my hopes and dreams and bring me to an expected end. You said to me, ‘Temiloluwa, fear not. Only believe’.

Lord, I remember all that period in Bar 1, how you helped me. Thank You Jesus. Lord You saw me through and brought the Adeniyis into my life. Father, please bless them immensely for my sake. They are simply AMAZING! I was a part of the family and together myself and all my newly discovered sisters worked hard and prayed hard everyday and every night. God, I thank You because none of us was found wanting.

I remember the tears when I just wasn’t getting the whole Capital Markets system. I remember my frustration when I was just not calculating the scale of fees properly. At first, mortgages, as a topic, was a blur. God, I did not know how I would draft a statement of claim, statement of defence, affidavit and written address in such a short period. I certainly had no clue that to perfect charges in Corporate law was not as simple as Governor’s consent, stamping and registration. Getting my sections right for Criminal Procedure Code, Criminal Procedure Act and Administration of Criminal Justice Law was sometimes a challenge. Memorising the procedure for Matrimonial Causes drove me to chant in my dreams.

But on the day of each exam, I AM THAT IS I AM came through. You gave me wisdom and knowledge and understanding and for these, I praise You Lord.

As my scripts were being collated, not one got missing. My scores were not wrongly calculated. I did not write a wrong number on my script. Father, so many many things could have gone wrong. But for You oh God!

At 2:30 am on the 1st of November, I was awoken by Adanna. ‘Temi, results are out’ was the message all over my BB. With anxiety, I went to the Nigerian Law School website and clicked on the Results tab, selected 2013 Bar Finals Result. I typed my Examination number and then it said ‘Loading Result’. My heart was pounding. My fingers were shaking. I broke out in a cold sweat. 4 seconds felt like 4 hours. But when I saw the grade, Jesus, You had me rolling on my floor in joy. THANK YOU JESUS! I cannot stop praising You dear God.

That same day Lord, as if the blessing was not enough, You gave me a job in the best law firm in Nigeria! Jesus, when You do Your thing, we earthlings just marvel. Thank You God!

I am thankful Lord. I do not like putting myself out there. But because I mentioned Your name on this blog, asking You to help me with Law School and most recently, with a job, I cannot but let the world know that we serve a prayer answering God who has done what I asked of Him. I honestly could not have asked for better. I am where every degree I have is recognized and not made to seem irrelevant. I am where my NYSC of 2011 is recognized. God, You really do order people’s steps. All I can say is THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Thank You for amazing people around me, amazing friends and my amazing family. Thank You Jesus! I trust You for grace to excel at work and for wisdom to carry myself with grace and honour and diligence.

May my life continually show forth your praise and most importantly, may I make Heaven and take many many people along with me. Amen.

Your daughter,

Temiloluwa.

For the sake of ‘Peace’- Parts 2 and 3

19 Comments

Hi guys,

Howdy? Hope you’re all well. Job hunting is going good and I’m really excited that something great is around the corner in Jesus’ name! Thank you for all your kind words. God bless you all.x

Here are Parts 2  and 3 of For the sake of Peace. I have had people call my phone asking me to publish the second part. It took a while because I thought it best to publish two parts at once to compensate for the delay. I honestly hope we learn a thing or two from this. It is lengthier than the first one as much of the story unfolds here.

My good friend put this on her status a few days ago, ‘Better to be single and happy than married and miserable’. Ladies (and gentlemen), please keep that in mind whenever you feel a tinge of envy or pain that all your friends are getting married or engaged and you are all alone. Marriage is too important to be messed with or entered into without caution. Get excited, not for that one day, but for the future ahead, the real deal, the Marriage.

Another good friend, Ufoma (CEO, Rubies n Emerald, an event planning company) told me a great wedding can take up to a year planning. That is a 6-10 hour event. How much more should we take in planning a marriage, which we pray will last forever. Go figure!

Please read and learn.

Love lots,

Temiville.xoxo

Marrying you, Dipo was a mistake I knowingly made. It’s like a young girl letting that boy run his hands down her blouse. As his fingers descend, she knows it’s wrong, she knows she should stop him but she lets him go on anyway; not because of any pleasure she feels but because she just wants to go ahead. Now I know it to be self destruct. Oladipo Richard Adeyele, marrying you was an exercise in self destruction.

married

Surprisingly, the first 6 months as Mrs. Oladipo R. Adeyele were blissful. I changed my display name to that and our perfect wedding photo was constantly my DP. I felt bliss. Thinking back now, I felt that way because I had no expectations whatsoever. Wrong! I had expectations alright. I expected you to start cheating within the first month. Darn, I even knew one of your exes who had the nerve to show up at our wedding in the tightest, boob baring bandage dress I have ever seen, grinding with one of the groomsmen whilst you, my husband looked on, mesmerized then jealous by her show of shame.

Dipo, you surprised me. You see, dear readers, Dipo was not a great or loving man but he let me be. He would eat whatever I served and say a polite thanks. He would text me ‘I’m running late’ if he would be home after 9pm. He would compliment my homemaking efforts before his friends and family. He would gobble down my ogbono experiment which recipe I got from the Facebook page- So you think you can cook. The sex with him was mechanical, efficient, machine like, ritualistic- kiss, fondle, sex – in that order- nothing like I’d hoped but it was okay and at least, got me pregnant in the 10th month of our marriage.

images blog

My dream had come true! Finally, he would pet me, cuddle me or at least cuddle my bump. I had finally gotten the glue to bind us in love. I was already 3 months pregnant before noticing. I was one of those medical mysteries because I still saw my period during the first 2 months of my pregnancy so though I had gained a bit of weight, I had attributed it to my many trips to Ice-cream Factory. I was slower and easily tired,  but I zeroed my mind that it could never be down to pregnancy. It was my mother in law who practically forced me to get tested. I called Dipo so excitedly as I left the clinic. Oladipo, you were so excited! You screamed. I’d never been the source of so much joy from you and I was so proud of myself. I grinned from ear to ear like a Chesire cat as I drove back to work.

One day, at 4 months gone, you snapped at me as I got ready to go to your office dinner, ‘can you not find something else to wear?! Your folds are all over the place, Sade in my office is 7 months pregnant and rolls are not hanging everywhere, do something about it woman, I don’t do obesity!’  I didn’t know that tears had started rolling down until I tasted the saltiness. Everyone else had said I was looking fit and great in pregnancy. They said I glowed. But I only believed your words. As I grew bigger, I’d get changed in the bathroom before coming out. I’d wear Body Magic. I didn’t want you to see the ‘rolls and folds’.

Nkechi, my friend was also pregnant and spoke of still having sex with her husband and still being just as desirable to him. She made me blush at her tales of their escapades in and out of bed. Dipo, you and I had stopped engaging in anything remotely related to lovemaking at 4 and a half months into my pregnancy. I felt ugly, disgusting, fat. And so I started using slimming products. I looked for the most drastic in result I could find. I read the instructions carefully and there it was- a healthy, herbal, natural slimming aid. It must be safe, I thought to myself. Within the first 2 weeks, I lost weight enough for you, Dipo, to notice and comment on. I was giddy with joy. Yay! I’d be just like Victoria Beckham and look so slim immediately after child birth. I decided to increase the dosage and it worked. The folds reduced, my thighs had that gap between them, my neck had a hollow. I only had vegetables, fruit and the shake that came with the slimming package. After a month of using, in my 6th month, we had sex, at your instance. I was looking great. That night, I gained your attention. That night, I lost our son.

sad-black-man

You wept on the hospital floor. I was numb. The doctor, an elderly family friend, was merciless. I thought it was unprofessional to outrightly blame a woman for her own miscarriage. The doctor threw professionalism to the wind and blamed me for not eating right. My weight was not commensurate with how far along I was given my last statistics when I saw her. I weighed less than I did 3 months before and only had a bump and not as much body to show for my pregnancy. I dared not confess that I was also on drugs to stay slim. She probably would have slapped me there and then. Rightly too. I wanted to kick myself.

On our drive home, you were quiet. I tried to play the victim and would periodically hold on to my belly as though in pain just to get you to touch me and comfort me. Darn! I was the one who had lost her child. But you were having none of it and all you said was, ‘if you need to see the doctor, lemme turn back’. I knew I had lost the battle.

3 months after the miscarriage, on the exact day our son would have turned one week old, I saw the first sign of your infidelity. You received a call, smiled when you saw who was calling and walked out to receive it. You were on the phone for 45 minutes, laughing intermittently.  I knew I was in trouble.

You came back to the house, went straight to our room, had a second bath and got dressed in your best casual native attire, your newest sandals and perfume, took the keys to the new car and mumbled, ‘I’m going out and don’t keep the keys in the lock ’cause I’ll let myself in’. I knew it was over.

I waited for you. My favorite show was on but all I saw were the blurry figures on the screen through my tears. I had finished a whole bottle of white wine. I turn to alcohol when sad. That night, I was worse than sad, I was depressed. It was as though I was waiting for the inevitable sentence of death on my marriage. At 1:15am, you walked in. You were sober and looked happy until you saw me. I brought your straight face out. As much as I wanted and was almost physically itching to, I dared not ask where you had been for two reasons: 1. Early on in our relationship, you had warned me never to inquire as to your whereabouts unless you willingly offered an explanation. 2. I was scared you would be honest and tell me where exactly you had been and the answer would break me. I’d rather not know for sure. So through my post drunken state, I said, ‘welcome, should I bring your food?’.

There was no food but I just wanted to act normal and I was certain you would say no. To my shock, you said yes and proceeded to change the station to watch the replay of your favorite teams’ match screaming at each goal, missed or scored. That confirmed one thing- you had spent the evening and night with someone who didn’t care for football and you sacrificed such a big match for them. You were certainly not with one of the boys, certainly not. I was able to whip up something for you, quickly enough for you not to suspect I’d just started cooking it. You ate it, totally fixated on the tv screen, totally ignoring me. Quietly, I walked to the room and slept off. The time was 2:46 am.

Living a lie is hard. You know your man is cheating, you might even have finally put a face on the bitch’s name. But there you are, playing the dutiful wife. In your mind, it’s better to be an innocent victim, a cheated-on Mrs than have an openly failed marriage. You forget that in both situations, the marriage has failed openly.

sad girl

Dipo got bolder and bolder. He would stay away for weekends claiming he was away on business trips to Abuja, Ibadan, Akure, Kaduna. He forgot who I am. Or maybe he just didn’t care anymore. I am a master sleuth, always have been, always will be. I know everything or can at least find out. In Uni, I’d help my girlfriends find out if their men were cheating by just listening to the stories they tell. I knew which boyfriend was outrightly cheating and which was just bored.

Dipo forgot that we put a tracking device on all our 3 cars and with a click, I’d know exactly where the car was located. Through the tracker, I discovered that his mistress was living in Akute, in the outskirts of Lagos. I found out that he would leave his work at 5pm everyday, pick her up and head to hers together. I’m not sure if he would drive behind her or actually pick her up but he was a man of routine and he stuck to this pattern during the week. On Fridays, the car was usually around the Island till 11/12pm before making the journey to Akute where he would sleep. These days, it was on the Island till Saturday which means they thought better of driving in the dangers of the night and just decided to stay in a hotel. Unfailingly, by 12 noon on Saturday, the car would make the journey to Akute. The check out time for most hotels is 12 noon.

My first reaction to Dipo’s cheating was pain, then sadness, then anger. I wished he had a string of girlfriends. That way, I was assured he gave his heart to no one else. But with just one person in his life, it was clear he was in love with her. That was the main problem. It is easier to salvage a marriage where a party gives just their body away. It is very hard where the heart has also been taken away.

My second main reaction was to seek revenge. I called up an ex boyfriend of mine, ‘just to check up’. I even agreed to meet up with him, ready to give in if he made the move. I thought to myself that if I slept with someone too, we would be even and I wouldn’t feel this much hurt and pain. Thank God it was Seun I chose. I had dated Seun in Year 1 in LASU. We broke up and then had a moment during our Masters year. He was eager to rekindle our love and wasn’t detracted by the fact that I had met someone else. His reasoning was that since I wasn’t married, then I could move on. He’d travel from Dundee to Leicester on the Megabus just to see me and hand-deliver now wilting flowers to me. It was exhilarating but I was strong and in order not to succumb, I stopped picking his calls or responding to his messages.

It was hard at first. Those who had met him the two times he came visiting loved his pleasant and fun nature. He once lifted me up in the city centre much to the delight of my friends and the disapproving looks of some stuck up British people. You see, it was so easy to like Seun. For my friends, they preferred him to the so called boyfriend they had never seen and hardly saw me speak to on the phone simply because he made an effort. Whenever Dipo came to the UK, I’d have to leave school and go to wherever he was. He never ever stepped into Leicester. I always defended him by saying since he had come all the way from Nigeria, the least I could do was to get my butt off to London.

I was Suzy the Seductress the day Seun and I met up but Seun had become born again and was now a Pastor, well not really a Pastor but a counsellor in his church. I guess the Holy Spirit does reveal stuff because he saw through it all. ‘Gbekeleoluwa, why are you doing this?’, he asked as I flirtatiously flicked my Peruvian hair away from my eyes.

skinny jeans

Earlier that day, I had tracked Dipo’s car. It was on its way to Akute and had just gone past Ojodu-Berger. I reminisced on how Dipo would complain and complain about the distance whenever I suggested that we visit my parents in Okota. The very same man was now making daily trips to Akute which is pretty much in Ogun state! That was what sealed my resolve to commit attempted cheating. I wore my hottest skinny jeans, a sheer top and my only Louboutins (yeah, I once caught Dipo admiring a girl in Loubs and thought to invest in the N100,000 red soles and nope, he never for once noticed them!). I applied my make up like I was going for a modeling competition, each lid was well mascara-ed, brows shapened and well highlighted, lips as red as scarlet, cheeks tinted with blush. I was well made up yet it was subtle and classy. I admired myself as I got into my car. I took a few selfies and uploaded one on my DP with a message that read, ” Off to have fun *wide grin* *dancing smiley* ” hoping to God Dipo would notice and ask where I was off to. Lord knows any form of love from him right then would have stopped me. Within 10 minutes of the drive from our Nicon Towers home to the restaurant off Bourdillon, I had received 11 BBMs, some admiring me, others asking where was off to. None was from Dipo.

Ibiso

Like I said, Seun saw through it all and refused to encourage or participate in my decision to commit adultery. He paid for the food and told me that for the sake of God and his love for Him, he had to leave. In his words, ‘Gbeke, I’m literally pulling a Joseph here. It’s either I flee now or I fall. I will be praying for you. Your home will be healed and you will laugh again. Don’t call on any man, call on Jesus. All things are possible’. He got up and walked away. There I was with more food than I could consume. I had no a appetite either. I watched as the waiter counted the 18 notes of N1000 asking if all is well. ‘Yes, I’m fine’ I replied. Another date gone bad, he must have thought. Little did he know. I took my bag and walked into my car, turned on the ignition and the AC. Using the Johnson baby wipes that is always in my car, I wiped off every trace of make up from off my face and drove home.

sad and frustrated

Today, as I write, I place a curse on everyone, who, knowing full well that a person is married, assists in any way, shape, form, manner, however grand or minute, in defiling the marriage bed and causing them to break their vows. May it never be well with them. May they suffer irreparable loss. May they ask and never receive. May they seek and not find. May they knock and may the door remain firmly shut against them. May their children suffer heartbreak. May the disease of the Egyptians fall on them. May the curses of Deuteronomy 28 from verse 15 to 68 be theirs. I also extend this prayer to everyone aiding and abetting them, to their friends who encourage or even condone such acts, who call you and another woman too ‘our wife’, like Dipo’s friend, Sanmi who hooked him up with his mistress. Sanmi, may you look for peace in your home and not find it. Sanmi, I pray that one day, you will find out that your 2 lovely boys belong to your driver and gateman respectively. Sanmi, as you have put asunder, may God close His ears to your cries and cover His eyes to your pains. Amen.

 *

Nkechi came visiting yesterday. I told her everything. Things I have not been able to voice out, even to myself. I spoke it all. She cried and then prayed with me and invited me to her church. Oh, did I mention that going to church has become a drag? Seeing couples holding hands in prayer of agreement and dancing together, laughing etc just makes me remember the void in my life then sickens me to my stomach. So gradually, I stopped going.

I have now decided to go along with her to her Church to pray for a change. I’m not going to hold my breath but I will try and believe that change will come. I will try to resurrect my dead marriage. I will try to bring back the love. I will return to God and ask that He saves me. I’m only 29 and already going through marital turmoil. It really is not a walk in the park.

I have taken time to report the situation because I was scared of baring it all. But I now know I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I tried my best for my home. I did all in the books. I tried to be sexy for my man. By the way, I’m now a size 8 up and 10 down. I would cook and cook and do all I could. Today, it was lasagne, tomorrow it would be ofada rice and stew? Dinner was going to stay fun and unpredictable, I had vowed. On Sundays and Saturdays, it would be the full English breakfast or ‘akara’ made to perfection or the pancakes in the Roman fashion that Fadeke taught me. I was a perfect Hannah the Homemaker and Catherine the Cook. I was also Sasha the sexy fierce vixen in bed, contorting myself till my neck almost snapped. I did absolutely everything, I did all. All but one. I married the wrong man. I was using the right techniques on the wrong product. I went against all I knew was right. I married someone who valued neither my presence nor my absence. I didn’t marry my friend. I didn’t let God choose, I chose and forced Him to approve. I saw the signs before marriage and went ahead. Even after the marriage, I ‘worked’ at it, I never prayed about it. I thought I could make Dipo love me by the things I did. It never works. It’s never in you to make a person love you, never. I’m sure we ladies all have instances of that ‘pest’ who liked us no matter how much we insulted and ignored him. That just goes to show that love is not earned.

black_bride

I have been listening to sermons on restoration. If all these happened during the courtship, I’d have left the relationship, but I am married now. So from all the counsel I have received, I now know God will have to turn my mess around. Marrying Dipo might not have been His perfect will. It might have been His permissive will but I am married and because God hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16), I will do what I can to invite Him into my home to fix my mess.

*

Watch out for the Part 4 and how things end…

Seeking: Fashion Blogger and Fashion Designer!

3 Comments

Hiya!!!

Olivia-Palermos-Fashion-Week-Style-Spring-2013

Olivia-Palermos-Fashion-Week-Style-Spring-2013 London-Fashion-Week-Spring-2013-Street-Style-08-600x400

Do you have a passion for fashion and style? Can you write about fashion? Do you know the latest trends, African styles? Would you fit as a fourth member of the Fashion Police team? If you know you have what it takes to be a fashion blogger please apply to            Shopombre@gmail.com

***

In addition, a fashion designer seeks other fashion designers to join her talent team. To apply send an application and pictures of your designs to lovefashiondesigns@yahoo.com

Have a fun weekend guys!

Temiville.xoxo

Customer Service Training and Job Offer: Introducing Telepoint Communications Ltd!

6 Comments

Hi people,

How’s it going? Hope you all had a nice holiday last week. I hope y’all are having fun. Not many people feel the holidays to be honest. So many of my friends still have to go to work. For those of us who are still waiting on The Lord, there is no clear difference between a working day and a holiday. Everyday, I wake up, say my prayers, say prayers with mom and dad, check for any email from the places I applied, refresh my forever open Law School website to find out if the results are out…

This leads me nicely to the topic for today…Customer Service Training! Now, hear me out guys. Before you start screaming ‘but I studied Banking and Finance!!!’ Lol. Now, when I first heard about so many Graduates of different discipline going to do two week courses on customer service, I was like ‘lai lai’. But then I was approached by the people at Telepoint Communications Ltd to let people know about the training and how useful it is. I visited them three times because as you all know, I’m not one to speak for people like that if I don’t know what exactly you’re about.

I went to their office on Allen Avenue and I saw my legal seniors at the Bar, doctors, accountants from Ife, LASU, MSc degree holders, etc. They were all trying to go through customer service training after which they will write an examination and then get a certificate. I also found out about some who had gone on to secure great jobs thereafter. Most of them get to work in the telecoms industry, others carry in with their respective fields, but all are empowered and more marketable.

Here is more direct information from them:
TELEPOINT COMMUNICATIONS LTD

EARN UP TO N90,0000 MONTHLY THROUGH CUSTOMER SERVICE/CALL CENTER

Become a Customer Care/Call Centre Agent after 2 weeks’ intensive training and earn up to 90,000 Naira monthly as Job Placement Opportunities are available right after training.

Address: Visit 82 Allen Ave Ikeja, opposite Mainstreet bank Lagos or call any of the Advisors.

NB:
-Accommodation available at a small fee for those that do not reside in Lagos
-Weekend option available for those currently working

Call:
•Mike 08092298673
•Stephanie 08137234351
•Bunmi 08128693392
•Funmi 08065642110
•Crystal 08137766764
•Desola 08163749903
•Chioma 07063310536
•Monday 08130360372

http://www.lagostelecom.com
http://www.facebook.com/TMDiploma

So guys, for those like us waiting for work, we can learn something new whilst waiting with a tempting possibility of even branching out. I hear ASUU is on strike, you can take 2 weeks out of sitting at home to learn something new that will set you apart. From learning this transferable skill, you can apply it to an interview to get a job and distinguish yourself from the pack. Just my thought sha! I’m no marketer lol.

Here I am at the training institute.

Me!

Me!

Here are the students in class

102714111427

So go on and give them a call…

Help! I can’t afford her!

17 Comments

I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning. I mean, dating Kikelomo, a girl whose mom drives a modest 2000 Camry and dad drives a ‘Baby boy’ yet are happy to buy their daughter a 2013 Camry complete with a driver that was to take her everywhere. Kikelomo was spoilt silly by her parents. They gave her everything and when I say everything, I mean that literally. They’d sacrifice their own pleasures just to make sure she lacked nothing. She is an only child of older parents. Some parents of their ages have her as their last child of 5 kids. She is 26 and her parents are 69 and 65. They had after many years of praying, fasting and waiting and they made it clear to God, the world and to Kikelomo herself that they were extremely grateful to have her.

black-couple

I first met Kikelomo in my final year of University. I was on a full Shell Scholarship to study Engineering and she was in her Foundation year. She was very popular as she was extremely friendly, attended events, got photographed everywhere, had loads of friends and even more toasters. When she finally started University, she became even more popular. We all thought she was some coded oil magnate’s daughter.

She bought a car as soon as she resumed school as a proper undergraduate. For anyone who understands how the UK works, you’d know owning a car is a total luxury, especially for a student in a campus university. This was not the US or Nigeria where cars are kind of needed. She was also popular for going home (Nigeria) at the slightest break we were given which most people will just spend in London. There were times she’d go for very short periods for a friend’s party or a relative’s event. I remember once we didn’t see her in Church on a Sunday and next thing, I heard she travelled on Friday morning and was expected that Sunday night. She had gone for her aunt’s 60th birthday party. She lived it up in school back then, majorly.

When we eventually started talking, I was expecting a stuck up, proud girl and I was shocked. Kikelomo deceived everyone o. She’s the total opposite of the facade and is quick to tell anyone that is bold enough to ask that she is not a rich girl but a daughter of people with an overprotective heart, who went out of their way to ensure she had everything they would have given 5 sons. Her parents lived for her and gave her everything she asked for and even those she forgot to mention.

I went to hers and saw that they, indeed live a modest life. However, they spared no expense for their daughter and now that she is getting married, hmm, my folks are tired! At first, it was cute, but now, it is getting alarming. Let me give you guys a quick overview of our joint expenses. Oh by the way, they were quick to offer to pay it all if we are uncomfortable with it and that ticked my proud Ondo dad off. Her dad is Ondo too so it was quite something. Anyways, here goes:

Dress: 450k

Ring: Undecided but Kike showed me one she liked on Tiffany website. Me, I look at price before ‘liking’ anything. Kikelomo looks at the thing, likes it and convinces you to get it. I almost wee-ed in my pants when I saw the price. I mean, was it made from the golden calf? That was almost my entire salary for half the year and I have a good job!

Venue: I see absolutely nothing wrong with all these small, cute, venues around town that can seat 200 guests with the maximum price of 750k which I think is ridiculous but doable. Who are we inviting na? Kikelomo and her co-conspirators have picked about 4 options and the cheapest one (which Kike said she would ‘hate to use’ cost 1.1M)

Number of guests: As I said earlier, I think 100 from each side is ideal with allowance of another 100 mogbo moyas making it 300. Kikelomo says her friends alone are about 100! They are planning for 800 guests!

Photographer: Why should we be having a wedding in Nigeria and fly to Jand to do pre-wedding shoots and then fly our photographer, who lives in England, to Nigeria, accommodate him in a 4 star hotel for 2 nights and still pay him a huge sum?!

Entertainment: My mom goes to RCCG and she says their choir is really good. She is a deacon there and can arrange for them to sing songs at the Engagement and Wedding Reception at no cost and we can also get a reasonably priced DJ. Kikelomo has her list of songs that must be played and has one DJ in Festac that she trusts. His price is about 50k more than the one I know but I didn’t mind because I too know of that DJ’s skills. What killed me is that her dad intends to get KSA for the Engagement and trying to organise Wizkid or Iyanya for Wedding! Where’s The Fish! Those guys are bloody expensive and please, guys, answer me honestly, won’t the DJ do a better job of playing their music than they being there themselves panting and lip synching?

MC: I have this funny friend who MCs for a living. He was once popular and you guys may know him sef : Azadus. I met him at Rodizzio in GRA where he is every Saturday at the Freedom Hall Live Band thingy. Kikelomo no gree o. Her mom knows Sonny Irabor and believes he will bring more class to the event. Sonny Irabor charges like a boss that he is!

Decorator: Let’s not even go there. Is it not just balloons and ribbons? How do ballons and ribbons get to 750k?

Cake: Cakes by Tosan. Google the price

The most ridiculous to me so far is the Wedding Planner. Is this Yankee? Why can’t some of her NUMEROUS friends help her plan? Why do we have to pay someone to help us pay vendors? I’m confused.

So while all these are like jokes and all, truth is, I’m getting really fed up. For parents who have never married off a child, they know too much about wedding planning and it is clear they must have been planning their only child’s wedding since she was conceived and they found out they’d be having a girl. I’m not from a poor home, no. But I have younger ones and aside of that, I see no reason spending so much on ONE day! What about other things? More important other things? More lasting other things?

I get their excitement but I need to value my own parents too and this is getting really exhausting for them.  I know it’s a girl’s wedding but Im beginning to think maybe I really cannot afford her. I’ve not even given you guys the little expenses here and there such as fresh flowers, Louboutin shoes with our initials on the red soles, her insistence that I get a suit from Saville Row instead of from the tailor who makes lovely suits for my clolleages and I at work. The list is endless!

What exactly would you do???

Fed up Freddy

***

Hi people!!!

What’s going on? It’s just 12 noon and I have already been hit by 2 vehicles, one of which was a trailer. I was just fed up. When I spoke to my brothers about it, they asked me why I didn’t get down and take his details. I was too fed up to do that. I ordinarily would get down and rant and rave but today, I just let it go. I have purposed in my heart that my joy is unstealable. When I finally arrived at my destination, the security guard helped me hit the dent out and used engine oil to clean the scrapes so now it looks much better. I’ll find a panel beater later on.

So what do you guys think about Fed up Freddy’s post? Is he being a cheapskate or is Kike’s family being ridiculous? Share your thoughts people. How is it possible to have a fun, classy event without going broke…

That’s all folks!

Temiville.xoxo

Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,626 other followers